How do I support my brother, his wife, and myself through my sister-in-law coming out as a lesbian? My younger brother married his current wife last June (just just past their one-year anniversary). Since their marriage, he and his wife have lived with me (I'm single). We all got along for the most part and it was mostly financially beneficial for all of us. Since about Christmas though the house has been extremely tense and about 2 months ago my sister-in-law and my brother sat me down and shared that she is a lesbian and wants to come out now (not really a surprise). I felt hurt and angry that I was expected to keep this secret until she was ready to share this with our family, and over the course of the last month, my family and her family have all been told. Everyone, including me, is very supportive for the most part.
I'm struggling at this point with how best to support my brother, his wife, and myself. They will be separating but want to continue living here. They want to tell a sports league we're all involved with this week what they're going through but I feel like this is unnecessary. Why share this with acquaintences? Close friends I understand but not an entire league. I'm not sure why I'm having more trouble now that I know for sure a separation is happening (at one point they discussed an open marriage). I do feel like for a long time I was expected to carry this for them/keep secrets/act like everything is normal, and now my feelings aren't being considered. Any advice? Anyone gone through anything similar?
Thursday, July 31, 2014
GLAAD Link - your daily round-up of LGBT news, July 30, 2014
Today's top LGBT news headlines.�For more news updated throughout the day, visit www.glaad.org.�
NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL
Russia to revive Soviet Eurovision alternative to protest gay "madness" of Conchita win - PinkNews
China: Gay "cure" clinic sued by advocates in landmark move - PinkNews
Smart phone app Whisper brings continued LGBT youth persecution to light - The New Civil Rights Movement
10 US senators urge Obama to take Nigeria and Uganda to task over anti-LGBT laws - Gay Star News
Former "ex-gay" activist backs away from past, now supports GLAAD - The Advocate
LOCAL/REGIONAL
Michigan Democrat introduces law that will ban gay "conversion therapy" - PinkNews
Equality Michigan petitions Michfest to end exclusionary policy - The Advocate
The most lesbian/bi tidbits from San Diego Comic-Con 2014 - AfterEllen
First ever Mississippi mayor to support equal marriage to retire - PinkNews
Wyoming marriage equality lawsuit will be allowed to go to trial - PinkNews
Inside LES with an LGBT equality historian - The Huffington Post
ACLU of North Carolina on 4th circuit marriage ruling: The time to act is now - Towleroad
Colorado Supreme Court tells Boulder County to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples - PinkNews
Nevada TV station gives transgender nine-year-old a platform - PinkNews
WATCH: Ohio's first pro-marriage equality ad in a decade - The Advocate
COMMENTARY
Why is drug use higher in the gay community? - PinkNews
To be black, trans, and brilliant: Lourdes Ashley Hunter - The Huffington Post
The New Yorker's skewed history of trans-exclusionary radical feminism ignores actual trans women - Autostraddle
Femslash can save the world if we let it - Autostraddle
The 24 realest Tumblr posts about being a lesbian - BuzzFeed
ENTERTAINMENT
Camp Abercorn parallels boy Scout summer camp - Out
VIDEO: Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj--"Bang Bang" - Towleroad
SPORTS
To submit a story for possible inclusion in GLAAD Link,�click here.
Sign up for GLAAD Link emails
July 30, 2014
Issues:
Entertainment,
News,
Local and Regional News,
Bisexuality,
Family,
People of Color,
Religion and Faith,
Spanish-Language Media,
Sports,
Transgender,
Young Adult
NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL
Russia to revive Soviet Eurovision alternative to protest gay "madness" of Conchita win - PinkNews
China: Gay "cure" clinic sued by advocates in landmark move - PinkNews
Smart phone app Whisper brings continued LGBT youth persecution to light - The New Civil Rights Movement
10 US senators urge Obama to take Nigeria and Uganda to task over anti-LGBT laws - Gay Star News
Former "ex-gay" activist backs away from past, now supports GLAAD - The Advocate
LOCAL/REGIONAL
Michigan Democrat introduces law that will ban gay "conversion therapy" - PinkNews
Equality Michigan petitions Michfest to end exclusionary policy - The Advocate
The most lesbian/bi tidbits from San Diego Comic-Con 2014 - AfterEllen
First ever Mississippi mayor to support equal marriage to retire - PinkNews
Wyoming marriage equality lawsuit will be allowed to go to trial - PinkNews
Inside LES with an LGBT equality historian - The Huffington Post
ACLU of North Carolina on 4th circuit marriage ruling: The time to act is now - Towleroad
Colorado Supreme Court tells Boulder County to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples - PinkNews
Nevada TV station gives transgender nine-year-old a platform - PinkNews
WATCH: Ohio's first pro-marriage equality ad in a decade - The Advocate
COMMENTARY
Why is drug use higher in the gay community? - PinkNews
To be black, trans, and brilliant: Lourdes Ashley Hunter - The Huffington Post
The New Yorker's skewed history of trans-exclusionary radical feminism ignores actual trans women - Autostraddle
Femslash can save the world if we let it - Autostraddle
The 24 realest Tumblr posts about being a lesbian - BuzzFeed
ENTERTAINMENT
Camp Abercorn parallels boy Scout summer camp - Out
VIDEO: Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj--"Bang Bang" - Towleroad
SPORTS
To submit a story for possible inclusion in GLAAD Link,�click here.
