Pride. It?s not shame.

[Editor’s Note: This article was written by the team of Gaelick, an award-winning Irish website for LGBT-news.]

I was watching The Rachel Maddow Show podcast the other day and I was struck by something she said.


I am definitely gay.




It was the way she said it. No shame. No lowering her voice. She was most definitely not apologising or trying to explain it away. In fact, she seemed damned proud of it. I wish that wasn’t something worth noticing.

Every year we march in a Pride parade. We wear ‘Pride’ symbols. But how many of us can stand up and say we’re really rather proud to be gay?

Melissa Etheridge came out publicly by saying, “I am proud to say I have been a lesbian all my life.”  The video is one of the more fun coming outs you’ll ever see. Who doesn’t want a hug from k.d. lang the moment you come out? I’d forgive her for being a couple decades late, actually.



I mean, from the first day that I came out to a friend, I kind of loved being gay. I loved it, despite how it sort of ruined my life plan. Despite the friends it cost me and knowing that it would be problematic when I got around to telling my family too. I loved it.

I remember my first Pride. I hitch-hiked to the nearest big city — about 3 hours away. I stayed with friends who had a ton of people around preparing. I sat in awe as the drag queens prepared themselves. I met a beautiful girl with short hair who said I looked like Drew Barrymore. (yes, it worked). We watched the parade — the dykes on bikes, the drag queens throwing condoms at the crowd —  as they walked/rode/danced down a central city street, cheered on by all kinds of onlookers. I was made a bit misty eyed by the sight of families watching. I felt like a Biblical prophet given a vision of how awesome the world could be.

Later, we danced to Ricky Martin (I know, right?) and Cher. There were other nights like this too. We drank whiskey, pink drinks with rum, and beer and we played with feather boas. We made jokes about lesbians at the pool tables and the men on the dance floor. A man dressed as Satan dirty danced with a man dressed as a priest. The world was incredible, limitless and colourful. And it still is.

I asked a group of women what they liked best about being queer. And their answers were damn good too. From it being a small world, how it makes you learn to not be a jerk, making out, sex, and boobies - these are all really good reasons to enjoy being gay. I’d add being in love. But the awesome about being LGBT is always about the other LGBT people. The ones you’re friends with, the ones you dated, the ones you hooked up with, the ones you fought with, protested with, drank with, and loved. All of them. The community.

How is it that people get down on the vibrant nature of their community?

I read this yesterday and it filled me with a kind of RAGE. The title really says it all:


When protesting for my rights, please try not to be incredibly stupid and counterproductive


This guy is moaning that drag queens were protesting for marriage equality (or for his rights, as he puts it). A commenter agrees with the writer saying that these kinds of protests “frighten straights”. Really? Who gives a good god damn?



Our own Panti Bliss

The fact is that those drag queens (and there were other people there too, not in drag) were protesting for Mr Kinkaid’s rights. They were also protesting for their own rights, and the rights of the entire community. If Mr Kinkaid thinks they are not adequately representing men who wear ties and hush puppies, then he needs to get out there and protest too.

And maybe if he’d protest alongside those drag queens, he’d realise they are, in fact, taking it all quite seriously. And maybe he’d get over his misplaced shame.

We’re all in this together, or at least we should be. And there’s a reason we celebrate ‘Pride’. It’s so we don’t forget that we’re constantly fighting shame — our own, as much as others’.

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