Same-sex couples flock to SF for weekend weddings
The nuptials began Friday after the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, responding to the U.S. Supreme Court's historic rulings Wednesday on same-sex marriage, lifted the stay that had stopped them for years.
First up on Saturday were Petra and Antoinette Torri of Sonoma, who rose at 5 a.m. for their big day.
"Why?" Petra asked.
Because we're not married!
Marriages' legal labyrinthSoon, weddings were happening everywhere - on the grand staircase, in the balconies, around the marble rotunda - just as in 2004, when 3,955 same-sex couples became the nation's first to wed.
Same-sex weddings were briefly legal again after a state Supreme Court decision in 2008, and those unions remain valid.
On Wednesday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Prop. 8's sponsors, a conservative group, lacked standing to represent the state in defense of the initiative, clearing the way for the same-sex marriages.
Group tries to halt decisionThe Alliance Defending Freedom, a religious group in Arizona, asked the court to overrule what it called a premature decision by the Court of Appeals to lift its stay.
By law, opponents have 25 days to seek a rehearing on the matter, and the group said the appeals court itself had indicated earlier it would not lift the stay until then.
"Shocked, stunned, overwhelmed and relieved" was how Potoczniak, a captain in the Army Reserve, said he felt after John Loschmann, a volunteer officiant, pronounced the couple "spouses for life" on the balcony overlooking the rotunda.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Playing my part in making life for fellow LGBT countryfolk bearable.
The State-sanctioned homophobia and transphobia in Malaysia, my country of origin, is breaking my heart. What can I do as a currently overseas citizen to make things better for my fellow LGBT folk back in Malaysia, particularly in raising awareness of the issue internationally? I left Malaysia for various reasons, but one core reason was escaping the various persecutions and micro/macro-aggressions I felt for who I am. Most of this has to do with race (my parents are Bangladeshi migrants) and citizenship/residency, but I also felt that I wouldn't be safe exploring my sexuality in a country that so deeply vilifies sexuality that "sexy" is a slur and politicians get run out of Parliament for what they wear (or don't) in their sleep. It took me until I had been in Australia for a few years that I felt safe and able to explore my sexuality and gender without having to look behind my back to see if I will get screwed over by the Malaysian Government. I have had friends and acquaintances who cannot go back to Malaysia because they will face persecution, and one person whose Government scholarship was revoked and who was forced to come back home because her ex outed her as a trans woman.
I am trying to get the word out about the situation in Malaysia, especially this ridiculous propaganda musical, but I am facing a few roadblocks:
1. I am overseas and am not likely to return to Malaysia anytime soon, so my ability to organise something back home is limited. If I did try to do something in Malaysia, I'd be dismissed as a "foreign Zionist agent" of some fashion.
2. Incorporated into the musical is a plot point about how LGBT people who protest are being paid a handsome sum by the Opposition party and are merely reacting against the advice of "reasonable Malay Muslims". This makes any show of protest difficult to be taken seriously - especially when the main sexuality rights event in the country gets shut down for "threatening to disrupt public order" - pretty much the main excuse for arresting any protestor ever.
3. I am trying to get the word out in the Bay Area (where I live right now), especially with the Queer People of Color circles I am heavily involved with. Not many people have really picked up on this though - most people get stuck on "a musical about anti-gay sentiment! ISN'T THAT IRONIC" and don't move on from there. Also it seems that Malaysia doesn't quite have the White/Western Savior Cred of places like Uganda or India, where people seem to care more about LGBT issues there.
4. Even when there are people that DO care, I'm at a loss for what they could do. Petitions are pointless, because the Malaysian Government isn't going to pay attention (the whole paid-by-the-Opposition thing). International attention would be handy, but then it becomes "Foreign Zionist Agents". Tying this in to the United Nations may be useful, but I'm sure there will be a stack of countries who will take Malaysia's side.
5. People often bring up voting, but Malaysia has arcane voting laws that make it near impossible for overseas residents to vote. I technically am allowed to vote overseas because I'm an international student (one of the few classes of overseas residents allowed to vote), but I have to register in Malaysia first - not overseas. Gah! (Besides, it's not like there is anyone to vote for in my district that isn't Ruling Party, and there's a lot of electoral fraud.)
I want Malaysians to see that the so-called deviants are people like everyone else, diverse and unique and part of their community, and not a danger or scrounge to society. My current idea is to organise a performance of monologues, ala Yoni ki Baat (semi self link) or The Vagina Monologues, about Malaysians dealing with the stigmatization of sexuality. Not just in terms of being LGBT, but also slut-shaming, ageism against young people, and misogyny - one does not have to do much to be branded a sexual deviant in Malaysia. I have been and am currently involved in these sorts of This requires being back in Malaysia for a substantial amount of time, which I am not able to do right now. I'm also reminded of how the Vagina Monologues are banned in Malaysia and how anything of this nature would have to be underground...which then leads to the issue of preaching to the choir, the people who already know that LGBT people are not evil...rather than the people who will be affected by this propaganda. Something along the lines of the Pussy Riot worldwide protests would be awesome, but I'm not sure how to get people to care.
Any ideas of what I can do to get international support? I'm reaching out super slowly, one person at a time, but I really don't want Malaysia to get away with it and continue being an unsafe hostile space for people like me.
I am trying to get the word out about the situation in Malaysia, especially this ridiculous propaganda musical, but I am facing a few roadblocks:
1. I am overseas and am not likely to return to Malaysia anytime soon, so my ability to organise something back home is limited. If I did try to do something in Malaysia, I'd be dismissed as a "foreign Zionist agent" of some fashion.
2. Incorporated into the musical is a plot point about how LGBT people who protest are being paid a handsome sum by the Opposition party and are merely reacting against the advice of "reasonable Malay Muslims". This makes any show of protest difficult to be taken seriously - especially when the main sexuality rights event in the country gets shut down for "threatening to disrupt public order" - pretty much the main excuse for arresting any protestor ever.
3. I am trying to get the word out in the Bay Area (where I live right now), especially with the Queer People of Color circles I am heavily involved with. Not many people have really picked up on this though - most people get stuck on "a musical about anti-gay sentiment! ISN'T THAT IRONIC" and don't move on from there. Also it seems that Malaysia doesn't quite have the White/Western Savior Cred of places like Uganda or India, where people seem to care more about LGBT issues there.
4. Even when there are people that DO care, I'm at a loss for what they could do. Petitions are pointless, because the Malaysian Government isn't going to pay attention (the whole paid-by-the-Opposition thing). International attention would be handy, but then it becomes "Foreign Zionist Agents". Tying this in to the United Nations may be useful, but I'm sure there will be a stack of countries who will take Malaysia's side.
5. People often bring up voting, but Malaysia has arcane voting laws that make it near impossible for overseas residents to vote. I technically am allowed to vote overseas because I'm an international student (one of the few classes of overseas residents allowed to vote), but I have to register in Malaysia first - not overseas. Gah! (Besides, it's not like there is anyone to vote for in my district that isn't Ruling Party, and there's a lot of electoral fraud.)
I want Malaysians to see that the so-called deviants are people like everyone else, diverse and unique and part of their community, and not a danger or scrounge to society. My current idea is to organise a performance of monologues, ala Yoni ki Baat (semi self link) or The Vagina Monologues, about Malaysians dealing with the stigmatization of sexuality. Not just in terms of being LGBT, but also slut-shaming, ageism against young people, and misogyny - one does not have to do much to be branded a sexual deviant in Malaysia. I have been and am currently involved in these sorts of This requires being back in Malaysia for a substantial amount of time, which I am not able to do right now. I'm also reminded of how the Vagina Monologues are banned in Malaysia and how anything of this nature would have to be underground...which then leads to the issue of preaching to the choir, the people who already know that LGBT people are not evil...rather than the people who will be affected by this propaganda. Something along the lines of the Pussy Riot worldwide protests would be awesome, but I'm not sure how to get people to care.
Any ideas of what I can do to get international support? I'm reaching out super slowly, one person at a time, but I really don't want Malaysia to get away with it and continue being an unsafe hostile space for people like me.
MCC conference to focus on global justice
For all its 45 years of ministry and 25th General Conference, the Metropolitan Community Church MCC has never held its tri-annual gathering in Chicago. That is about to change when MCC's General Conference 2013 convenes July 1-5 at the Fairmont Chicago. The theme of the conference is "Believe."
Bonez N Booze with Franki
Bartender and Culinary Extraordinaire
Franki has been a staple in the San Diego lesbian, nightlife and art scene for a long time. She is someone that everyone has something good to say about. Franki was one of the first lesbians to throw San Diego art shows including The No Name Art Shows that drew in huge crowds eager to participate in something other than the status quo. Franki has the reputation of being one of San Diego’s hottest and most down to earth bartenders. A combination hard to find in any person let alone a bartender and she truly is one of a kind. Talented in the art of making drinks and customer service she commands her bar like a pro. She is equally as talented in the arts of all kinds. Everything from food to painting to the drums she does well and grabs attention while do…
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Franki has been a staple in the San Diego lesbian, nightlife and art scene for a long time. She is someone that everyone has something good to say about. Franki was one of the first lesbians to throw San Diego art shows including The No Name Art Shows that drew in huge crowds eager to participate in something other than the status quo. Franki has the reputation of being one of San Diego’s hottest and most down to earth bartenders. A combination hard to find in any person let alone a bartender and she truly is one of a kind. Talented in the art of making drinks and customer service she commands her bar like a pro. She is equally as talented in the arts of all kinds. Everything from food to painting to the drums she does well and grabs attention while do…
Read More
NOW Applauds Obama Administration's Movement toward Allowing Access to Over-the-Counter Emergency Contraceptive Without Age Restrictions
http://now.org/press/06-13/06-11.htmlThe National Organization for Women is encouraged by the Obama administration's promise to federal district court Judge Edward R. Korman that it will withdraw its appeal of his ruling, in which the FDA was ordered to make all forms of emergency contraception available over the counter without age restrictions.
Sweet: My Sister is a Star!
In the Life was aboard the Sweet Cruise that Lipstick & I were on in November. They made an awesome video and Dipstick's sister Mary Belge is interviewed. Check it out!
Pols join with Illinois Unites pride contingent
Illinois Unites for Marriage, working in support of The Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act, is bringing its diverse, statewide coalition to Chicago's 2013 Pride Parade this Sunday to emphasize the unity of the LGBT community and allies and our message that "We Are Committed to Winning the Freedom to Marry."
Saturday, June 29, 2013
NOW Applauds Obama Administration's Movement toward Allowing Access to Over-the-Counter Emergency Contraceptive Without Age Restrictions
http://now.org/press/06-13/06-11.htmlThe National Organization for Women is encouraged by the Obama administration's promise to federal district court Judge Edward R. Korman that it will withdraw its appeal of his ruling, in which the FDA was ordered to make all forms of emergency contraception available over the counter without age restrictions.
PRIDE More vents ...
Summer Pride on Southport, June 29 and 30 on Southport Ave. at Waveland, bills itself as "the unofficial pre- and post parade party.
Report: 76,000 wed gay couples have state recognition
LOS ANGELES— Of the nation's approximately 114,000 legally married same-sex couples, the UCLA School of Law's Williams Institute estimates that 76,000 couples live in states that recognize their marriages.
Gerber/Hart to hold open house Pride Sunday
It has been more than a year since Chicago's LGBT library was open to patrons, but that will change Sunday, June 30.
Zayn Malik Shirtless
Zayn Malik Shirtless
Zayn Malik Shirtless - The cute one from One Direction in this years X factor
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Zayn Malik Shirtless - The cute one from One Direction in this years X factor
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Family Ties... Again
My Mormon parents won't let me bring my lesbian partner to my brother's wedding (and other big events in our lives). How do we get through this? Natasha and I live together in Salt Lake City. We've been together for just over a year now and I love her. My partner and parents have met exactly once. My parents are Mormon, and live an hour away.
Since I wrote this question my brother has met the girl of his dreams and they are getting married this weekend. In addition, a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee has come and gone, and my grandpa died two weeks ago.