Sign up for GLAAD Link emails
July 30, 2014
Issues:
Entertainment,
News,
Local and Regional News,
Bisexuality,
Family,
People of Color,
Religion and Faith,
Spanish-Language Media,
Sports,
Transgender,
Young Adult
(35) Fruits, Porn & Cheats 101
Frustrating fruits “shit in my peach.” Sarah Jessica Parker and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Getting Off, Interns, Infidelitors, Porn, and more trash-talk! (some of the calls had bad sound, sorry :/ Featuring music by: Sarah Greenwood’s – GSX! http://www.myspace.com/gsx Vote for her VIDEO HERE: http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/the_click_list/video_voting.jhtml
San Diego Drag Kings Ten Year Celebration
Lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual or straight, no one can deny that the event this Sunday evening at the Flame will definitely be worth attending. The San Diego drag kings will be celebrating their ten year anniversary and everyone is welcome. Favorite faces from the past such as the popular Tommy Salami, Jonny O and Randy Shaft will be traveling to San Diego to perform in this event. The event will also be hosted by some familiar and local drag members. Local members will perform new numbers and include old favorites, which we have not had the opportunity to enjoy for a while. Some of these performances will be hosted by Rudy Ramrod, James Bondage, Drake Bottoms, Trouble, Dragon, Whiskey and Smokey. Drag queen, Regina Styles (Richard Poole), who they ende…
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Illinois warns insurers of discrimination ban
The bulletin, which was dated Monday and announced Tuesday, notes that both new and amended policy filings should comply with provisions in the Affordable Care Act, the Illinois Human Rights Act and the Illinois Mental Health Parity Act - which prohibit discrimination against transgender persons because of general identity or health conditions.
Playing my part in making life for fellow LGBT countryfolk bearable.
The State-sanctioned homophobia and transphobia in Malaysia, my country of origin, is breaking my heart. What can I do as a currently overseas citizen to make things better for my fellow LGBT folk back in Malaysia, particularly in raising awareness of the issue internationally? I left Malaysia for various reasons, but one core reason was escaping the various persecutions and micro/macro-aggressions I felt for who I am. Most of this has to do with race (my parents are Bangladeshi migrants) and citizenship/residency, but I also felt that I wouldn't be safe exploring my sexuality in a country that so deeply vilifies sexuality that "sexy" is a slur and politicians get run out of Parliament for what they wear (or don't) in their sleep. It took me until I had been in Australia for a few years that I felt safe and able to explore my sexuality and gender without having to look behind my back to see if I will get screwed over by the Malaysian Government. I have had friends and acquaintances who cannot go back to Malaysia because they will face persecution, and one person whose Government scholarship was revoked and who was forced to come back home because her ex outed her as a trans woman.
I am trying to get the word out about the situation in Malaysia, especially this ridiculous propaganda musical, but I am facing a few roadblocks:
1. I am overseas and am not likely to return to Malaysia anytime soon, so my ability to organise something back home is limited. If I did try to do something in Malaysia, I'd be dismissed as a "foreign Zionist agent" of some fashion.
2. Incorporated into the musical is a plot point about how LGBT people who protest are being paid a handsome sum by the Opposition party and are merely reacting against the advice of "reasonable Malay Muslims". This makes any show of protest difficult to be taken seriously - especially when the main sexuality rights event in the country gets shut down for "threatening to disrupt public order" - pretty much the main excuse for arresting any protestor ever.
3. I am trying to get the word out in the Bay Area (where I live right now), especially with the Queer People of Color circles I am heavily involved with. Not many people have really picked up on this though - most people get stuck on "a musical about anti-gay sentiment! ISN'T THAT IRONIC" and don't move on from there. Also it seems that Malaysia doesn't quite have the White/Western Savior Cred of places like Uganda or India, where people seem to care more about LGBT issues there.
4. Even when there are people that DO care, I'm at a loss for what they could do. Petitions are pointless, because the Malaysian Government isn't going to pay attention (the whole paid-by-the-Opposition thing). International attention would be handy, but then it becomes "Foreign Zionist Agents". Tying this in to the United Nations may be useful, but I'm sure there will be a stack of countries who will take Malaysia's side.
