Texts from Lindsey

.This is Lindsey, my hilarious, snarky teenage daughter.  We communicate on a daily basis.  My preference is to have an actual conversation, where I can hear her voice or look at the expressions on her face.  Her preference is via text messages. where she can say what she wants and ignore my replies.  Over the last year, I have been "locking" some of her funny texts in my phone to save.  However, those messages now make up roughly 75% of all of the messages in my phone.  I need to make room for new messages so I have to start deleting them.  What to do?.I asked Lindsey if I could start publishing them here on my blog.  That way, I can still have a place to go look at them and laugh but they won't be filling up my phone.  Also, God forbid that I should lose my phone somewhere (it's been known to happen) and I lose all of the funny messages.  So without further ado, here is the first installment of a new series that I won't be calling "Shit my Daughter Says", but rather "Texts from Lindsey".  Since they all have her number on the screen, I shall just be typing what the message says instead of screenshotting my phone.  Enjoy!.Reflecting on a conversation that we had about my first wedding and how my mom planned everything and all I asked for was watermelon.  My mom, an elitist, balked about watermelon not being a "classy" food.  To make me laugh, Lindsey sent this:Text #1: "How do you make watermelon classy?".When I gave her brother a chocolate but she was in another room, she texted me:Text #2: "Why does only Nick (her brother) get chocolate?".Text #3: "i need someone to text... will you text me?".Text #4: "PING PONG wubbawubbawubbyubba  WAHHHHHHHHHHH.  That was my cute text for the day.".From a wedding that she didn't want to go to but she was forced by her dad to attend, she texted me: Text #5: "...help me...im drowning in awkwardness...".I asked her if there was an actual thing that I could do to help her.  She replied with:Text #6: "no.  I just wanted to complain.  thnx.".Text #7: (from school) "...eww im dissecting a frog.  its gross".Text #8: (sending me a news headline) " 'BADASS GRANDMA SLAPS FOULMOUTH GRANDDAUGHTER' <---full of winningness".Text #9: "What I am is good enough, if I could only be it openly. - Carl R. Rogers".When I was in Target and she wanted to stay in the car to read, she texted me this request for me to purchase a bag of rainbow Goldfish Crackers:Text #10:  "bring me gay fish plz :)".This happy news:Text #11: "i got into honors english :)".and the last one for today, this gem:Text #12: "So I was thinking of starting a cult..."

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