Navigating this zone of family events has been difficult because these are all events I would want my partner to go with me to, but she is explicitly NOT invited. When I wrote the question in June, I was just thinking of Thanksgiving and the Fourth. I wasn't thinking about the Big Events (i.e. Funerals and Weddings). Silly me.
About a month after I wrote the question to MeFi, my parents and Natasha met for a brief dinner and had a pleasant conversation. It went well enough. They told me later that they thought she was charming that they could tell she made me happy. I took this as a step in the right direction but it was the last direct contact they have had since then.
Since this meeting some events have taken place.
In October, there was a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee that we were both invited to by the fiancee. My mom called me as Natasha and I pulled into the parking lot at the bridal shower. My mom told me Natasha was not welcome. I told her Natasha was invited by the hostess, as I was. Despite her protesting, we went in, had some cider. My mom sulked at a table. We hung out with my sisters and then we left.
Fast forward another month. There was a funeral for my mom's dad this past weekend. My mom told me my partner was not invited. Natasha offered to drive me out of state to the funeral, so I wouldn't have to drive in the same car as my mom- even though she wasn't invited to the funeral. It was hard to walk up to that casket alone.
I don't want Natasha to go where she's not welcome. I don't want her to feel she's not accepted. Plenty of people love us and think we're awesome. But we need to be present when Life Events happen. I don't want to endure Life Events alone without my partner.
TLdr: My brother is getting married this Saturday. Natasha is not invited to the wedding. I am aware that my parents' viewpoint is shocking, outdated even for most Mormons, and just plain tacky. My partner comes first, and my parents' homophobia is ridiculous. I am going to the wedding to support my brother and his new love.
1) What mantra can I repeat to people to explain my mom's bad behavior?
2) How do we get through this?
3) Any advice for the future?
Thank you.
Since I wrote this question my brother has met the girl of his dreams and they are getting married this weekend. In addition, a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee has come and gone, and my grandpa died two weeks ago.
Navigating this zone of family events has been difficult because these are all events I would want my partner to go with me to, but she is explicitly NOT invited. When I wrote the question in June, I was just thinking of Thanksgiving and the Fourth. I wasn't thinking about the Big Events (i.e. Funerals and Weddings). Silly me.
About a month after I wrote the question to MeFi, my parents and Natasha met for a brief dinner and had a pleasant conversation. It went well enough. They told me later that they thought she was charming that they could tell she made me happy. I took this as a step in the right direction but it was the last direct contact they have had since then.
Since this meeting some events have taken place.
In October, there was a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee that we were both invited to by the fiancee. My mom called me as Natasha and I pulled into the parking lot at the bridal shower. My mom told me Natasha was not welcome. I told her Natasha was invited by the hostess, as I was. Despite her protesting, we went in, had some cider. My mom sulked at a table. We hung out with my sisters and then we left.
Fast forward another month. There was a funeral for my mom's dad this past weekend. My mom told me my partner was not invited. Natasha offered to drive me out of state to the funeral, so I wouldn't have to drive in the same car as my mom- even though she wasn't invited to the funeral. It was hard to walk up to that casket alone.
I don't want Natasha to go where she's not welcome. I don't want her to feel she's not accepted. Plenty of people love us and think we're awesome. But we need to be present when Life Events happen. I don't want to endure Life Events alone without my partner.
TLdr: My brother is getting married this Saturday. Natasha is not invited to the wedding. I am aware that my parents' viewpoint is shocking, outdated even for most Mormons, and just plain tacky. My partner comes first, and my parents' homophobia is ridiculous. I am going to the wedding to support my brother and his new love.
1) What mantra can I repeat to people to explain my mom's bad behavior?
2) How do we get through this?
3) Any advice for the future?
Thank you.
With DOMA Dead, LGBT-Inclusive Immigration Reform Becomes Moot Point
Sen. Patrick Leahy announced that he will not seek a vote on his immigration amendment that would have allowed married gay and lesbian Americans to sponsor their foreign-born spouse for citizenship.
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How do I get the girl?!
Help me navigate my way through dating in my twenties and escaping the perpetual friend zoning: lesbian edition. Long story with links to my dating profiles for critiquing. I've gone through most of the dating threads here on MeFi and have favorite'd every post I feel could apply to me, but I'd love to hear some advice that can be tailored for a twenty-something lesbian who is having a difficult time landing a long-term relationship. It's something knew I've always wanted as I am not hardwired for casual encounters/flings/short-term relationships. I like having a strong bond with someone and I maintain them with family and friends, though ideally I'd really love to have a girl I can call my own -- one I am physically, intellectually, and emotionally drawn to that I can take out and have fun with and have sex with regularly and everything is mutual. My standards are basic and realistic, and I am not a practitioner of settling.
My history: I've been in the dating scene for about 4 years now -- 2 of those years exclusively dating women and I have met up with a total of 9 at this point. They've all varied between non-starters, short-term flings, and one long-distance relationship (the latter crashing and burning as I'm certain she found someone else). What I find to be the most frustrating of all is that more often times than not, things end on their terms. I'm either sent to the friend zone after the first date or involved in a short-term fling that ends with, "I'm not looking for anything serious." I have enough experience now to know how to balance on that fine line between being eager and aloof, and I exhibit enough assertiveness to let a girl know that I am interested without being overbearing -- so, what gives? I do tend to fall hard and fast, but as I said, I find that balance. I'm also more of a go-getter because I feel like I wouldn't achieve what I want by simply waiting for it to fall on my lap. This is why I have no problem initiating first moves with girls. Every date I've had has been via online dating because I live so far from the gay scene in my area. Really, it's my only option, but it has proven to be a very frustrating medium because it's largely a numbers game and it's easier for people to have a grass-is-greener mentality. Hell, maybe I'm guilty of it, too, though I try not to be.
Those of you follow posts here closely may remember my previous threads, so by my own admission, yes, I'm young, immature, naive, and have a lot of growing up to do; I'm definitely still a work in progress. :) For those who don't, here is a link to both my PlentyOfFish and OKCupid profile just to get an idea of who I am. My writing accurately reflects how I am face to face; however, I can't help but wonder if there is something off-putting about me in person that I cannot pinpoint. Every girl I've taken out has been visibly entertained (busting up laughing, lots of witty banter exchanged), but first dates seem to be my expiration date. I'm still in school living at home, and I'm beginning to seriously wonder if that's turning these girls off.
In the past two months, I've met up with 3 girls. The first one told me she was getting more involved with someone else when I tried to arrange a second date, and her honesty was met with a graceful "wish you well" exit. The second awesome but it seems we've implicitly assumed that we will just be friends, and the third? I felt the strongest connection with her after maintaining daily contact. It takes a very particularly witty person to keep up with my dry humor and she wasn't like most girls who essentially feed into what I say. I loved that she was able to dish it and take it and I felt like I found a great catch, AND she's very pretty too boot! After talking since Tuesday, we met up on Saturday and I definitely felt the chemistry. She took a moment to tell me how much fun she was having with me but I noticed that after about two hours, she kind of ended the date abruptly by saying, "Wanna get out of here?". It was midnight after all, so I drove her home just a few blocks away, and gave her a farewell hug and a kiss. No text when I got home and nothing the following morning. So I thanked her for coming out, that I had fun, and that I was looking forward to next time. Her response was, "I had fun too :)!". Asked her how she felt that morning (sent at 11:30AM, she had a strong drink the night before), and I didn't get a reply until about 10PM.
Normally when I notice a dramatic decline in contact, my gut tells me their interest waned while my head makes "they're just busy today" excuses. From past experiences, my gut has NEVER failed me. When I tried to make another date for tomorrow, she said it sounded fun, and followed up with another text saying, "And I think it's more of a friends thing for me :\". Once again, I tried to handle it like a G with, "Bummer! Well, it was pleasant meeting you, and good luck with all your future endeavors! :)". While I'm sad, I appreciated the opportunity of cutting off quickly like a guillotine. I understand that these are merely first dates and they owe me absolutely nothing, but when I've friend-zoned someone, I've always sincerely admired them as a person and have been genuine about it by giving them enough time and space for feelings to dissipate, and often times one of us eventually reconnects and we maintain a real friendship. I really wish more people were this way, although at the same time, I can understand how awkward and uncomfortable it would feel for them. What I don't get is that a couple of these girls (during the dates) will ask me something or say something that implies that they're thinking there will be a next time with me. Girl #1 asked how far of a drive I am to a new city she may be relocating to for work while the last one (Girl #3) asked if the rules at my house are strict/lenient, and how my parents felt about me spending the night elsewhere. There is never any follow-through and I'm beginning to take words with a grain of salt.
It's gotten to the point that I can't cry about it anymore? all I do now is just laugh at how ridiculous my bad luck is. Even the most resilient would get jaded -- but at the same time, I refuse to allow things like this (what I think is beyond my control anyway) to embitter me. I feel like all I can do is have a sense of humor about it because at worst, they make for funny anecdotes. I've had guy friends tell me not to worry, and they tend to say things like, "Oh, you're too hot for her anyway." Well, thanks brah? but it still doesn't stop me from wanting her. :/
Maybe what I need is an attitude change. I want to be more easy-going about all this and be like all the cool people who don't get so bent out of shape over trivial matters like this. I want to be like those people who can enjoy dating for its own sake carefree. How do I stop over caring? And how do I go about getting the girl? I want that ending where we run hand in hand through a flower field to the chorus of "Happy Together" and walk off to the sunset with Phil Collins' "Against All Odds" as the song for the closing credits.
On an ending note, I'm beginning to feel this way: http://imgur.com/gallery/Q7Llv. :) Thank you for reading!
My history: I've been in the dating scene for about 4 years now -- 2 of those years exclusively dating women and I have met up with a total of 9 at this point. They've all varied between non-starters, short-term flings, and one long-distance relationship (the latter crashing and burning as I'm certain she found someone else). What I find to be the most frustrating of all is that more often times than not, things end on their terms. I'm either sent to the friend zone after the first date or involved in a short-term fling that ends with, "I'm not looking for anything serious." I have enough experience now to know how to balance on that fine line between being eager and aloof, and I exhibit enough assertiveness to let a girl know that I am interested without being overbearing -- so, what gives? I do tend to fall hard and fast, but as I said, I find that balance. I'm also more of a go-getter because I feel like I wouldn't achieve what I want by simply waiting for it to fall on my lap. This is why I have no problem initiating first moves with girls. Every date I've had has been via online dating because I live so far from the gay scene in my area. Really, it's my only option, but it has proven to be a very frustrating medium because it's largely a numbers game and it's easier for people to have a grass-is-greener mentality. Hell, maybe I'm guilty of it, too, though I try not to be.
Those of you follow posts here closely may remember my previous threads, so by my own admission, yes, I'm young, immature, naive, and have a lot of growing up to do; I'm definitely still a work in progress. :) For those who don't, here is a link to both my PlentyOfFish and OKCupid profile just to get an idea of who I am. My writing accurately reflects how I am face to face; however, I can't help but wonder if there is something off-putting about me in person that I cannot pinpoint. Every girl I've taken out has been visibly entertained (busting up laughing, lots of witty banter exchanged), but first dates seem to be my expiration date. I'm still in school living at home, and I'm beginning to seriously wonder if that's turning these girls off.
In the past two months, I've met up with 3 girls. The first one told me she was getting more involved with someone else when I tried to arrange a second date, and her honesty was met with a graceful "wish you well" exit. The second awesome but it seems we've implicitly assumed that we will just be friends, and the third? I felt the strongest connection with her after maintaining daily contact. It takes a very particularly witty person to keep up with my dry humor and she wasn't like most girls who essentially feed into what I say. I loved that she was able to dish it and take it and I felt like I found a great catch, AND she's very pretty too boot! After talking since Tuesday, we met up on Saturday and I definitely felt the chemistry. She took a moment to tell me how much fun she was having with me but I noticed that after about two hours, she kind of ended the date abruptly by saying, "Wanna get out of here?". It was midnight after all, so I drove her home just a few blocks away, and gave her a farewell hug and a kiss. No text when I got home and nothing the following morning. So I thanked her for coming out, that I had fun, and that I was looking forward to next time. Her response was, "I had fun too :)!". Asked her how she felt that morning (sent at 11:30AM, she had a strong drink the night before), and I didn't get a reply until about 10PM.