5. People often bring up voting, but Malaysia has arcane voting laws that make it near impossible for overseas residents to vote. I technically am allowed to vote overseas because I'm an international student (one of the few classes of overseas residents allowed to vote), but I have to register in Malaysia first - not overseas. Gah! (Besides, it's not like there is anyone to vote for in my district that isn't Ruling Party, and there's a lot of electoral fraud.)
I want Malaysians to see that the so-called deviants are people like everyone else, diverse and unique and part of their community, and not a danger or scrounge to society. My current idea is to organise a performance of monologues, ala Yoni ki Baat (semi self link) or The Vagina Monologues, about Malaysians dealing with the stigmatization of sexuality. Not just in terms of being LGBT, but also slut-shaming, ageism against young people, and misogyny - one does not have to do much to be branded a sexual deviant in Malaysia. I have been and am currently involved in these sorts of This requires being back in Malaysia for a substantial amount of time, which I am not able to do right now. I'm also reminded of how the Vagina Monologues are banned in Malaysia and how anything of this nature would have to be underground...which then leads to the issue of preaching to the choir, the people who already know that LGBT people are not evil...rather than the people who will be affected by this propaganda. Something along the lines of the Pussy Riot worldwide protests would be awesome, but I'm not sure how to get people to care.
Any ideas of what I can do to get international support? I'm reaching out super slowly, one person at a time, but I really don't want Malaysia to get away with it and continue being an unsafe hostile space for people like me.
I am trying to get the word out about the situation in Malaysia, especially this ridiculous propaganda musical, but I am facing a few roadblocks:
1. I am overseas and am not likely to return to Malaysia anytime soon, so my ability to organise something back home is limited. If I did try to do something in Malaysia, I'd be dismissed as a "foreign Zionist agent" of some fashion.
2. Incorporated into the musical is a plot point about how LGBT people who protest are being paid a handsome sum by the Opposition party and are merely reacting against the advice of "reasonable Malay Muslims". This makes any show of protest difficult to be taken seriously - especially when the main sexuality rights event in the country gets shut down for "threatening to disrupt public order" - pretty much the main excuse for arresting any protestor ever.
3. I am trying to get the word out in the Bay Area (where I live right now), especially with the Queer People of Color circles I am heavily involved with. Not many people have really picked up on this though - most people get stuck on "a musical about anti-gay sentiment! ISN'T THAT IRONIC" and don't move on from there. Also it seems that Malaysia doesn't quite have the White/Western Savior Cred of places like Uganda or India, where people seem to care more about LGBT issues there.
4. Even when there are people that DO care, I'm at a loss for what they could do. Petitions are pointless, because the Malaysian Government isn't going to pay attention (the whole paid-by-the-Opposition thing). International attention would be handy, but then it becomes "Foreign Zionist Agents". Tying this in to the United Nations may be useful, but I'm sure there will be a stack of countries who will take Malaysia's side.
5. People often bring up voting, but Malaysia has arcane voting laws that make it near impossible for overseas residents to vote. I technically am allowed to vote overseas because I'm an international student (one of the few classes of overseas residents allowed to vote), but I have to register in Malaysia first - not overseas. Gah! (Besides, it's not like there is anyone to vote for in my district that isn't Ruling Party, and there's a lot of electoral fraud.)
I want Malaysians to see that the so-called deviants are people like everyone else, diverse and unique and part of their community, and not a danger or scrounge to society. My current idea is to organise a performance of monologues, ala Yoni ki Baat (semi self link) or The Vagina Monologues, about Malaysians dealing with the stigmatization of sexuality. Not just in terms of being LGBT, but also slut-shaming, ageism against young people, and misogyny - one does not have to do much to be branded a sexual deviant in Malaysia. I have been and am currently involved in these sorts of This requires being back in Malaysia for a substantial amount of time, which I am not able to do right now. I'm also reminded of how the Vagina Monologues are banned in Malaysia and how anything of this nature would have to be underground...which then leads to the issue of preaching to the choir, the people who already know that LGBT people are not evil...rather than the people who will be affected by this propaganda. Something along the lines of the Pussy Riot worldwide protests would be awesome, but I'm not sure how to get people to care.
Any ideas of what I can do to get international support? I'm reaching out super slowly, one person at a time, but I really don't want Malaysia to get away with it and continue being an unsafe hostile space for people like me.
What do you wear to dress up if you're androgynous?
Looking for something in between gowns and suits. My partner doesn't really identify as masculine or feminine. She has an androgynous, casual style that works really well in normal life - think jeans, v-neck t-shirts, button-ups, sneakers or loafers, etc. She describes her style as being "tomboy." However from time to time we need to dress up for an event (weddings, usually) and it's really hard to come up with what to wear. She would be equally uncomfortable looking like a "man" (suit and tie) or a "woman" (dress...of any kind.) She usually defaults to more on the manly side of things because it's slightly better than wearing a dress. Right now our working look is a slim blazer over a button-up and some sort of slacks (that don't match the blazer so as to avoid the suit look.)
