The Blend 2012 GOP Clown Car Update

Good lord, the GOP has clowns stepping all over one another to hop into the 2012 Clown Car.
At the top of the list is Mike Huckabee, who is apparently trying to sound as deranged as possible in order to grab The Base (of Stupidity). The former Arkansas governor apparently has little control over himself after his incredible statement that Barack Obama "grew up in Kenya" (he now says he that he "misspoke"). And he's got issues -- footage of him has surfaces saying he only answers to his wife and crazed fundie Janet "bringing a fetus to testify" Porter, yet he's still the man to beat in all of the polls. The latest:
The Wall Street Journal/NBC News survey released Wednesday night showed Huckabee winning 25 percent of likely Republican voters, followed closely by Mitt Romney at 21 percent. Newt Gingrich garners 13 percent of the vote and Sarah Palin 12 percent, according to the poll, but no other GOP hopeful tops single-digits.
Well the above news cannot be music to the ears of either Rick Santorum or Newt Gingrich, potential Clown Car occupants who are apparently doing too much jockeying for a seat position, even by Faux News standards:
Fox News announced Wednesday that it is suspending the contracts of political contributors Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum because both have demonstrated that they are seriously considering running for president.
Dianne Brandi, the network's executive vice president of legal and business affairs, said in an interview that the channel made the move because Gingrich aides told Fox News executives that the former House speaker is stepping up his exploration of a presidential bid.
While Gingrich is not expected to announce that he is forming a federal exploratory committee this week, he is expected to say in Georgia on Thursday that he is meeting with advisors to explore seeking the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, a Gingrich aide said.
Santorum, a former senator from Pennsylvania, has indicated that he plans to participate in Republican primary debates, Brandi said, "so that leads us to believe he is seriously considering running."
Brandi said the network acted out of journalistic principle.
Did you have to re-read that last sentence out of disbelief? Hold the phone - both Huckabee and Sarah Palin are still on the Faux News payroll!! What a joke. Speaking of Palin, her protege, Michele Bachmann is already showing signs of oxygen-depleted brain function from blowing up too many Clown Car balloons for her arrival. Look at this delusion:
Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., thinks she might be in the wrong House.
She knows the Republican takeover of the House of Representatives is allowing her party to vote to cut spending and take the first steps toward reversing the Obama agenda.
But she also knows it's not enough, and is quick to tell party activists that they'll have to win the White House next year if they really want to change the government's course. And she thinks she might be just the one to do it.
...She once said the media should investigate the loyalty of members of Congress. She said that Obama might create "re-education camps" to indoctrinate young people. She repeated as fact an erroneous report that President Barack Obama's recent trip to India cost $200 million a day. She's said that FDR turned a "manageable" recession into the Great Depression.
The lunacy is of course shared by her cheerleaders. Take this SC woman who's taken a hit off of the Clown Car pipe:
"Polished . . . sophisticated," said Peggy Upchurch, a Republican from Lake Wylie, S.C. "She's not the crazy right-wing person I was led to believe."
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Meanwhile, I don't know what to think about this WSJ commentary by Darrell Delamaide, "Can a fat man get elected president - GOP hopefuls defy conventional wisdom on looks." I guess it is a relevant question in this age of bulemia, anorexia and the myth that fat=stupid, lazy, ignorant, etc., but given the subjects in this article I'd have to counter that their weight is the least of their problems. The WSJ photo montage selection doesn't help matters...
The Republicans seem ready to defy, or at least challenge, that conventional wisdom with their lineup of presidential prospects for 2012. It is, of course, politically incorrect to speak of a candidate's physical attributes - even though sometimes it is, if you'll pardon the pun, the elephant in the room.
So we come to the current crop of potential presidential candidates in the Republican Party. Several of the party darlings are well outside the weight norm of what is considered telegenic - New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.
An overall flattering portrait of Christie in last weekend's New York Times Magazine nonetheless felt compelled to state the following: "Chris Christie is fat. You can use nicer words if you want - rotund, portly, big-boned - but it is what it is, and the governor will be the first to tell you so."
Christie could slim down to, say, a Kevin James in "The King of Queens" and be a conventionally presentable candidate. (James is a TV and movie actor, after all.) As for Barbour, he's got much heavier baggage than his weight; ditto, Gingrich. And Huckabee may opt to stay, uh, heavy and happy on TV.
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney is probably the most presidential-looking of the potential male candidates in the Republican camp, in terms of height and weight. (Don't forget hair - it's a good bet we'd elect an overweight president before a bald one.) We don't yet know much about how winning female candidates will look.
Oh, I have a good idea about any female prez candidate -- you won't see a heavy-set woman elected president any time soon. Any woman with a chance will have a low body mass index, and be focus group tested for hair, clothing choice, makeup, everything 10x worse than what a man would have to put up with. And she simply cannot have an ample bust and/or booty, since that will clearly throw the media into a misogynist tizzy.

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