Normally when I notice a dramatic decline in contact, my gut tells me their interest waned while my head makes "they're just busy today" excuses. From past experiences, my gut has NEVER failed me. When I tried to make another date for tomorrow, she said it sounded fun, and followed up with another text saying, "And I think it's more of a friends thing for me :\". Once again, I tried to handle it like a G with, "Bummer! Well, it was pleasant meeting you, and good luck with all your future endeavors! :)". While I'm sad, I appreciated the opportunity of cutting off quickly like a guillotine. I understand that these are merely first dates and they owe me absolutely nothing, but when I've friend-zoned someone, I've always sincerely admired them as a person and have been genuine about it by giving them enough time and space for feelings to dissipate, and often times one of us eventually reconnects and we maintain a real friendship. I really wish more people were this way, although at the same time, I can understand how awkward and uncomfortable it would feel for them. What I don't get is that a couple of these girls (during the dates) will ask me something or say something that implies that they're thinking there will be a next time with me. Girl #1 asked how far of a drive I am to a new city she may be relocating to for work while the last one (Girl #3) asked if the rules at my house are strict/lenient, and how my parents felt about me spending the night elsewhere. There is never any follow-through and I'm beginning to take words with a grain of salt.
It's gotten to the point that I can't cry about it anymore? all I do now is just laugh at how ridiculous my bad luck is. Even the most resilient would get jaded -- but at the same time, I refuse to allow things like this (what I think is beyond my control anyway) to embitter me. I feel like all I can do is have a sense of humor about it because at worst, they make for funny anecdotes. I've had guy friends tell me not to worry, and they tend to say things like, "Oh, you're too hot for her anyway." Well, thanks brah? but it still doesn't stop me from wanting her. :/
Maybe what I need is an attitude change. I want to be more easy-going about all this and be like all the cool people who don't get so bent out of shape over trivial matters like this. I want to be like those people who can enjoy dating for its own sake carefree. How do I stop over caring? And how do I go about getting the girl? I want that ending where we run hand in hand through a flower field to the chorus of "Happy Together" and walk off to the sunset with Phil Collins' "Against All Odds" as the song for the closing credits.
On an ending note, I'm beginning to feel this way: http://imgur.com/gallery/Q7Llv. :) Thank you for reading!
Friday, June 28, 2013
US judge: ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ unconstitutional
LOS ANGELES (AP) – A federal judge said she will issue an order to halt the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, after she declared the ban on openly gay service members unconstitutional.
U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips ruled Thursday that the prohibition on openly gay service members was unconstitutional because it violates the First and Fifth Amendment rights of gays and lesbians.
The policy doesn’t help military readiness and instead has a “direct and deleterious effect” on the armed services by hurting recruitment efforts during wartime and requiring the discharge of service members who have critical skills and training, she said.
The Log Cabin Republicans sued the federal government in…
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U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips ruled Thursday that the prohibition on openly gay service members was unconstitutional because it violates the First and Fifth Amendment rights of gays and lesbians.
The policy doesn’t help military readiness and instead has a “direct and deleterious effect” on the armed services by hurting recruitment efforts during wartime and requiring the discharge of service members who have critical skills and training, she said.
The Log Cabin Republicans sued the federal government in…
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(32) Burn the Witch! (The Radical Show)
Sort of a Mini, A Plea for Manners, Not Radical Enough?, Soda, Witch Burnings, Banana Clips, Silje Nergaard
With DOMA Dead, LGBT-Inclusive Immigration Reform Becomes Moot Point
Sen. Patrick Leahy announced that he will not seek a vote on his immigration amendment that would have allowed married gay and lesbian Americans to sponsor their foreign-born spouse for citizenship.
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Turning Point Reached: We are winning faster than most of us thought possible
Opinion: When some of us say the LGBT movement has reached a turning point, others object. We are not finished, they say, confusing "turning point" for "end point." Of course we are not done. But to the extent equality is the goal, we are nearer the finish line than the start. Equality, however, is not everyone's goal. As the saying goes, some folks don't want a seat at the table, they want to turn the table over. These are not the violent anarchists of a century ago. Today's self-styled revolutionaries take the milder approach of crapping up city parks during ''occupy'' movement actions, protesting corporate sponsors of gay events, and picketing the Democratic National Convention. They engage in street theater while scorning the moral compromise of electoral work. Marriage equality and open military service were never priorities for the anti-assimilationists. Former National Gay and Lesbian Task Force leader Urvashi Vaid, in her 2012 book Irresistible Revolution, writes, "The LGBT movement has been coopted by the very institutions it once sought to transform." This elides the fact that most activists never shared her revolutionary stance. ... (more)
Lady Ga Ga Speaks her Mind
They asked her to boycott her shows in Arizona to protest SB1070. Instead, Lady Ga Ga activates the crowd. I love Lady Ga Ga.
Comments from the Web
Kenny Kardashian says:
I, too, served in the Navy and also swore the same oath, not really knowing what lay ahead. While for most people, being gay is dangerous I was lucky to experience minimal discrimination and teasing. However, I was not immune from such teasing. Everyone at my shore duty facility at Naval Air Staton North Island in San Diego knew I was gay and while I made a risky move, when people asked, I told. However, there was no one running to the officer in charge. Most the people that asked me said they were “cool with it”, or others simply just knew.
I am not the most butch guy in the world, but my feminine mannerisms and the way I was did catch the attention of some few people in leadership chain of command around me. They woul…
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I, too, served in the Navy and also swore the same oath, not really knowing what lay ahead. While for most people, being gay is dangerous I was lucky to experience minimal discrimination and teasing. However, I was not immune from such teasing. Everyone at my shore duty facility at Naval Air Staton North Island in San Diego knew I was gay and while I made a risky move, when people asked, I told. However, there was no one running to the officer in charge. Most the people that asked me said they were “cool with it”, or others simply just knew.
I am not the most butch guy in the world, but my feminine mannerisms and the way I was did catch the attention of some few people in leadership chain of command around me. They woul…
Read More
Community News
County wide show of equality for San Diego LGBT Pride’s Equality Torch Relay on October 10
Participants of San Diego LGBT Pride’s second annual Equality Torch Relay will simultaneously deliver the message of LGBT equality to all corners of San Diego County, from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Sunday, October 10. Team leaders and participants will carry banners and symbolic torches past dozens of landmarks and government buildings along routes that include San Diego city districts 1 through 8, as well as municipalities in East County, North County and South Bay.
The event culminates with a closing ceremony sponsored by VONS, from 1:30 to 3 p.m., the same day, in The Center’s auditorium, 3909 Centre St. It will feature live entertainment, free refres…
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Participants of San Diego LGBT Pride’s second annual Equality Torch Relay will simultaneously deliver the message of LGBT equality to all corners of San Diego County, from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Sunday, October 10. Team leaders and participants will carry banners and symbolic torches past dozens of landmarks and government buildings along routes that include San Diego city districts 1 through 8, as well as municipalities in East County, North County and South Bay.
The event culminates with a closing ceremony sponsored by VONS, from 1:30 to 3 p.m., the same day, in The Center’s auditorium, 3909 Centre St. It will feature live entertainment, free refres…
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Friday Abs
Just some gratuitous flesh in diesel underwear for Friday.
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Thursday, June 27, 2013
February 2012 - Life on the Road (and mostly my crib)
Hello hello! So here we are again. I started this special series of blog entries last month (Click here for Jan. 2012) and am happy to report that...well there is more to report. I have *words* to say about February which means the clock hasn't yet struck midnight on this little fairy tale I'm living.(My friend Adriana and I doin' a faux prom pic in the middle of a hotel in LA a few days ago. That's normal, right? Oh and although it definitely looks like it, she is NOT in love with me. Totally looks like it, though, doesn't it. Sheesh, no means no, lady!)Now don't get me wrong: the job I have (like I'm sure it is for most of you reading this) is a LOT of hard work. Truly. It's mentally and physically challenging and there are a VAGILLION moving parts and lots of high stakes gigs/days. But the good news is that I LOVE that sort of energy. I love high stakes. I love having a ton of responsibility and people looking to me for answers. I love still having so many questions, and being a sponge, soaking it all up each and every day. Cause I know one day I will be jaded. One day this will just be a J.O.B. I hope that doesn't happen for several decades and that when it DOES happen, I'm somewhere on a jetpack and it won't matter anyway:) So the point is, I don't take a minute of this for granted.And while January was chock full of gigs and jetsetting and ROBES (see link above), February was relatively quiet until the veeery end. I spent most of February in Houston working on a few things from home, watching Criminal Intent marathons, and gaining SO much weight all throughout and about my person. I also came across some old photo prints that I did years ago in a dark room and it really has me inspired to pursue photography more seriously than ever before.(My brother Alfred, hand printed)(This chick that used to work at my favorite restaurant in Dallas, Mother Mesquite's, hand printed)The last week in Feb, I got a call that we would have to fly to LA the very next day for a big CeeLo show in Hollywood. We spent a few days in rehearsal...(The band playing during rehearsals)...and I spent a few minutes staring at this sign that I came across...(No biggie, just where my wife Katharine Mcphee's mom teaches and coaches American Idol contestants and others, and where my wife got her chops back in the day. Yep. I was able to *go to there*.)SO, speeeeaking of women named after felines who I am married to, did you guys catch when my other wife Cat Deeley retweeted me in Feb? No? I'll show you:That was cool, right? Know whats even cooler? Days later when I find out that Cat Deeley not only has great taste in food, tweets, and Arlans, but she ALSO says yes to the best gigs. She HOSTED the show we did in Hollywood! Good thing I didn't realize this until the night before the show, or I'm pretty sure I would have hyperventilated days earlier and wouldn't have been able to make it to the show at all. All tolled, I spent about 6 hours in Ms. Deeley's tall, luxurious, babe-alicious presence, and I can tell you this: the woman is HOT, friendly, DAMN good at her job, and an overall pleasant individual to be around. Unfortunately I did not get to redeem myself and ask for her hand in marriage, because she's a lady and I'm a professional...aaand truth be told, anytime she'd look in my general direction, I'd giggle and turn into a bowl of jello. But next time, I'll be rock solid, my friends. ROCK. SOLID.(My view of part of soundcheck at Hollywood and Highland. New artist 'V' was preparing for her incredible duet with CeeLo. She sounded great!)You can see pics from the red carpet and the show itself HERE!So thats a wrap for February 2012. I now return you to your regularly scheduled Daily Lesbian Moment blog:) See you again a few days into April where hopefully there will be even more to report. Shenanigans, I tell you. Pure shenanigans!- (Click here for Jan. 2012 blog entry)
Kate McKinnon is ****ing Hilarious!
The comical genius Kate McKinnon is at it again--making us laugh our asses off. Recently, she was part of a skit about the BP oil spill (with the UBC Theater). The skit made its way to the Rachel Maddow Show. If you haven't seen it, you must! Go Kate! Keep on keeping on. We need humor in light of the unstoppable awfulness that is happening down south.
Conversations with Nicole
In past columns in the last few years I have written about the issue of Bullying in our schools many times…I hope and pray that now all Americans….especially our community has awoken to this crisis. In one of my past columns I wrote that if “only1/4” of the energy, money, time that has been spent on Marriage Equality and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was focused on GLBT suicides and bullying this issue would have gotten further…we must make our GLBT youth/students who are coming out every day at younger ages our community’s No. 1 PRIORITY!
Take a stand against School Bullying: October 17
San Diegans will be coming together on Sunday, October 17 to take a united stand against all bullying…this …
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Take a stand against School Bullying: October 17
San Diegans will be coming together on Sunday, October 17 to take a united stand against all bullying…this …
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Barney Frank now opposes executive order on workplace discrimination
President Barack Obama should hold off on signing an executive order that would mandate LGBT nondiscrimination policies for f -More-
Got Plans Tomorrow Night?
If so, cancel them and go see one amazing singer/songwriter: Christine Havrilla. She's not only a great friend, but we also recently collaborated on an original song for the short film Patty and I are doing. The song is called Hightail and you can buy it HERE.Havrilla will be at Mississippi Pizza's Atlantis Lounge tomorrow night from 6-8pm with special guests The Ragged Word.