Is there anything out there for people like my partner? Blogs, resources, shops, etc. I have definitely seen "butch" style blogs but that's not really right. She's not interested in things like bow-ties, suspenders, and other masculine trappings any more than she is interested in skirts or earrings. And to be clear we are NOT interested in looks that play with mixing both genders (for instance a tux with heels and a sparkly necklace) but rather in styles/looks that leave out gender completely.
Thanks for any recommendations you might have.
*I am taking some shortcuts here in referring to "masculine" and "feminine" and things like that, not because I don't respect all the variations of these two things, but because my question is about trying to find our way out of those conceptual boxes that culture has constructed for us.*
Is there anything out there for people like my partner? Blogs, resources, shops, etc. I have definitely seen "butch" style blogs but that's not really right. She's not interested in things like bow-ties, suspenders, and other masculine trappings any more than she is interested in skirts or earrings. And to be clear we are NOT interested in looks that play with mixing both genders (for instance a tux with heels and a sparkly necklace) but rather in styles/looks that leave out gender completely.
Thanks for any recommendations you might have.
*I am taking some shortcuts here in referring to "masculine" and "feminine" and things like that, not because I don't respect all the variations of these two things, but because my question is about trying to find our way out of those conceptual boxes that culture has constructed for us.*
Run don’t walk…
Like most things that weigh heavily in our community and lives, from our civil rights and freedoms to our many other struggles, HIV has been at the forefront. HIV infection and reduction and making those who are HIV positive or living with AIDS more comfortable and fulfilled has been a huge priority for all of us. For those of us who have lost someone to this disease it is much more personal and AIDS Walk and other related events are a way to remember and show our commitment to those we loved. For others who know someone who is living with HIV or AIDS it is an opportunity to do something about it and show love and support for our brothers and sisters. For everyone it is a way to show support, tolerance and compassion.
Whatever the motivation or experience …
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Whatever the motivation or experience …
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Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Photographer exhibit at SoFo Tap
The SoFo Tap will host the solo exhibition of new work by Chicago photographer Shannon Jenkins Flaming City Photography .
Dining, Drinks & Desserts
The “ZIO’S EXPERIENCE” with 4 lovely lesbians
Greetings everyone, hope your week is going well. What a week in our busy world! The Senate did not pass DADT. The Republicans decided to start running on platforms which the Democrats created and former President Bill Clinton had some great words of advice for President Obama. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!
This week my guests were 4 lovely lesbians, Christina our Editor, her partner Alice and their friends Joergie and Neally.
We selected ZIO’S Italian Restaurant on El Cajon Blvd in North Park. When I arrived, owner Darren James greeted me with his warm embrace and handshake. We have chatted several times on Facebook and this was our actual first time meeting in person.
My ladies had not yet arrived so I asked Darren to give me a tour of…
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Greetings everyone, hope your week is going well. What a week in our busy world! The Senate did not pass DADT. The Republicans decided to start running on platforms which the Democrats created and former President Bill Clinton had some great words of advice for President Obama. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!
This week my guests were 4 lovely lesbians, Christina our Editor, her partner Alice and their friends Joergie and Neally.
We selected ZIO’S Italian Restaurant on El Cajon Blvd in North Park. When I arrived, owner Darren James greeted me with his warm embrace and handshake. We have chatted several times on Facebook and this was our actual first time meeting in person.
My ladies had not yet arrived so I asked Darren to give me a tour of…
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It ain?t my fault
Is it ever the other persons fault if someone decides to cheat in a relationship? Could you tell your partner, “It’s your fault that I cheated on you?” and it be 100% the truth? I’m not sure blaming someone else … Continue reading →
Updates on Marriage Equality
It's been a good week for marriage equality. As of today, March 29, 2014, same-sex couples can get legally married in England and Wales, bringing the number of countries to legalize same-sex marriage to 16....Read Full Post
Appeals court upholds ruling against Va. marriage ban
A federal appeals court panel on Monday upheld a lower court ruling that Virginia's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutio -More-
Cheapflights.com Shares its List of 10 "New Gay Travel Hot Spots"
I'm always interested to see how other writers and outlets cover up-and-coming gay travel destinations - there's definitely been a movement of late to think a bit outside convention and promote new places around the world as emerging LGBT gay vacation options. I tend to do this a lot myself in my writing on this site - in fact, in tomorrow's New York Times, I'm quoted in a story about less-obvious gay destinations discussing one of my under-the-radar favorites, Eureka Springs, Arkansas....Read Full Post
Othello
Playwright: William Shakespeare. At: Gift Theatre, 4802 N. Milwaukee Ave. Tickets: 773-283-7071; www.thegifttheatre.org; $20-$35. Runs through: Aug. 24
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
You are not a bad person for wanting to break up, and neither is he.
