Take Every Thought Captive

Back in the day, when I was still trying to pray my gay away, I studied to be a biblical counselor to find out what a biblical counselor would tell me to do to fix myself so I wouldn't be a lesbian anymore.  One of the books that I read in my studies was called "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.  In that book, she talked about forgiveness and introduced a concept that was life-changing for me: taking your thoughts captive.The way she put it, (from a Christian standpoint) when we become aware that we have an un-Christlike thought about someone, it's like the Holy Spirit tapping you on the shoulder reminding you to stop thinking that, capture the thought and, according to 2 Corinthians 10:5, replace it with another thought that is Christlike.  This could be in the form of a prayer for them, or thinking of something positive or good about them.I used it to change my negative thoughts towards my mom about how she treated my siblings and I and the ways that I felt she had wronged me.  I did this by repeatedly praying God's blessing upon her or thinking about the ways that she had been a good mother, such as feeding us healthy foods, involving us in sports and lessons and giving up her career so that she could be a stay at home mom.  By using this technique, I was eventually able to move past my hurt and cultivate love and empathy for her in my mind.  Purposefully changing my thoughts literally re-routed my neuropathways towards positive instead of negative!Not Only Jesus, But This Works With Buddha, TooNot long ago, I was walking with my girlfriend, Kelly.  We were talking about a mutual acquaintance who had wronged us both.  Kelly was telling me that each time she thinks about what that person did, she arrests the thought and thinks about it in a way that benefits her. I immediately recognized the technique from my biblical counseling days and asked her where she learned it.  She said she was listening to an audio book called "Buddha's Brain".  Author Rick Hanson wrote about this technique, as well as others, in what he subtitled "The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom".I found it fascinating that this scientific function has been applied by religions to teach inner peace and well-being. It made me want to read the book Kelly was reading and also to share it with you all since we have both found it very helpful.  Let me break it down for you all so you have an easy take-away:When you become aware that you are thinking or speaking negatively, you just won!  Congrats!  (Most people don't realize it and they just continue to be negative and make everyone around them want to run for the hills.)Make the decision that the negative thought/speech will stop immediately.Think of something positive to think/say about that person or situation and think/say it. RinseRepeat In no time, that lying, manipulative, rude, low-class bitch who trash talks you to anyone who will listen will be neutralized and you will no longer think of her at all.  That bastard ex of yours will become known as a decent sperm donor that made your amazing children and you will acknowledge that his presence in your life, however much pain it led to, was necessary for the joy that it brought you in the form of your kids.  See how this works?  You are literally changing your brain so recognize that it does take some time and consistent practice but it works! You will even start to look for the good in people automatically instead of being cynical and suspicious.  You will give people the benefit of a doubt and be more likely to forgive people.  You will be ready to recognize when people don't vibrate at your level and, instead of ending relationships in harsh and angry ways, you will learn to send them love and go down your own path without the pain that used to accompany such relationship endings.I hope you will try this and get back to me to let me know how it's working for you.  I'm anxious to hear your stories.Love (most of) you!

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