Conversations with Nicole
Well I’ll be very busy next week…Stuart Milk (founder, Harvey Milk Foundation) is coming into town and so is Miguel Claudio Jimenez Vizcarra (Mexican Tequila Business Baron)…major announcements coming soon!
Heroes, Pioneers and Trailblazers;
2011 Honorees:
The Lambda Archives of San Diego will soon officially announce the 2011 Honorees of their prestigious “Heroes, Pioneers and Trailblazers” presentation and among the well deserved recipients are: AL BEST the first openly gay candidate to run for office in San Diego. GLORIA JOHNSON Ms. N.O.W. and Ms. Democrat of our community. BILL BECK, major charity, civil rights, AIDS, and political fundraiser. JENNIFER LE SAR community, civil leader and co-founder of GLBT Youth Housing…
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Heroes, Pioneers and Trailblazers;
2011 Honorees:
The Lambda Archives of San Diego will soon officially announce the 2011 Honorees of their prestigious “Heroes, Pioneers and Trailblazers” presentation and among the well deserved recipients are: AL BEST the first openly gay candidate to run for office in San Diego. GLORIA JOHNSON Ms. N.O.W. and Ms. Democrat of our community. BILL BECK, major charity, civil rights, AIDS, and political fundraiser. JENNIFER LE SAR community, civil leader and co-founder of GLBT Youth Housing…
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Give Us Your Marriage Questions!
What still doesn't make sense to you about the death of DOMA and Prop. 8?
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Wednesday, June 26, 2013
(59) Show Me Love DJ
Fantasies of the Sarah, Chat with Nikki re: Pimping Miss Universe, Anti-Relationship Relationship talk, Kim Kardashian’s curves, Jessica Simpson’s diet and more! http://www.thelesbianmafia.com Twitter www.twitter.com/thelesbianmafia Facebook search and add us! Myspace www.myspace.com/thelesbianmafiacast Lesbian Mafia Apparel: http://thelesbianmafia.spreadshirt.com LISTEN TO THE LESBIAN MAFIA ON YOUR PHONE! 651-925-1610 Leave a message on Voice Mail – 206-984-4093
21st ANNUAL AIDS WALK & RUN SAN DIEGO SET FOR SEPT. 26
San Diego’s Largest HIV/AIDS Fundraiser Will Take Place
in Balboa Park
WHAT: The 21st annual AIDS Walk & Run San Diego, the largest one-day HIV/AIDS fundraiser in San Diego County.
WHEN: Sun., Sept. 26
Registration begins at 6am; opening ceremonies at 7:30am
Walk steps off at 8:10am
WHERE: Balboa Park — step off is near Sixth Avenue and Quince
WHY: To raise awareness about the impact of HIV and AIDS, and to raise critically-needed funds for more than 20 San Diego County HIV/AIDS organizations that serve the more than 16,000 people living with the disease in San Diego County.
NOTE: Walkers and organizational spokespeople will be available on Sept. 26 from 6-9am at Sixth and Quince. To arrange advance or day-of-event coverage, plea…
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in Balboa Park
WHAT: The 21st annual AIDS Walk & Run San Diego, the largest one-day HIV/AIDS fundraiser in San Diego County.
WHEN: Sun., Sept. 26
Registration begins at 6am; opening ceremonies at 7:30am
Walk steps off at 8:10am
WHERE: Balboa Park — step off is near Sixth Avenue and Quince
WHY: To raise awareness about the impact of HIV and AIDS, and to raise critically-needed funds for more than 20 San Diego County HIV/AIDS organizations that serve the more than 16,000 people living with the disease in San Diego County.
NOTE: Walkers and organizational spokespeople will be available on Sept. 26 from 6-9am at Sixth and Quince. To arrange advance or day-of-event coverage, plea…
Read More
Innocent High School Romance or Predatory Sex Offender?
Kaitlyn Hunt is an 18-year-old Florida high school student, cheerleader and member of the basketball team. She met and fell in love with another girl on her team and the two started dating. No big deal, right? Well, it is as big deal because Kaitlyn is in love with a girl who is three years and seven months younger than her, and according to Florida law, their sexual relationship is a crime. Now the the 18-year-old honor student is facing felony sex crime charges and the possibility of having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life. She was arrested in February, but her family went public with her story this month because they believe they are the being persecuted because Kaitlyn is gay and her girlfriend's parents are opposed to homosexuality....Read Full Post
THEATER REVIEW: ?A Midsummer Night?s Dream? at The Old Globe | VIDEO
When Will Shakespeare wanted to write about dreams ? in, for example, ?A Midsummer Night?s Dream? ? he didn?t fool around. He took humans of all kinds ? from royals to young lovers to the blue-collar crowd ? and shoved them all into a forest, where strange sounds and sights are common.
He tossed in magical elements ? a potion from a flower that makes a sleeper fall in love with the first creature it sees on waking. Then he added a whole colony of forest creatures in the form of fairies, ruled by Fairy Queen Titania (Krystel Lucas) and her consort Oberon (Jay Whittaker).
?A Midsummer Night?s Dream? plays through Sept. 29 in repertory with ?The Merchant Of Venice? and ?Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead? at The Old Globe?s Lowell Davies Festival Theatre, 1363 Old Globe Way in Balboa Park.
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He tossed in magical elements ? a potion from a flower that makes a sleeper fall in love with the first creature it sees on waking. Then he added a whole colony of forest creatures in the form of fairies, ruled by Fairy Queen Titania (Krystel Lucas) and her consort Oberon (Jay Whittaker).
?A Midsummer Night?s Dream? plays through Sept. 29 in repertory with ?The Merchant Of Venice? and ?Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead? at The Old Globe?s Lowell Davies Festival Theatre, 1363 Old Globe Way in Balboa Park.
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(15B) Freestyle Friday Nostalgia Hour at SpiceNYC
lost a lot of sound quality when converted to mp3 but here goes … There’s A Party Going On – Nayobe You’ll Never Find Another Love - Take It While It’s Hot – Sweet Sensation Dancing On The Fire – India Give Me Back My Heart – Corina I Remember What You Like – Jenny [...]
HIV/AIDS and the Military After 28 Years
Randy Shilts very accurately described the early stages of the treatment of HIV/AIDS in the military in his ground breaking book And The Band Played On. In short he described a military that when faced with an epidemic that at the time was largely viewed as being a gay disease, against the odds, they chose the higher road. The military’s initial response while far from perfect, was among the most progressive at the time.
Among other things the military made the wise choice of letting medical fact rather than social stigma and fear guide their policy. They recognized early on that HIV was not transmitted through casual contact and therefor those who had contracted HIV were not a threat to their coworkers. That realization led to a sensible policy tha…
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Among other things the military made the wise choice of letting medical fact rather than social stigma and fear guide their policy. They recognized early on that HIV was not transmitted through casual contact and therefor those who had contracted HIV were not a threat to their coworkers. That realization led to a sensible policy tha…
Read More
THEATER REVIEW: ?John Ball?s In The Heat Of The Night?
Few of us remember the racist ?60s fondly, and the characters in ?John Ball?s In The Heat Of The Night? offer several reasons why.
?John Ball?s In The Heat Of The Night? plays through July 13 at ion theatre, 3704 Sixth Ave. in Hillcrest.
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?John Ball?s In The Heat Of The Night? plays through July 13 at ion theatre, 3704 Sixth Ave. in Hillcrest.
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Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Winter woof land
Thanks Chris for this photo from Electric Orange. Winter woofs!
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Elizabeth Hasselbeck Thinks Lesbians Just Can't Find a Man
Have you seen this clip? During a recent episode of The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck said that she thinks the reason lesbians come out later in life is because they just can't find a man. Check it out! What do you guys think?
(65) ?Outrage? Director Kirby Dick
Interview with prolific filmmaker Kirby Dick on his controversial movie Outrage, which outs closeted gay politicians who vote to pass anti-gay legislation. His film SICK (1997) won the Special Jury Prize at Sundance and the Grand Prize at the Los Angeles Film Festival. Dick also directed the controversial TWIST OF FAITH (2005), a film about [...]
Artist Richard Gibbons 'Confessions' opens July 19
Chicago—Through the paintings in his most personal exhibition to date, gay artist Richard Gibbons has found not only healing, "but ultimately acceptance that the Church is often a poor reflection of the true message of Jesus," according to a press release.
The perfect mix
DJ ELVEE spells it out
ELVEE, a San Diego native, is the resident DJ for girl’s night at Bourbon Street and has been there for six years. On Sunday nights you can find her in the DJ booth at the front right corner of the dance floor. With all the great music it is almost easy to forget that she is the catalyst that is helping you forget about your nine to five, suit and tie or blue and browns. I met with ELVEE recently at Bourbon Street and we seized an opportunity for a little Q and A.
GLT: What made you want to become a DJ?
LV: I actually fell into it through another DJ. A DJ named DJ Dallas who was very popular in the older community, and she still does work as a DJ. She was very instrumental as far as teaching me about my equipment and how to use the equipment to auto…
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ELVEE, a San Diego native, is the resident DJ for girl’s night at Bourbon Street and has been there for six years. On Sunday nights you can find her in the DJ booth at the front right corner of the dance floor. With all the great music it is almost easy to forget that she is the catalyst that is helping you forget about your nine to five, suit and tie or blue and browns. I met with ELVEE recently at Bourbon Street and we seized an opportunity for a little Q and A.
GLT: What made you want to become a DJ?
LV: I actually fell into it through another DJ. A DJ named DJ Dallas who was very popular in the older community, and she still does work as a DJ. She was very instrumental as far as teaching me about my equipment and how to use the equipment to auto…
Read More
Lesbian News - 17 Jun 2013
This Lesbian Superhero Wedding Cake is the Best Thing You?ll See TodayGay and lesbian sports hall of fame announces 1st inductees'Men to Kiss,' screened at 2012 Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, now out on DVDMamie Gummer to Play Lesbian Detective in CBS's 'Backstrom'Ben Rimalower's Patti Issues
Monday, June 24, 2013
Lesbian Texas teen makes heroic recovery after unresolved shootings
CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas ? A teenager who was shot in a brutal attack that claimed her girlfriend's life has learned to sit, walk and even smile again one year after the couple's assailant left them for dead in a quiet bayside park.
But Kristene Chapa, 19, is struggling in many ways with the enormity of what happened last June 23: While out with her girlfriend, Mollie Judith Olgin, a man with a gun forced the pair down a steep incline in the park, bound them and shot them in the head.
Teen shot in head heals, mourns her girlfriend?s murder.
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But Kristene Chapa, 19, is struggling in many ways with the enormity of what happened last June 23: While out with her girlfriend, Mollie Judith Olgin, a man with a gun forced the pair down a steep incline in the park, bound them and shot them in the head.
Teen shot in head heals, mourns her girlfriend?s murder.
read more
UPDATED: National Cathedral Sets SCOTUS-related Prayer Service: Whatever the outcome of DOMA and Prop. 8 cases, cathedral holding Wednesday solidarity event
News:
With focus on the Supreme Court’s upcoming release of opinions in two cases, one challenging the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the other challenging California’s Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage, the Very Rev. Gary Hall, dean of the Washington National Cathedral, said today that a related evening prayer service will be held Wednesday, June 26, at 7 p.m.
Prior to the service, Hall will be joined by various faith leaders who will speak in support of marriage equality at a press conference, to be held at 5 p.m. outside the cathedral’s main entrance on Wisconsin Avenue NW. Those faith leaders expected attend: the Rev. Dennis Wiley, pastor of Covenant Baptist United Church of Christ; Franci DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry; and the Rev. Dwayne Johnson, senior pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C.
“The freedom to marry the person you love is not only a Constitutional right. It’s a moral right,” Hall said in a statement. “As a straight man, my church and my government have given me those rights. Those of use from churches and synagogues and mosques are saying: our faith communities are ready to extend those rights to everyone. It’s time for government to do the same.”
Following the legalization of same-sex marriage in Maryland last year, with approval from the Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde, the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, the cathedral formally announced its decision to celebrate same-sex marriages, placing it on the liberal side of an ongoing struggle between various factions within the Episcopal Church, largely over social issues.