Any resources for healing after a breakup when you're the one that initiated it? And that doesn't demonise either party? After six years my partner and I are now just friends. It was necessary and a long time coming: we still care for each other a great deal but the relationship as it stands wasn't sustainable anymore. We'd still like to be friends, he's practically family to me anyway, but understandably things are still awkward and raw right now (it's been less than a week).
I'm trying to find resources for healing and support, but so much of it runs along the lines of "that bastard doesn't know what they're missing!". Even the ones that are slightly more sympathetic to the initiator are very "well that person was an asshole anyway" - which, NO. He is not a bad person and neither am I. We have both been very good for each other. It just wasn't working out healthily for both of us. It doesn't help that a few other friends have been dumped around the same time, and a lot of what they report the *other party* saying is stuff I relate to...and I haven't the heart to say `well I can see where they are coming from` because they're obviously hurting.
My special snowflake guilt was that a large part of the breakup was because last year I came out to myself and him as more interested in girls than I thought I was (I'd known I was queer for ages and so did he, but some incidences made me realise that I tend to like girls *exclusively*). But because we still loved and cared for each other as companions, and had an open relationship that was working really well for a while, we figured we'd give it a shot. But it wasn't working. I felt like the breakup was the only way for me to be honest and authentic with myself - but sometimes I wonder what is the point of authenticity when it only hurts the ones that already love you as you are?
I'm trying to find resources for healing and support, but so much of it runs along the lines of "that bastard doesn't know what they're missing!". Even the ones that are slightly more sympathetic to the initiator are very "well that person was an asshole anyway" - which, NO. He is not a bad person and neither am I. We have both been very good for each other. It just wasn't working out healthily for both of us. It doesn't help that a few other friends have been dumped around the same time, and a lot of what they report the *other party* saying is stuff I relate to...and I haven't the heart to say `well I can see where they are coming from` because they're obviously hurting.
My special snowflake guilt was that a large part of the breakup was because last year I came out to myself and him as more interested in girls than I thought I was (I'd known I was queer for ages and so did he, but some incidences made me realise that I tend to like girls *exclusively*). But because we still loved and cared for each other as companions, and had an open relationship that was working really well for a while, we figured we'd give it a shot. But it wasn't working. I felt like the breakup was the only way for me to be honest and authentic with myself - but sometimes I wonder what is the point of authenticity when it only hurts the ones that already love you as you are?
Bullying…an evil epidemic in our midst
In the last two months there has been a public outcry over the number of GLBT youth who have committed suicide. It is not only brought the issue back into focus for our community but for the world. With celebrities speaking out on the issue and vigils being held across the country we collectively must do all we can to ensure that not only GLBT youth but all youth are not bullied and brought to feeling so hopeless that they feel the only way out is to take their own lives.
Statistically nine out of ten GLBT youth say they have been bullied and GLBT youth are four times more likely to take their own lives than heterosexual youth according to the Massachusetts Youth Risk Survey. In a study led by Dr. Caitlin Ryan and conducted as part of the Family Acceptance…
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Statistically nine out of ten GLBT youth say they have been bullied and GLBT youth are four times more likely to take their own lives than heterosexual youth according to the Massachusetts Youth Risk Survey. In a study led by Dr. Caitlin Ryan and conducted as part of the Family Acceptance…
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S.O. G.A.Y.
I just threw the bra I'm wearing and the ones in my suitcase at the screen. I need her to marry me NOW. Have my babies NOW. (Thank you Aimee for posting this!!) Get more info on Ash by clicking HERE
(67) bell hooks
� Lovers, We are still on a bit of a vacay and hope to return soon. In the meanwhile, we managed to snag part of an interview we heard on WBAI with esteemed author, thinker, teacher, and�theorist on feminism, gender, race, class and culture, bell hooks, author of over 20 books. She discuesses parenting, critical […]
Kirk Cameron is a NOT a Cock. He's a Dick.
This is so awesome and brilliant!! I used to have THE BIGGEST crush on Evie from Out of This World. What magic those fingers could do. *sigh* Oh and is it me or did that middle child chick from Charles in Charge grow up fancy? Milk does a body GOOD.Funny as hell...
