Memo To Commander-In-Chief Wannabe Bachmann: We'll Be Back

My dear friend Ian Finkenbinder has a question for Presidential Candidate Bachmann: Do you really want this on your doorstep?The doorstep Ian is alluding to lies at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC. A hypothetical future scenario so awful it gives us all chills, I know, but bear with me past the fold and I'll explain. Now, to understand what set my friend off you have to know Michele Bachmann said something crazy in her straw poll victory lap. Well, she said a lot of crazy things, but one thing in particular touched a nerve for dear Ian. Among the many crazy things Mrs. Bachmann said was she all but assured Candy Crowley on CNN's State of the Union President Bachmann would reinstate "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" if she were elected to serve as Commander-in-Chief. Bachmann told Crowley:CROWLEY: If you became president, would you reinstitute the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy in the military, which said that gays could not serve openly in the military.BACHMANN: The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy has worked very well. And I think… CROWLEY: Would you reinstitute it then? Because it’s been set aside. BACHMANN: It worked very well. And I would be in consultation with our commanders. But I think yes, I probably would. The awful truth is according to the New York Times: "Turns out that it wouldn’t be hard to do, legal experts say." Which is all the background you need to know to understand what set my friend off. See Ian has been fighting to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for a long time. He was among more than a dozen Arabic translators discharged in 2005, and was happy to embarrass Commander-in-Chief Bush in the media in the aftermath.  So when Ian says: I would like Michele Bachmann, in all her political theater and insane grandstanding, to consider this: *If you reinstate DADT, I'll be back.* I don't care how many times I have to chain myself to that fence, I will be back, and you will be in for a long, pain-in-the-ass ordeal and media extravaganza.  Do you really want this on your doorstep?When I took the fence with my comrades-in-arms, America paid attention. Do you want that level of scrutiny on your anti-gay politics? Your recent interviews, essentially refusing to address your anti-gay past, would indicate you don't. So don't screw this up for yourself, Michele. Because we're watching you, and handcuffs really aren't that expensive.Mrs. Bachman? You best be believing him. He has already brought the fight to the Bush Administration, and he brought the fight to the Obama Administration and he will relish bringing the fight to the Bachmann Administration.  Yes, Mrs. Bachmann, you would be well-advised to listen to my friend Ian because he is One Angry Queer.  And he's not the only one. Let's look back on your last few months, shall we? You've personally been glittered. Your gay "cure" clinic has been has been infilerated. Your gay "cure" clinic has been glittered. You've been pestered relentlessly with annoying questions about the gays you won't answer. You've even got 17-year old High School Seniors heckling your public events—in Iowa! → You swapped out your old favorite phrase ("teh gheys are of Satan!") for a new one: "I am running for the President of the United States..." You're a strict Constitutionalist, except the parts you don't like, those you promise you'll help rewrite.I'd be careful, because if you follow through on the path you are currently running on now, you are looking at a very long and very messy Presidency. Really, if someone were prone to headaches it could well turn into four years of pure Hell (on Earth, you make your own fate after that).  I'm not sure you fully comprehend there's a new post-Prop 8 attitude: It's very fashionable and it's sweeping the nation, even among High School kids in Iowa apparently. Who knew? And, Ian wasn't alone on that fence. And I promise you, Ian won't be alone next time either. Like he said, handcuffs are cheap. So, try us. Ask your friend Rick Santorum how that's working out for him. CC: Ed Rollins; Rick Perry; Mitt Romney; Newt Gingrich; Rick Santorum 

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