''Coming together as brothers and sisters, friends and allies, supporters of equal rights can draw strength from one another, be reminded of God's abiding love, and work through complex feelings about an issue of personal importance at the center of this national debate,'' read an earlier statement released by the cathedral announcing initial plans for this event to be held in July. ''As a long period of expectation continues, the Cathedral adds its hopes to yours for victories to come.''
[EDITOR'S NOTE: As originally posted, this story listed two possible dates for a similar event at the Washington National Cathedral, July 1 and 3. Those originally announced plans have been amended in favor of the June 26 event.]
...more
With focus on the Supreme Court’s upcoming release of opinions in two cases, one challenging the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the other challenging California’s Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage, the Very Rev. Gary Hall, dean of the Washington National Cathedral, said today that a related evening prayer service will be held Wednesday, June 26, at 7 p.m.
Prior to the service, Hall will be joined by various faith leaders who will speak in support of marriage equality at a press conference, to be held at 5 p.m. outside the cathedral’s main entrance on Wisconsin Avenue NW. Those faith leaders expected attend: the Rev. Dennis Wiley, pastor of Covenant Baptist United Church of Christ; Franci DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry; and the Rev. Dwayne Johnson, senior pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C.
“The freedom to marry the person you love is not only a Constitutional right. It’s a moral right,” Hall said in a statement. “As a straight man, my church and my government have given me those rights. Those of use from churches and synagogues and mosques are saying: our faith communities are ready to extend those rights to everyone. It’s time for government to do the same.”
Following the legalization of same-sex marriage in Maryland last year, with approval from the Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde, the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, the cathedral formally announced its decision to celebrate same-sex marriages, placing it on the liberal side of an ongoing struggle between various factions within the Episcopal Church, largely over social issues.
''Coming together as brothers and sisters, friends and allies, supporters of equal rights can draw strength from one another, be reminded of God's abiding love, and work through complex feelings about an issue of personal importance at the center of this national debate,'' read an earlier statement released by the cathedral announcing initial plans for this event to be held in July. ''As a long period of expectation continues, the Cathedral adds its hopes to yours for victories to come.''
[EDITOR'S NOTE: As originally posted, this story listed two possible dates for a similar event at the Washington National Cathedral, July 1 and 3. Those originally announced plans have been amended in favor of the June 26 event.]
...more
Welcoming Churches host Pride service
Kevin Tindell, at left, speaks to a group gathered for the Chicago Coalition of Welcoming Churches Ecumenical Pride Worship 2013, Draw the Circle Wide, at First UMC Chicago Temple June 23. The event paid special tribute to Rev. Greg Dell, who could not attend due to his ongoing health issues.
The Supreme Court Will Return at 10 A.M. Tomorrow
The wait continues on two marriage equality cases argued before the Supreme Court in March.
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Real Estate News
Lorie Zapf follow up
Last Friday, our community got some good news from the San Diego Association of Realtors (SDAR) which decided to suspend its endorsement of Lorie Zapf for City Council. Zapf failed to disclose a number of crippling personal details including her open gay-hatred and her operation of a short sale scam with husband Eric. Zapf is now forced to remove the Realtor thumbs-up from all campaign material and won’t have access to the organization’s PAC funds. Thanks to all who took a moment to contact SDAR, both as Realtors and as clients. Your direct involvement helped immensely. Professional credit is owed to SD City Beat’s Dave Maass and Realtor Pat Flannery from blogofsandiego.com.
Before we uncork the Prosecco in victory, let me offer a more dir…
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Last Friday, our community got some good news from the San Diego Association of Realtors (SDAR) which decided to suspend its endorsement of Lorie Zapf for City Council. Zapf failed to disclose a number of crippling personal details including her open gay-hatred and her operation of a short sale scam with husband Eric. Zapf is now forced to remove the Realtor thumbs-up from all campaign material and won’t have access to the organization’s PAC funds. Thanks to all who took a moment to contact SDAR, both as Realtors and as clients. Your direct involvement helped immensely. Professional credit is owed to SD City Beat’s Dave Maass and Realtor Pat Flannery from blogofsandiego.com.
Before we uncork the Prosecco in victory, let me offer a more dir…
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Playing my part in making life for fellow LGBT countryfolk bearable.
The State-sanctioned homophobia and transphobia in Malaysia, my country of origin, is breaking my heart. What can I do as a currently overseas citizen to make things better for my fellow LGBT folk back in Malaysia, particularly in raising awareness of the issue internationally? I left Malaysia for various reasons, but one core reason was escaping the various persecutions and micro/macro-aggressions I felt for who I am. Most of this has to do with race (my parents are Bangladeshi migrants) and citizenship/residency, but I also felt that I wouldn't be safe exploring my sexuality in a country that so deeply vilifies sexuality that "sexy" is a slur and politicians get run out of Parliament for what they wear (or don't) in their sleep. It took me until I had been in Australia for a few years that I felt safe and able to explore my sexuality and gender without having to look behind my back to see if I will get screwed over by the Malaysian Government. I have had friends and acquaintances who cannot go back to Malaysia because they will face persecution, and one person whose Government scholarship was revoked and who was forced to come back home because her ex outed her as a trans woman.
I am trying to get the word out about the situation in Malaysia, especially this ridiculous propaganda musical, but I am facing a few roadblocks:
1. I am overseas and am not likely to return to Malaysia anytime soon, so my ability to organise something back home is limited. If I did try to do something in Malaysia, I'd be dismissed as a "foreign Zionist agent" of some fashion.
2. Incorporated into the musical is a plot point about how LGBT people who protest are being paid a handsome sum by the Opposition party and are merely reacting against the advice of "reasonable Malay Muslims". This makes any show of protest difficult to be taken seriously - especially when the main sexuality rights event in the country gets shut down for "threatening to disrupt public order" - pretty much the main excuse for arresting any protestor ever.
3. I am trying to get the word out in the Bay Area (where I live right now), especially with the Queer People of Color circles I am heavily involved with. Not many people have really picked up on this though - most people get stuck on "a musical about anti-gay sentiment! ISN'T THAT IRONIC" and don't move on from there. Also it seems that Malaysia doesn't quite have the White/Western Savior Cred of places like Uganda or India, where people seem to care more about LGBT issues there.
4. Even when there are people that DO care, I'm at a loss for what they could do. Petitions are pointless, because the Malaysian Government isn't going to pay attention (the whole paid-by-the-Opposition thing). International attention would be handy, but then it becomes "Foreign Zionist Agents". Tying this in to the United Nations may be useful, but I'm sure there will be a stack of countries who will take Malaysia's side.
5. People often bring up voting, but Malaysia has arcane voting laws that make it near impossible for overseas residents to vote. I technically am allowed to vote overseas because I'm an international student (one of the few classes of overseas residents allowed to vote), but I have to register in Malaysia first - not overseas. Gah! (Besides, it's not like there is anyone to vote for in my district that isn't Ruling Party, and there's a lot of electoral fraud.)
I want Malaysians to see that the so-called deviants are people like everyone else, diverse and unique and part of their community, and not a danger or scrounge to society. My current idea is to organise a performance of monologues, ala Yoni ki Baat (semi self link) or The Vagina Monologues, about Malaysians dealing with the stigmatization of sexuality. Not just in terms of being LGBT, but also slut-shaming, ageism against young people, and misogyny - one does not have to do much to be branded a sexual deviant in Malaysia. I have been and am currently involved in these sorts of This requires being back in Malaysia for a substantial amount of time, which I am not able to do right now. I'm also reminded of how the Vagina Monologues are banned in Malaysia and how anything of this nature would have to be underground...which then leads to the issue of preaching to the choir, the people who already know that LGBT people are not evil...rather than the people who will be affected by this propaganda. Something along the lines of the Pussy Riot worldwide protests would be awesome, but I'm not sure how to get people to care.
Any ideas of what I can do to get international support? I'm reaching out super slowly, one person at a time, but I really don't want Malaysia to get away with it and continue being an unsafe hostile space for people like me.
I am trying to get the word out about the situation in Malaysia, especially this ridiculous propaganda musical, but I am facing a few roadblocks:
1. I am overseas and am not likely to return to Malaysia anytime soon, so my ability to organise something back home is limited. If I did try to do something in Malaysia, I'd be dismissed as a "foreign Zionist agent" of some fashion.
2. Incorporated into the musical is a plot point about how LGBT people who protest are being paid a handsome sum by the Opposition party and are merely reacting against the advice of "reasonable Malay Muslims". This makes any show of protest difficult to be taken seriously - especially when the main sexuality rights event in the country gets shut down for "threatening to disrupt public order" - pretty much the main excuse for arresting any protestor ever.
3. I am trying to get the word out in the Bay Area (where I live right now), especially with the Queer People of Color circles I am heavily involved with. Not many people have really picked up on this though - most people get stuck on "a musical about anti-gay sentiment! ISN'T THAT IRONIC" and don't move on from there. Also it seems that Malaysia doesn't quite have the White/Western Savior Cred of places like Uganda or India, where people seem to care more about LGBT issues there.
4. Even when there are people that DO care, I'm at a loss for what they could do. Petitions are pointless, because the Malaysian Government isn't going to pay attention (the whole paid-by-the-Opposition thing). International attention would be handy, but then it becomes "Foreign Zionist Agents". Tying this in to the United Nations may be useful, but I'm sure there will be a stack of countries who will take Malaysia's side.
5. People often bring up voting, but Malaysia has arcane voting laws that make it near impossible for overseas residents to vote. I technically am allowed to vote overseas because I'm an international student (one of the few classes of overseas residents allowed to vote), but I have to register in Malaysia first - not overseas. Gah! (Besides, it's not like there is anyone to vote for in my district that isn't Ruling Party, and there's a lot of electoral fraud.)
I want Malaysians to see that the so-called deviants are people like everyone else, diverse and unique and part of their community, and not a danger or scrounge to society. My current idea is to organise a performance of monologues, ala Yoni ki Baat (semi self link) or The Vagina Monologues, about Malaysians dealing with the stigmatization of sexuality. Not just in terms of being LGBT, but also slut-shaming, ageism against young people, and misogyny - one does not have to do much to be branded a sexual deviant in Malaysia. I have been and am currently involved in these sorts of This requires being back in Malaysia for a substantial amount of time, which I am not able to do right now. I'm also reminded of how the Vagina Monologues are banned in Malaysia and how anything of this nature would have to be underground...which then leads to the issue of preaching to the choir, the people who already know that LGBT people are not evil...rather than the people who will be affected by this propaganda. Something along the lines of the Pussy Riot worldwide protests would be awesome, but I'm not sure how to get people to care.
Any ideas of what I can do to get international support? I'm reaching out super slowly, one person at a time, but I really don't want Malaysia to get away with it and continue being an unsafe hostile space for people like me.
Guest Post: Trans In The Media - A Call To Elevate The Conversation
Janet Mock, a People.com associate editor, has critiqued media coverage of trans people in her Fish Food For Thought essay Trans In The Media: A Call To Elevate The Conversation. This is her essay, and it's crossposted here with permission.
By Janet Mock
When I told my transition story in Marie Claire, I led with my adolescent journey of having genital reassignment surgery, a quest that took me from my hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii, across the Pacific Ocean to Bangkok, Thailand, at 18 years old.
Going public with my story, I was acutely aware that I unconsciously gave people permission to ask about what lied or did not lie in between my legs. I gave the world an opportunity to ask after the most personal things in my life. I think this is what any person revealing themselves publicly as trans inherently does whether they like it or not: they sacrifice their anonymity and privacy to hopefully increase visibility and awareness.
Recently, I read a Tweet from Laverne Cox, reality television producer and actress, that she'd be on The Joy Behar Show with Chaz Bono of the Emmy-nominated documentary Becoming Chaz, Harmony Santana, star of Gun Hill Road, and America's Next Top Model Isis King. I was elated, as this appeared to be a groundbreaking panel not only with Trans folks, but moderated by CNN host Don Lemon, a newly out gay man of color.