Baby Love
"Baby Lu" is the first feature film to be helmed by writer/director Emily Ray Reese. Baby Lu is a queer coming of age story set in a tiny out skirt town of Taos, New Mexico. Lucinda, a thirteen year old girl, is growing up under a well intentioned but unequipped single mountain man father. When an intriguing new woman moves to town, the two of them must grapple with new emotions and the confusion of Lucinda?s burgeoning sexuality. For the past 5 years, Emily has directed over 5 short films including "Cecilia" a queer film that screened at Outfest, Inside Out Toronto LGBT Film, and Seattle Lesbian and Gay Film Festival amongst many other queer film festivals around the world.1) How is Baby Lu different from most queer stories?The story of Baby Lu is inspired from my own unique upbringing in rural New Mexico. Growing up with my own mountain man father presented an array of experiences and challenges, which came to a head when I entered my teens and even more so when I realized I was gay. While it was difficult to speak with my father growing up, we always had a way of tacitly communicating when he?d take me fishing or hunting. These moments bonded us forever, even though we could never openly discuss my sexuality.New Mexico and it's culture of hunting, fishing, and "living off the grid" is a unique world that is rarely explored in cinema and we've never seen a film specifically tackle coming of age and coming out in that region. The environment and the history of the region really enriches the story and sets an incredible backdrop for this queer story.2) What excites you about writing/directing Baby Lu?I have always felt like an outsider between the two worlds that I live in. I had different values then the hunting, gun loving community I grew up in yet I love that way of living. Now that I am an adult and have become a part of a very progressive and queer friendly community here in Brooklyn, I still however feel that I have to balance the politics of my upbringing with my current community. My goal for Baby Lu and it's story is that it can inspire some empathy that will allow us to identify similarities between both cultures. I hope that by seeing the world through Lucinda's eyes, I may be able to bring these opposing worlds together to cultivate dialogue and forgiveness.3) What's one thing you've learned that would be helpful for first-time writer/directors?Collect an amazing team of collaborators! Honestly it takes a village to make a film and your movie will only be as good as those you have chosen to work with. Assemble your team according to those who's work you respect and who's company you enjoy. Once you have people on board you have to trust them to do their jobs. And you must love your story! If you don't believe in it no one else will. 4) How can people get involved or support the project? The most helpful act at this point would be to donate what ever you can to our kickstarter campaign and then tell everyone you know about what we are doing and inspire them to donate as well!Our kickstarter campaign is set with an ambitious goal of $50k and so far we have raised a whopping $30k! With less than 8 days left, we need to expand our network and reach as many people as possible so we can reach our goal and begin production this fall. To see more about Baby Lu and support our campaign please visit our kickstarter page at: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/185154191/baby-luTwitter: @babylumovieWebsite: emilyrayreese.comFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/BABYLU/199449416817549
Monday, July 28, 2014
We must straighten our backs…
We trusted that following conservative and STRAIGHT (for those Prop 8 supporters) Justice Phillips’ September 9th decision that “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was unconstitutional on two counts, the Senate would vote to uphold the integrity of our Nation by voting for the repeal of this pathetic law. The House had done so in June, along with the Senate Armed Services Committee. Now, backed by an unconstitutionality ruling, certainly the Senate would end the ban once and for all.
Fail.
Instead, on September 21st Sen. John McCain (R-Az.), a POW and a former hero to many of us veterans, single handedly obstructed justice with a filibuster. Sadly, the Senate could not muster 60 Senators willing to vote to override him.
No more than two…
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Fail.
Instead, on September 21st Sen. John McCain (R-Az.), a POW and a former hero to many of us veterans, single handedly obstructed justice with a filibuster. Sadly, the Senate could not muster 60 Senators willing to vote to override him.
No more than two…
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Congresswoman Slams Science Magazine for Transphobic, Sexist Cover
California Rep. Jackie Speier speaks out on the magazine's recent controversial cover image featuring transgender sex workers.
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(35) Fruits, Porn & Cheats 101
Frustrating fruits “shit in my peach.” Sarah Jessica Parker and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Getting Off, Interns, Infidelitors, Porn, and more trash-talk! (some of the calls had bad sound, sorry :/ Featuring music by: Sarah Greenwood’s – GSX! http://www.myspace.com/gsx Vote for her VIDEO HERE: http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/the_click_list/video_voting.jhtml
Artist Spotlight: Czanara
Raymond Carrance, working under the name Czanara, created an intriguing body of homoerotic artwork in the '50s and '60s.
