Q How do I choose a wedding dress when I?m not the most feminine person? I?m getting married this summer, and my fianc�e wants me to wear a gown, too. The wedding will be outdoors and we live in the Southwest, so it?ll be warm. I don?t mind wearing the dress, but I need some guidance for getting started.
A You seem like an extraordinarily nice woman to wear what your partner wants you to wear on your wedding day (let?s remember that this is your big day, too).
I?m certainly not advocating that you choose something different and mess up this nice give, give, give flow you?ve got going on with your wife-to-be, but I do want you to seriously consider wearing what your comfortable in?not just something you ?don?t mind wearing.?
Even the plainest of wedding dresses are feminine. So if you haven?t worn a dress since that black strappy number for your 9th grade homecoming dance, chances are you?re not going to feel comfortable in a wedding dress.
[1]
But you asked me a question, and I?m going to answer it. However, should you decide that pants are the way to go?women?s or men?s, you have every right to explore that avenue.
The ABCs of dress shopping:
Peruse wedding websites (you can start with ours at http://www.equallywed.com [2], clicking on Real Weddings, so you can see what gowns?and suits!?other lesbians are wearing, and our Gown Gallery, to view the latest offerings in bridal couture).
Take note of the shapes you like: trumpet, A-line, mermaid, ball gown, princess or column, as well as the shape you think would best compliment your figure.
Full-figured gals do great with A-line and ball gown. Those with less junk in the trunk look like goddesses in the column or trumpet. Do you want straps, a sweetheart neckline (dips at the breast), a halter or strapless? Do you like dresses with a lot of bling or ruching (gathered fabric)? Take all these thoughts with you when you go dress shopping.
Not to keep pimping out our site, but we have combed the country for gay-friendly wedding vendors, including gown shops, so if you don?t already have a boutique in mind, start with our Local Resources [3] to find a place near you that?ll treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.
Other key factors to keep in mind:
*Set a budget and stick with it. You can get a very nice wedding dress for $300 or a drop-dead-gorgeous $50,000 couture gown. Know how much you can spend, and try not to deviate too much. There?s a heck of a lot of other items on your wedding shopping list that need your money, too.
*If you are planning on getting a custom-made gown, start as soon as possible, because some designers can take up to six months to create your vision. Buying off the rack alleviates this problem, and you can usually get it altered by the store?s in-house seamstress.
*Call the boutique you?re planning on starting at and ask them what the range of costs is for its dresses. No sense in getting your heart broken on something you can?t afford.
*Take only one or two people with you on your dress-shopping day. You only want your most trusted loved ones giving you their thoughts?not a peanut gallery.
*At the store, tell the associate the styles you?ve been drawn to and your budget. You could even have printed out some that you particularly love to show him or her. But be open to something different, too. Always try on something completely out of your element. You never know what could happen!
Kirsten Palladino is the editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation?s premier same-sex wedding magazine, online at http://www.equallywed.com [2]. Equally Wed offers gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer couples a guide to their weddings, a social community and�a marketplace of vetted LGBT-friendly wedding vendors. Follow Equally Wed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/equallywed [5].
[1] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-lesbian-wedding-top.jpg
[2] http://www.equallywed.com/
[3] http://equallywed.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=63&Itemid=70
[4] http://www.equallywed.com/
[5] http://www.twitter.com/equallywed
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