On Monday night, I set my DVR, told my boyfriend Aaron to keep quiet, and stayed up past my bedtime to only be dumbfounded by the interview, where Lemon asked Bono some pretty inane questions. The CNN anchor, who was leading the conversation in Behar's absence, seemed to have unknowingly communicated his own insensitivity to trans folks' struggle when he asked Bono the most insensitive of his slew of questions:
I have to ask you this: I look at you, I see you on television, you're a dude now, you have facial hair and everything to go along with it. I mean do you like that? Is it cool?
Asking Bono, who has bravely transitioned under the media's glare, therefore helping bring the trans conversation to the masses, about his facial hair (a prideful marker of his masculinity and manhood), is as offensive as a reporter being astonished by Lemon's own masculinity as a newly out gay man. Or even as offensive as a non-Black reporter being astonished by Lemon's articulateness during an interview.
"Is that something that you have to get used to though?" Lemon pressed. "Do you have to get used to shaving cause you didn't have to shave before - and all of a sudden you're a grown man and you have to shave?"
Then it just got worse...
"Even I do, as a gay man, I have trouble, sometimes when I talk about you...I get the hes and the shes mixed up. Is that a big deal for people who are in transition?"
I caught myself yelling "WTF?" at the screen more than thrice in a matter of minutes. I had regretted subjecting myself to this. I then took my frustration to Twitter: "These questions @donlemoncnn are [asking] @Chazbono are symbolic of how #trans people are often seen as oddities - even by LGB people."
[More below the fold.] Lemon's questions, which could have been attributed to the show's producers, reminded me of something Jennifer Aniston eloquently said in Vanity Fair in 2005 about Brad Pitt when he began globetrotting with Angelina Jolie and her son Maddox just weeks after announcing the end of their marriage: "There is a sensitivity chip that's missing."
And that's what I felt when I watched Lemon, who may have been in over his head with four compelling subjects and not enough time to actually target questions beyond Bono's facial hair, new shaving regimen, his relationship with Cher and other "Trans 101" issues as Bono so eloquently pointed out.
"I thought we were here to talk about trans people in Hollywood," Bono said after Lemon introduced Cox, King and Santana to the panel. "We've got three unbelievably talented women up there and we're talking about transgender 101 here."
"Not everyone is as informed as the people on this panel," Lemon said in response. But that wasn't the issue in my opinion. It's not about the American people; it's about preparation, sensitivity and a proper, fuller, vibrant portrait of what it means to be trans. You can't have four dynamic trans figures on your panel and not fully tell their varying stories and journeys.
And by putting Lemon at the helm, producers may have made a glaring assumption: Just because Don Lemon is an African-American gay man does not mean he has the tools, sensitivity and objectivity to wholly report on the trans community without his own inherent transphobia and male/socioeconomic privilege getting in the way.
I don't know Lemon or the producers of the show, but I do know as a journalist you must check your own privileges, bias and perspective at the door. And when you don't do your homework, you end up with a lackluster story, and that was what Monday night's segment on being "Transgender in America" (that was The Joy Behar Show's producers tagline) was in my opinion. I applaud HLN and Lemon for this groundbreaking trans panel, but we as journalists have to do better.
And I wasn't the only trans person upset about Lemon's line of questioning. Jenn Burleton, executive director of TransActive Education and Advocacy, a Portland-based non-profit which supports trans youth, Tweeted of the interview: "Don L. interview w/ Chaz B. What a bunch of stupid, exploitative, leering, stereotyping questions. He may be gay, but he doesn't get it."
And that's the bigger issue here: Lemon symbolizes many of our gay brothers and lesbian sisters, who just don't get us trans people. We inherently shake their own notions of what it means to be a man and a woman in our society to their core. Until we are able to actually be open to the gender-variancy that is in nature, naturally, we'll never be able to move forward and not only demand gay and lesbian rights, but transgender rights; civil human rights.
As a journalist, I'll identify the gaping holes in the producers' and Lemon's line of questioning. There were many issues that I, as a journalist, would have had Lemon ask this "inspiring transgender panel":
To Laverne Cox, who is a busy actress and produces television shows which she hopes "changes the hearts and minds of the general public around transgender issues": How have you gone about seeking and creating roles for yourself in Hollywood? How have you funded projects about transgender people?
To America's Next Top Model Isis King, who's returning to the 17th cycle of ANTM in September: How does it feel to return to the show that helped bring a transgender woman into African-American homes? I hear you were once homeless, how have you been able to persevere past your circumstance?
To Chaz Bono, who has three Emmy nominations for his documentary: Instead of "When were you defined as a man?" Lemon could've asked, How does it feel, after years of searching and struggling, to finally be who you are fully? And how does it feel to have three Emmy nominations? How are you using your celebrity to continue this conversation?
To Harmony Santana, who revealed that she's living in the Green Chimneys homeless shelter while being a star of a lauded film: What do you want to say to inspire LGBT kids who have dreams but no homes?
Instead when Santana revealed her plight of not having a home, Lemon said, "Interesting." He should have said, I find it interesting that you have this inspirational story of starring in a film but no home of your own and that you represent the 40 percent of homeless youth who identify as LGBT.
That's how we teach and pull at the heart strings of America, by using someone's story to shed light on the plight of what it means to be different, to be oppressed, to live in a world that doesn't quite understand you. Our jobs as journalists and writers and editors and news reporters and anchors is to shed light on how we are failing young people like Santana.
When it seemed the door in the conversation had opened to shed light on trans people's struggles, Lemon would say, "We're going to have an in-depth conversation..." about this or that and segue to another topic about Bono's transition, which seemed to irritate me and the famous interview subject.
"I was a little frustrated on the Joy Behar show last night," Bono Tweeted of the interview, where it appeared that he was the bad guy for calling out Lemon's inane line of questions. "I was told we'd talk about trans people in entertainment industry. But such is life."
We can't continue having the same conversations about trans people with a revolving door of new trans figures. We are not entertainment and our stories aren't just for mere consumption. We must ask the hard questions beyond surgery and facial hair and ask how are they really doing now that they are in the bodies of their destinies? How are they navigating in the world?
We need to see trans men and women as just that - men and women who want and desire and love and seek and thrive and yes, fall. And when they fall we must ask ourselves if we care. Do you care? And how are we failing them?
"When they see us on television and see us in films, it makes a difference," Cox said during the interview. But seeing and hearing us is essential to actually making a difference. America needs to hear our stories and feel our plight.
Why wasn't the fact that two trans women of color on the panel (King and Santana) have been homeless explored in this conversation? As a woman of color, I was shocked that Lemon, an African-American man, didn't use the show as a teaching moment, to shed light on the fact that 40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT.
The trans portrait Lemon and the producers of The Joy Behar Show presented wasn't even a sketch. It was a mere doodle as to what it means to be an oppressed group that apparently has no place in - or out - of the LGB community.
So where is our place? There's a question that's better than "do you have to get used to shaving" your stubble.
Janet Mock is a writer and a journalist, a daughter and a girlfriend, a believer in happily ever after and a vintage shopping enthusiast. She's also a woman of transsexual experience.
Janet works as an Associate Editor for PEOPLE.com. Outside the cubicle, Janet weaves her daily A-ha! moments into stories on her blog Fish Food For Thought -- named after her forthcoming book Fish Food: A Memoir, about her adolescent journey through genders in high school. Living in New York City, Janet has a BS from the University of Hawaii at Manoa and an MA from New York University.
Get in touch with Janet Mock at her website janetmock.com.
(32) Burn the Witch! (The Radical Show)
Sort of a Mini, A Plea for Manners, Not Radical Enough?, Soda, Witch Burnings, Banana Clips, Silje Nergaard
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Want to take over?
Yo,
This site has been severely neglected - as we’ve all moved on to other things. But, maybe one of you want to take it over?
The domain has just entered GoDaddy auctions, and if any readers are interested in more than the domain, holla and we can chat about passing on the reigns.�
This site has been severely neglected - as we’ve all moved on to other things. But, maybe one of you want to take it over?
The domain has just entered GoDaddy auctions, and if any readers are interested in more than the domain, holla and we can chat about passing on the reigns.�
Community News
Women honored for their contributions
San Diego Woman’s Club hosts dinner benefiting women at risk
Many local women in San Diego work tirelessly to make the city a better community for all. The San Diego Woman’s Club will recognize the efforts of one special woman by hosting a benefit dinner in her honor. The honoree for the evening is Sister Christina MacLean, Director of Mary’s House which is a home for victims of human trafficking.
The proceeds for the evening will benefit Women at Risk, International (WAR, Int’l). WAR was established in 2006 and currently has representation in 16 states and projects in 14 different countries around the world. The purpose behind WAR is to unite and educate women as well as children in areas of …
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San Diego Woman’s Club hosts dinner benefiting women at risk
Many local women in San Diego work tirelessly to make the city a better community for all. The San Diego Woman’s Club will recognize the efforts of one special woman by hosting a benefit dinner in her honor. The honoree for the evening is Sister Christina MacLean, Director of Mary’s House which is a home for victims of human trafficking.
The proceeds for the evening will benefit Women at Risk, International (WAR, Int’l). WAR was established in 2006 and currently has representation in 16 states and projects in 14 different countries around the world. The purpose behind WAR is to unite and educate women as well as children in areas of …
Read More
New Flower Service
As workmen begin installing the flowers for the Prince William and Catherine Middleton's Royal wedding, uur friends at The Garden Party Flower Service launched a new Flower Service today at http://www.thegardenparty.co.uk/ Head over and take a look.
Image by shannonpatrick17 via Flickr
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Image by shannonpatrick17 via Flickr
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
See Rochelle, She's MY Boo!
So you know that pic I posted this weekend of me meeting the AMAZING Whoopi Goldberg and me looking like someone just punched me in the face and stole my bike? THAT is EXACTLY how my face looks right now watching what I just found on youtube:LOL what?? ...and then also, what. PLEASE do yourself a favor and watch the entire 2 minutes and 4 seconds cause it will change your life.
Oy Vey My Son is Gay Fundraiser
OY VEY MY SON IS GAY!
Dear Friends please help us to bring this great, sweet, funny movie with important message of our days! Please go to www.oyveymovie.com
and contribute any amount that will not hurt your pocket, but will
make you feel good about becoming a part of something important for the
betterment of our society! Or choose the perk and get a great present,
which will remind you, on your act done by you for a good cause! Thank
you in advance!
At a time when many nations throughout the world
are experiencing challenging and troubling times, we feel that people
need to laugh, to feel inspired, and to realize that only through
acceptance and tolerance can we move forward in creating a better world
in which to live.
They often say that in a movie ?the title says
it all,? but that is not exactly true ? this movie is about love,
tolerance and acceptance in the family. Where old traditions meets
modern romance. It doesn?t matter whom your son is dating: a girl with
different color skin or mentality, a boy with a different ethnicity or
religion, maybe someone with Cancer or HIV; we are all human beings and
we are all equal! Behind the million of jokes in our movie and through
the midst of the stereotypes that are still among us today, the true
premise of love and acceptance is revealed in Oy Vey! My Son is Gay!
Most
of the movies on INDIEGOGO are just beginning their development. "Oy
Vey! My Son Is Gay!!" is a completed movie, ready to be launched in
movie theaters to reach a wider audience! ( www.oyveymovie.com )
So
take a break from your stressful life, and help us to spread the word
and bring more fun and joy into people?s hearts! Fill them with
unconditional love for each other, and at the same time enjoy this
hilarious family movie! Together we can change our society without any
fighting, pushing and yelling; simply through the great message hidden
behind the laugher of our amazing cast!
Your support is extremely
appreciated. Every dollar can make a difference! One of a kind rewards
are waiting for you! Thank you in advance for your contribution! www.oyveymovie.com
Dear Friends please help us to bring this great, sweet, funny movie with important message of our days! Please go to www.oyveymovie.com
and contribute any amount that will not hurt your pocket, but will
make you feel good about becoming a part of something important for the
betterment of our society! Or choose the perk and get a great present,
which will remind you, on your act done by you for a good cause! Thank
you in advance!
At a time when many nations throughout the world
are experiencing challenging and troubling times, we feel that people
need to laugh, to feel inspired, and to realize that only through
acceptance and tolerance can we move forward in creating a better world
in which to live.