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SF Pride 2010
It's been almost a week since SF Pride and I think I'm just recovering now. Wow, what a fun and fantastic time. For the first time since we've been writing for them, Curve magazine had a float in the San Francisco Pride parade. I was so excited when I got the call. Did I want to ride on the float? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it!But before Sunday and the parade began, I had a lot of other partying to get through. I arrived in SF Friday morning. I spend the afternoon with my friends, before heading over to the Olivia/Curve comedy night show with Dana Goldberg, Julie Goldman, Sandra Valls and Gina Yashere. I ran into many friends from past Olivia trips and laughed my little a** off. Then it was off to Tease to dance the night away. Perhaps I should have started pacing myself earlier. I had to be up early the next morning to join my friends over in Delores Park because I was helping out on stage at the Dyke March. My good friend Retts is stage manager and I volunteered to help out with stage crew. From noon until 7pm or so, we hustled ladies and dykes on and off the stage. Drummers and poets and politicians and singers and drag kings. What a lot of fun! I got to say hi to old friend Alix Dobkin and meet one of my butch Role Models, Phranc. The only bummer is we were wrapping things up at the stage and I missed the beginning of the march. The Dykes on Bikes. You know how Dipstick loves the Dykes on Bikes.After a quick dinner and outfit change, it was time to head out for more dancing with Curve and Olivia. This time over at the Olivia headquarters where I got to hang out with new friends: Mikey from The Real L Word and Top Chef Josie. But the big thrill of the night was when a tall woman came up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Sheri Sam." As in, Sheri Sam, the amazing WNBA star. If there's one thing Dipstick likes better than Dykes on Bikes, it's women's basketball. What an amazing day this was turning out to be. Lord knows what time it was by the time I got home to bed. And we had to meet at some corner at 10:15 am for the float. When I finally found the corner, I found the Curve ladies frantically gluing tissue paper and glitter to the Curve float. I grabbed a staple gun and got right to work.I love coming down to San Francisco for Curve events, because I get to meet other Curve contributors, like the amazing photographer Cheryl Mazak and blogger Queerie Bradshaw. And of course, any time I get to hang out with Curve publisher Franco Stevens, it's a good day. Once the float was together, we relaxed a bit, practiced our butchest parade wave and watched all the beautiful people stroll by. After about two hours of waiting, finally it was our turn! Our big cupcake float pulled out onto the street and the crowds were deafening. Our onboard DJ spun some old school Michael Jackson and of course, Pussy Cat Dolls. I waved and blew bubbles and looked for people I knew in the crowd while the ground crew handed out magazines to the crowd. The sun was out. We were happy and gay. And too quickly, it was over. I headed back to my hotel room to rest up, because, no, oh no, there was still much more partying to be done. Met some new friends for Happy Hour, old friends for dinner and then we all went to see Red Hot Blues Sisters play in a small club downtown. I stayed in San Francisco an extra day. I planned on spending some time hanging out and seeing the city. Instead, I got a late check-out from my hotel, met a friend for lunch and took the shuttle to the airport.You can see why it took me so long to recover. I'm not as young as I once was. But still, Pride in San Francisco never gets old.
Louisiana attorney general joins in appeal of Indiana gay marriage case
Louisiana Attorney General Buddy Caldwell has joined either other states in supporting an appeal of a ruling that found Indiana's ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional.
February 2012 - Life on the Road (and mostly my crib)
Hello hello! So here we are again. I started this special series of blog entries last month (Click here for Jan. 2012) and am happy to report that...well there is more to report. I have *words* to say about February which means the clock hasn't yet struck midnight on this little fairy tale I'm living.(My friend Adriana and I doin' a faux prom pic in the middle of a hotel in LA a few days ago. That's normal, right? Oh and although it definitely looks like it, she is NOT in love with me. Totally looks like it, though, doesn't it. Sheesh, no means no, lady!)Now don't get me wrong: the job I have (like I'm sure it is for most of you reading this) is a LOT of hard work. Truly. It's mentally and physically challenging and there are a VAGILLION moving parts and lots of high stakes gigs/days. But the good news is that I LOVE that sort of energy. I love high stakes. I love having a ton of responsibility and people looking to me for answers. I love still having so many questions, and being a sponge, soaking it all up each and every day. Cause I know one day I will be jaded. One day this will just be a J.O.B. I hope that doesn't happen for several decades and that when it DOES happen, I'm somewhere on a jetpack and it won't matter anyway:) So the point is, I don't take a minute of this for granted.And while January was chock full of gigs and jetsetting and ROBES (see link above), February was relatively quiet until the veeery end. I spent most of February in Houston working on a few things from home, watching Criminal Intent marathons, and gaining SO much weight all throughout and about my person. I also came across some old photo prints that I did years ago in a dark room and it really has me inspired to pursue photography more seriously than ever before.(My brother Alfred, hand printed)(This chick that used to work at my favorite restaurant in Dallas, Mother Mesquite's, hand printed)The last week in Feb, I got a call that we would have to fly to LA the very next day for a big CeeLo show in Hollywood. We spent a few days in rehearsal...(The band playing during rehearsals)...and I spent a few minutes staring at this sign that I came across...(No biggie, just where my wife Katharine Mcphee's mom teaches and coaches American Idol contestants and others, and where my wife got her chops back in the day. Yep. I was able to *go to there*.)SO, speeeeaking of women named after felines who I am married to, did you guys catch when my other wife Cat Deeley retweeted me in Feb? No? I'll show you:That was cool, right? Know whats even cooler? Days later when I find out that Cat Deeley not only has great taste in food, tweets, and Arlans, but she ALSO says yes to the best gigs. She HOSTED the show we did in Hollywood! Good thing I didn't realize this until the night before the show, or I'm pretty sure I would have hyperventilated days earlier and wouldn't have been able to make it to the show at all. All tolled, I spent about 6 hours in Ms. Deeley's tall, luxurious, babe-alicious presence, and I can tell you this: the woman is HOT, friendly, DAMN good at her job, and an overall pleasant individual to be around. Unfortunately I did not get to redeem myself and ask for her hand in marriage, because she's a lady and I'm a professional...aaand truth be told, anytime she'd look in my general direction, I'd giggle and turn into a bowl of jello. But next time, I'll be rock solid, my friends. ROCK. SOLID.(My view of part of soundcheck at Hollywood and Highland. New artist 'V' was preparing for her incredible duet with CeeLo. She sounded great!)You can see pics from the red carpet and the show itself HERE!So thats a wrap for February 2012. I now return you to your regularly scheduled Daily Lesbian Moment blog:) See you again a few days into April where hopefully there will be even more to report. Shenanigans, I tell you. Pure shenanigans!- (Click here for Jan. 2012 blog entry)
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Friday Abs
Just some gratuitous flesh in diesel underwear for Friday.
