You no doubt heard about the violence on May 23, 2014 in Santa Barbara, California that killed seven people, including the perpetrator, Elliot Rodger.
I must admit that, upon hearing the news, my thoughts lapsed into a long list of shoulds: We should have better gun control in this country; this young man?s family should have taken more responsibility for him and his mental health issues; the police should have been more aware of his situation.
The problem with after-the-fact shoulds is that they do us no good, because we can?t go back and undo what has been done.
Very often, forgiveness is a process, not an event. We might start with our teeth clenched; using words in our minds to describe the person we are forgiving with less than socially acceptable words. But we start, and we keep thinking thoughts of forgiveness, until our memories of that person, or that event, hold no fire for us.
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