They often say that in a movie ?the title says
it all,? but that is not exactly true ? this movie is about love,
tolerance and acceptance in the family. Where old traditions meets
modern romance. It doesn?t matter whom your son is dating: a girl with
different color skin or mentality, a boy with a different ethnicity or
religion, maybe someone with Cancer or HIV; we are all human beings and
we are all equal! Behind the million of jokes in our movie and through
the midst of the stereotypes that are still among us today, the true
premise of love and acceptance is revealed in Oy Vey! My Son is Gay!
Most
of the movies on INDIEGOGO are just beginning their development. "Oy
Vey! My Son Is Gay!!" is a completed movie, ready to be launched in
movie theaters to reach a wider audience! ( www.oyveymovie.com )
So
take a break from your stressful life, and help us to spread the word
and bring more fun and joy into people?s hearts! Fill them with
unconditional love for each other, and at the same time enjoy this
hilarious family movie! Together we can change our society without any
fighting, pushing and yelling; simply through the great message hidden
behind the laugher of our amazing cast!
Your support is extremely
appreciated. Every dollar can make a difference! One of a kind rewards
are waiting for you! Thank you in advance for your contribution! www.oyveymovie.com
Ain't No Crying the Blues: In the Memory of Howlin' Wolf
Playwright: Jackie Taylor. At: Black Ensemble Theater, 4450 N. Clark St. Tickets: 773-769-4451; www.blackensemble.org; $55-$65. Runs through: Aug. 11
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Billy Masters
"I've had a lot of men come into my life as father figures. I'd fall in love with them and then they're just gone."—Brandon, a 26-year-old painting contractor from Costa Mesa, sobs this confession on The Bachelorette. Although he's talking about having a single mom who dated a variety of men, something tells me he's had first-hand experience with many men who came and went out of his life.
Just In Time For The Summer Wedding Season
Leave it to Saturday Night Live to come up with a fun way to spoof gay and lesbian weddings!As only they can do it: Xanax For Gay Weddings
San Diego Drag Kings Ten Year Celebration
Lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual or straight, no one can deny that the event this Sunday evening at the Flame will definitely be worth attending. The San Diego drag kings will be celebrating their ten year anniversary and everyone is welcome. Favorite faces from the past such as the popular Tommy Salami, Jonny O and Randy Shaft will be traveling to San Diego to perform in this event. The event will also be hosted by some familiar and local drag members. Local members will perform new numbers and include old favorites, which we have not had the opportunity to enjoy for a while. Some of these performances will be hosted by Rudy Ramrod, James Bondage, Drake Bottoms, Trouble, Dragon, Whiskey and Smokey. Drag queen, Regina Styles (Richard Poole), who they ende…
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Run don’t walk…
Like most things that weigh heavily in our community and lives, from our civil rights and freedoms to our many other struggles, HIV has been at the forefront. HIV infection and reduction and making those who are HIV positive or living with AIDS more comfortable and fulfilled has been a huge priority for all of us. For those of us who have lost someone to this disease it is much more personal and AIDS Walk and other related events are a way to remember and show our commitment to those we loved. For others who know someone who is living with HIV or AIDS it is an opportunity to do something about it and show love and support for our brothers and sisters. For everyone it is a way to show support, tolerance and compassion.
Whatever the motivation or experience …
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Whatever the motivation or experience …
Read More
(11) Idiocy Abound and Professions of Love for MJ
Voicemails from Cindy, Hairy Hedges, Sick Vick, Hicoughs, Ay Bay Bay, Fartisodes, Professions of Love for Mistress Juliya, Orbit Bubble Gum, What Is Dirty Armenian Sex?, Curve Girls …
DA to look into suicide of bullied teen Asher Brown
HOUSTON (AP) – Prosecutors said Friday they will look into what led to the suicide of a 13-year-old Houston boy whose parents say was relentlessly bullied at his middle school for two years because of his religion and sexual orientation.
Asher Brown’s parents, who claim school officials ignored their pleas for help, said they hope “justice will be served” by the investigation by the Harris County District Attorney’s Office.
“Once they find out what’s been hidden, we would want the people responsible to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law,” said Asher’s stepfather, David Truong.
Asher shot himself in the head with his stepfather’s handgun on Sept. 23 at his family’s home.
Truong sa…
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Asher Brown’s parents, who claim school officials ignored their pleas for help, said they hope “justice will be served” by the investigation by the Harris County District Attorney’s Office.
“Once they find out what’s been hidden, we would want the people responsible to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law,” said Asher’s stepfather, David Truong.
Asher shot himself in the head with his stepfather’s handgun on Sept. 23 at his family’s home.
Truong sa…
Read More
Pride Shabbat June 28
Temple Sholom's LGBT affiliate group, Am Keshet Hebrew for "People of the Rainbow", will host a Pride Shabbat service Friday, June 28, at the temple, 3480 N. Lake Shore Dr. A wine-and-cheese reception will start at 5:45 p.m., with the service beginning at 6:15 p.m.
Friday, June 21, 2013
You are not a bad person for wanting to break up, and neither is he.
Any resources for healing after a breakup when you're the one that initiated it? And that doesn't demonise either party? After six years my partner and I are now just friends. It was necessary and a long time coming: we still care for each other a great deal but the relationship as it stands wasn't sustainable anymore. We'd still like to be friends, he's practically family to me anyway, but understandably things are still awkward and raw right now (it's been less than a week).
I'm trying to find resources for healing and support, but so much of it runs along the lines of "that bastard doesn't know what they're missing!". Even the ones that are slightly more sympathetic to the initiator are very "well that person was an asshole anyway" - which, NO. He is not a bad person and neither am I. We have both been very good for each other. It just wasn't working out healthily for both of us. It doesn't help that a few other friends have been dumped around the same time, and a lot of what they report the *other party* saying is stuff I relate to...and I haven't the heart to say `well I can see where they are coming from` because they're obviously hurting.
My special snowflake guilt was that a large part of the breakup was because last year I came out to myself and him as more interested in girls than I thought I was (I'd known I was queer for ages and so did he, but some incidences made me realise that I tend to like girls *exclusively*). But because we still loved and cared for each other as companions, and had an open relationship that was working really well for a while, we figured we'd give it a shot. But it wasn't working. I felt like the breakup was the only way for me to be honest and authentic with myself - but sometimes I wonder what is the point of authenticity when it only hurts the ones that already love you as you are?
I'm trying to find resources for healing and support, but so much of it runs along the lines of "that bastard doesn't know what they're missing!". Even the ones that are slightly more sympathetic to the initiator are very "well that person was an asshole anyway" - which, NO. He is not a bad person and neither am I. We have both been very good for each other. It just wasn't working out healthily for both of us. It doesn't help that a few other friends have been dumped around the same time, and a lot of what they report the *other party* saying is stuff I relate to...and I haven't the heart to say `well I can see where they are coming from` because they're obviously hurting.
My special snowflake guilt was that a large part of the breakup was because last year I came out to myself and him as more interested in girls than I thought I was (I'd known I was queer for ages and so did he, but some incidences made me realise that I tend to like girls *exclusively*). But because we still loved and cared for each other as companions, and had an open relationship that was working really well for a while, we figured we'd give it a shot. But it wasn't working. I felt like the breakup was the only way for me to be honest and authentic with myself - but sometimes I wonder what is the point of authenticity when it only hurts the ones that already love you as you are?
WATCH: Film Documents Mormon Family's Journey to Accept Gay Son
Families Are Forever, screening Saturday in San Francisco, chronicles one family's evolution.
read more
read more
Haunting Electronica: John Grant's sophisticated sound draws from eclectic influences
Music:
Last year Sinead O'Connor released a cover version of a John Grant song. But that was only the start of O'Connor singing Grant's praises. O'Connor persuaded the up-and-coming artist to let her handle backing vocals on his new album, the eclectic and sophisticated Pale Green Ghosts. The usually commanding Irish pop star holds back, so that she's mostly just haunting the folk/electronica tunes here.
''We just really hit it off and became good friends,'' Grant explains. The two artists have bonded so well the liner notes credit backing vocals to ''Sinead O'Connor (Mrs. John Grant).'' That's ''just a little joke,'' Grant responds -- a joke, in part, because Grant is gay.
John Grant
(Photo by H. Sveinsson)
Grant seemingly lacked for jokes, even good humor, as a gay teenager in the small town of Parker, Colo. ''Once it had been pounded into me that I was not really a human being [and that] there was something very wrong with me,'' Grant says, referring to the anti-gay attitudes around him back then, ''I sort of just gave up. I didn't try in school anymore, because I didn't think there was any sort of future for me anyway.''
Grant couldn't see his future in music until he got out and saw the broader world, first settling in Germany, where he lived for six years until the mid-'90s. Grant now makes his home in Reykjavik, Iceland's capital. He recorded most of Pale Green Ghosts in the Nordic country, working with Biggi Veira of notable Icelandic band GusGus, known for a stylish, playful, chill-out vibe. The new set is a departure from his 2010 solo debut, Queen of Denmark, which was more rooted in folk rock.
''I've always wanted to go in the electronic direction, because that's the music that I listened to the most growing up,'' Grant says, singling out one Swedish band in particular. ''Of course I loved ABBA more than any [other artist].'' Grant was also weaned on classical piano, and especially favored Russian composers Rachmaninoff and Prokofiev. Pale Green Ghosts even ends with an unexpected romantic piano coda.
''I suppose,'' he laughs, ''that's sort of where the melodrama comes from.''
John Grant performs Saturday, June 29, at 7 p.m. U Street Music Hall, 1115A U St. NW. Tickets are $20. Call 202-588-1880 or visit ustreetmusichall.com. ...more
Last year Sinead O'Connor released a cover version of a John Grant song. But that was only the start of O'Connor singing Grant's praises. O'Connor persuaded the up-and-coming artist to let her handle backing vocals on his new album, the eclectic and sophisticated Pale Green Ghosts. The usually commanding Irish pop star holds back, so that she's mostly just haunting the folk/electronica tunes here.
''We just really hit it off and became good friends,'' Grant explains. The two artists have bonded so well the liner notes credit backing vocals to ''Sinead O'Connor (Mrs. John Grant).'' That's ''just a little joke,'' Grant responds -- a joke, in part, because Grant is gay.
John Grant
(Photo by H. Sveinsson)
Grant seemingly lacked for jokes, even good humor, as a gay teenager in the small town of Parker, Colo. ''Once it had been pounded into me that I was not really a human being [and that] there was something very wrong with me,'' Grant says, referring to the anti-gay attitudes around him back then, ''I sort of just gave up. I didn't try in school anymore, because I didn't think there was any sort of future for me anyway.''
Grant couldn't see his future in music until he got out and saw the broader world, first settling in Germany, where he lived for six years until the mid-'90s. Grant now makes his home in Reykjavik, Iceland's capital. He recorded most of Pale Green Ghosts in the Nordic country, working with Biggi Veira of notable Icelandic band GusGus, known for a stylish, playful, chill-out vibe. The new set is a departure from his 2010 solo debut, Queen of Denmark, which was more rooted in folk rock.
''I've always wanted to go in the electronic direction, because that's the music that I listened to the most growing up,'' Grant says, singling out one Swedish band in particular. ''Of course I loved ABBA more than any [other artist].'' Grant was also weaned on classical piano, and especially favored Russian composers Rachmaninoff and Prokofiev. Pale Green Ghosts even ends with an unexpected romantic piano coda.
''I suppose,'' he laughs, ''that's sort of where the melodrama comes from.''
John Grant performs Saturday, June 29, at 7 p.m. U Street Music Hall, 1115A U St. NW. Tickets are $20. Call 202-588-1880 or visit ustreetmusichall.com. ...more
My DADT story as a closeted transgender woman
Back in the summer of 1980, I joined the US Navy. The country was in the midst of a nationwide recession and I lied about my personal history of teen cross-dressing.
I signed up for the Advanced Electronics Program, and once in the Navy, I was assigned to the Fire Control Technician (Missiles) rating. The rating title later reverted back to the historic name “Fire Controlman,” so my rating title changed to Fire Controlman in 1984. I first trained to work on the Mark 92 Gun and Missile Fire Control System, which were only on Guided Missile Fast Frigates (FFGs) and hydrofoils. In my career, I was assigned to two FFGs as a Mark 92 technician. Later in my career, I retrained as a Mark 15 Close-In Weapons System (CIWS) technician and then served on o…
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I signed up for the Advanced Electronics Program, and once in the Navy, I was assigned to the Fire Control Technician (Missiles) rating. The rating title later reverted back to the historic name “Fire Controlman,” so my rating title changed to Fire Controlman in 1984. I first trained to work on the Mark 92 Gun and Missile Fire Control System, which were only on Guided Missile Fast Frigates (FFGs) and hydrofoils. In my career, I was assigned to two FFGs as a Mark 92 technician. Later in my career, I retrained as a Mark 15 Close-In Weapons System (CIWS) technician and then served on o…
Read More
ACLU of Nevada Applauds Repeal of Nevada's "Infamous Crimes Against Nature" Statute
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: 212-549-2666, media@aclu.org
CARSON CITY, Nev. ? Today, with Governor Sandoval's signature of SB 388, Nevada's "infamous crimes against nature" statutes were finally repealed.
The ACLU of Nevada fought this law on two fronts: one, to repeal these statutes through the legislative process; and two, to expose the unconstitutional, discriminatory application of this law by prosecutors, by pursuing a legal case through the courts.
"Nevada has finally equalized its age of consent and ended its decades-old discrimination of same-gender relationships. By repealing SB 388, 'infamous crimes' in Nevada take their rightful place in the dustbin of history," said Tod Story, executive director of the ACLU of Nevada.
Legislative Director Vanessa Spinazola added, "Because of the hard work of legislators, and the Governor signing this law, we were able to remove this outdated and discriminatory law from Nevada's books."
"We applaud the state of Nevada for taking the critical step of repealing the ?infamous crimes against nature.? As we emphasized in bringing John Doe v. Elko County & Mark Torvinen, in April of this year, ?the ?crimes against nature statute? creates a double standard that treats identical conduct differently based solely on whether the sexual activity involves two persons of the same sex.? A system that singles out homosexual behavior for additional punishment cannot withstand equal protection scrutiny under any standard. We believe that the filing of the class action challenge acted as the driving force to ensure the repeal of this historical anachronism. The age of consent for minors should not depend upon their sexual orientation, said Staci Pratt, legal director of the ACLU of Nevada.
CONTACT: 212-549-2666, media@aclu.org
CARSON CITY, Nev. ? Today, with Governor Sandoval's signature of SB 388, Nevada's "infamous crimes against nature" statutes were finally repealed.
The ACLU of Nevada fought this law on two fronts: one, to repeal these statutes through the legislative process; and two, to expose the unconstitutional, discriminatory application of this law by prosecutors, by pursuing a legal case through the courts.
"Nevada has finally equalized its age of consent and ended its decades-old discrimination of same-gender relationships. By repealing SB 388, 'infamous crimes' in Nevada take their rightful place in the dustbin of history," said Tod Story, executive director of the ACLU of Nevada.
Legislative Director Vanessa Spinazola added, "Because of the hard work of legislators, and the Governor signing this law, we were able to remove this outdated and discriminatory law from Nevada's books."
"We applaud the state of Nevada for taking the critical step of repealing the ?infamous crimes against nature.? As we emphasized in bringing John Doe v. Elko County & Mark Torvinen, in April of this year, ?the ?crimes against nature statute? creates a double standard that treats identical conduct differently based solely on whether the sexual activity involves two persons of the same sex.? A system that singles out homosexual behavior for additional punishment cannot withstand equal protection scrutiny under any standard. We believe that the filing of the class action challenge acted as the driving force to ensure the repeal of this historical anachronism. The age of consent for minors should not depend upon their sexual orientation, said Staci Pratt, legal director of the ACLU of Nevada.
Special Offer For Brooklyn Couples
Editor's Note: This is a special note from a writer in New York...
Dear Gayweddings.com Brides & Grooms:
Getting married in Brooklyn, NY? Congratulations!! I'd like to invite you to be part of the Brooklyn launch of an exciting new wedding item and take advantage of a very special offer (see below).
But, first, some background:
I'm a journalist, and couples hire me to write their love story and create adorable keepsakes that they distribute to all their guests. You can see samples at www.prequels.net and my writing style in some of the Real Weddings featured on GayWeddings.com.
read more
Dear Gayweddings.com Brides & Grooms:
Getting married in Brooklyn, NY? Congratulations!! I'd like to invite you to be part of the Brooklyn launch of an exciting new wedding item and take advantage of a very special offer (see below).
But, first, some background:
I'm a journalist, and couples hire me to write their love story and create adorable keepsakes that they distribute to all their guests. You can see samples at www.prequels.net and my writing style in some of the Real Weddings featured on GayWeddings.com.
read more
World News Briefs
Gays arrested at Moscow demo
Fresh from his reported 2 1/2-day kidnapping by unidentified government officials, Moscow gay leader Nikolai Alekseev, along with 10 other activists, was arrested in Moscow Sept. 21 for staging an unauthorized demonstration at City Hall against Mayor Yuri Luzhkov’s strident homophobia.
The demo, dubbed “Luzhkov Faggot,” took place on Luzhkov’s 74th birthday and played off a recent court case in which gays unsuccessfully sued him for defamation for having called gays “faggots” (“gomiki”) on television.
The protesters were cited and released.
Alekseev has reported that he was abducted by unidentified government agents Sept. 15 at Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport. He said they dro…
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Fresh from his reported 2 1/2-day kidnapping by unidentified government officials, Moscow gay leader Nikolai Alekseev, along with 10 other activists, was arrested in Moscow Sept. 21 for staging an unauthorized demonstration at City Hall against Mayor Yuri Luzhkov’s strident homophobia.
The demo, dubbed “Luzhkov Faggot,” took place on Luzhkov’s 74th birthday and played off a recent court case in which gays unsuccessfully sued him for defamation for having called gays “faggots” (“gomiki”) on television.
The protesters were cited and released.
Alekseev has reported that he was abducted by unidentified government agents Sept. 15 at Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport. He said they dro…
Read More
Thursday, June 20, 2013
My DADT story as a closeted transgender woman
Back in the summer of 1980, I joined the US Navy. The country was in the midst of a nationwide recession and I lied about my personal history of teen cross-dressing.
I signed up for the Advanced Electronics Program, and once in the Navy, I was assigned to the Fire Control Technician (Missiles) rating. The rating title later reverted back to the historic name “Fire Controlman,” so my rating title changed to Fire Controlman in 1984. I first trained to work on the Mark 92 Gun and Missile Fire Control System, which were only on Guided Missile Fast Frigates (FFGs) and hydrofoils. In my career, I was assigned to two FFGs as a Mark 92 technician. Later in my career, I retrained as a Mark 15 Close-In Weapons System (CIWS) technician and then served on o…
Read More
I signed up for the Advanced Electronics Program, and once in the Navy, I was assigned to the Fire Control Technician (Missiles) rating. The rating title later reverted back to the historic name “Fire Controlman,” so my rating title changed to Fire Controlman in 1984. I first trained to work on the Mark 92 Gun and Missile Fire Control System, which were only on Guided Missile Fast Frigates (FFGs) and hydrofoils. In my career, I was assigned to two FFGs as a Mark 92 technician. Later in my career, I retrained as a Mark 15 Close-In Weapons System (CIWS) technician and then served on o…
Read More
Jim Winsor?s Out & About: GLU Pool Party coming up July 6
Summer officially begins on Friday, and there's no better sign of this than the first Guys Like Us (GLU) Pool Party of 2013, coming up July 6 at a private estate in Mission Hills.
The GLU pool parties are some of the better ones on the local pool party calendar. You can view photos from some of the previous events here. Fundraisers for their AIDS Walk team, they?ve raised thousands of dollars for the cause over the years.
Summer is here! Jim has details on all the fun taking place this weekend!
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The GLU pool parties are some of the better ones on the local pool party calendar. You can view photos from some of the previous events here. Fundraisers for their AIDS Walk team, they?ve raised thousands of dollars for the cause over the years.
Summer is here! Jim has details on all the fun taking place this weekend!
read more
Former Secretary of the Army, Clifford Alexander:
“The policy is an absurdity and borderline on being an obscenity. What it does is cause people to ask of themselves that they lie to themselves, that they pretend to be something that they are not. There is no empirical evidence that would indicate that it affects military cohesion. There is a lot of evidence to say that the biases of the past have been layered onto the United States Army.”
Iraq War Veteran and U.S. Rep. Patrick Murphy, challenging a witness during “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” hearings in the U.S. House:
“You’re basically asserting that straight men and women in our military aren’t professional enough to serve openly with gay troops while completing their military missions. You know as a fo…
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Iraq War Veteran and U.S. Rep. Patrick Murphy, challenging a witness during “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” hearings in the U.S. House:
“You’re basically asserting that straight men and women in our military aren’t professional enough to serve openly with gay troops while completing their military missions. You know as a fo…
Read More
Lipstick's Novel - Jukebox
Hi friends, although we've moved our blog over to Curve's website, I thought I'd post some info about my debut novel, Jukebox here, too.You can read all about it HERE.Sign up for the mailing list (click on link above then "subscribe") and I'll be sure to keep you posted on events and readings.Get your copy today!
WATCH: Trans Woman Attacked in Hollywood Hate Crime Speaks Out, Cops Offer Reward
Los Angeles police are offering a $25,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of four men who brutally assaulted a transgender woman last month.
read more
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HELP WANTED for NORMANDIE at Farmers Market - Los Angeles
Chef Josette LeBlond is founder and President of
Normandie Pate Inc. In 1985, Normandie started out as the first
manufacturer of fine French pates and sausages in Los Angeles.
Today,
the Normandie label can be seen not only on pates but on bakery goods
for airlines, grocery chains and restaurants in California and Nevada.
Josette?s perseverance and hard-working ethic have brought her key
accounts such as Disneyland Hotels, The Biltmore, Macy?s, and grocery
chains like Whole Foods, Bristol Farms and Pavillions. Hotel restaurants
in the Marriott, Hyatt and Ritz Carlton also enjoy her fine pates and
baked goods. Award-winning restaurants, like Joan?s on Third in Los
Angeles, utilize Normandie?s baguettes as the star component of their
sandwiches.
In 2011, Chef Josette expanded the Normandie brand to Farmers Market
at Third and Fairfax. Normandie Farmers Market serves breads,
croissants, pastries, cakes and pies. In 2012 Chef Josette opened a
restaurant in her Normandie Bakery calling it
Josette?s Bistro, and serving authentic French bistro cuisine at affordable prices.
HELP WANTED:
Chef Josette is Looking for Server bilingual French, Spanish English for bakery, at the farmers market at Fairfax ( part time, evening) 5pm-9pm
PLEASE RESPOND BY EMAIL
if you are interested. No phone calls, please. This is an exciting opportunity to work for this amazing company!
Normandie Pate Inc. In 1985, Normandie started out as the first
manufacturer of fine French pates and sausages in Los Angeles.
Today,
the Normandie label can be seen not only on pates but on bakery goods
for airlines, grocery chains and restaurants in California and Nevada.
Josette?s perseverance and hard-working ethic have brought her key
accounts such as Disneyland Hotels, The Biltmore, Macy?s, and grocery
chains like Whole Foods, Bristol Farms and Pavillions. Hotel restaurants
in the Marriott, Hyatt and Ritz Carlton also enjoy her fine pates and
baked goods. Award-winning restaurants, like Joan?s on Third in Los
Angeles, utilize Normandie?s baguettes as the star component of their
sandwiches.
In 2011, Chef Josette expanded the Normandie brand to Farmers Market
at Third and Fairfax. Normandie Farmers Market serves breads,
croissants, pastries, cakes and pies. In 2012 Chef Josette opened a
restaurant in her Normandie Bakery calling it
Josette?s Bistro, and serving authentic French bistro cuisine at affordable prices.
HELP WANTED:
Chef Josette is Looking for Server bilingual French, Spanish English for bakery, at the farmers market at Fairfax ( part time, evening) 5pm-9pm
PLEASE RESPOND BY EMAIL
if you are interested. No phone calls, please. This is an exciting opportunity to work for this amazing company!
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