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
?and that is why lesbians don?t go to strip clubs.
For the second time in my life, I was tricked into going to a strip club. Last Thursday, my boss and coworker and I had enjoyed a two martini lunch because we had finished a big project and we were walking back to our office complex. This complex sits right next to a small building […]
Archie Andrews to Be Killed Saving Gay Best Friend and #39;s Life
Keller first appeared in the Veronica spin-off in 2010 before anchoring his own solo title, which earned the GLAAD Media Award for Outstanding Comic Book in...
THEATER REVIEW: Moxie?s ?Jade Heart?
Will the half of a jade heart that was found with Jade McCullough?s swaddling clothes when she was adopted at seven months lead her back to her roots, her birth family and her very identity in China?
The jade heart is called a memory stone. When loved ones knew they would be separated a long time and they feared time would alter their appearance, they used the broken halves of a jade heart to identify each other.
"Jade Heart" plays through Aug. 10 at Moxie Theatre, 6663 El Cajon Blvd. in the Rolando neighborhood of San Diego.
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The jade heart is called a memory stone. When loved ones knew they would be separated a long time and they feared time would alter their appearance, they used the broken halves of a jade heart to identify each other.
"Jade Heart" plays through Aug. 10 at Moxie Theatre, 6663 El Cajon Blvd. in the Rolando neighborhood of San Diego.
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Muscle bear hunk Chris Miklos dies at age 40
DALLAS, Texas -- Chris Miklos, known across the world as a muscle bear hunk and calendar model, died in his sleep over the weekend. He was 40.
Miklos reportedly died of a heart attack, but an autopsy report will take weeks to confirm the cause of death.
He was working on Bear World magazine's 2015 calendar at the time of his death.
Arnold Wayne Jones wrote this in the Dallas Voice:
Chris Miklos, known across the world as a muscle bear hunk and calendar model, died in his sleep over the weekend. He was 40.
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Miklos reportedly died of a heart attack, but an autopsy report will take weeks to confirm the cause of death.
He was working on Bear World magazine's 2015 calendar at the time of his death.
Arnold Wayne Jones wrote this in the Dallas Voice:
Chris Miklos, known across the world as a muscle bear hunk and calendar model, died in his sleep over the weekend. He was 40.
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Conversations with Nicole
In past columns in the last few years I have written about the issue of Bullying in our schools many times…I hope and pray that now all Americans….especially our community has awoken to this crisis. In one of my past columns I wrote that if “only1/4” of the energy, money, time that has been spent on Marriage Equality and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was focused on GLBT suicides and bullying this issue would have gotten further…we must make our GLBT youth/students who are coming out every day at younger ages our community’s No. 1 PRIORITY!
Take a stand against School Bullying: October 17
San Diegans will be coming together on Sunday, October 17 to take a united stand against all bullying…this …
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Take a stand against School Bullying: October 17
San Diegans will be coming together on Sunday, October 17 to take a united stand against all bullying…this …
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Saturday, July 26, 2014
(25) The Pope Show & Debbie Gibson
The Pope reps in NYC, The Pope-mobile, Pope apologies, The Pope on Evil Eve, The Pope, Pope and more Pope ….
Gay 'Patti Issues' Star Is 'Bad With Money'
Ben Rimalower will return to the stage in a new solo show about his struggle with debt.
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Real Estate News
Lorie Zapf follow up
Last Friday, our community got some good news from the San Diego Association of Realtors (SDAR) which decided to suspend its endorsement of Lorie Zapf for City Council. Zapf failed to disclose a number of crippling personal details including her open gay-hatred and her operation of a short sale scam with husband Eric. Zapf is now forced to remove the Realtor thumbs-up from all campaign material and won’t have access to the organization’s PAC funds. Thanks to all who took a moment to contact SDAR, both as Realtors and as clients. Your direct involvement helped immensely. Professional credit is owed to SD City Beat’s Dave Maass and Realtor Pat Flannery from blogofsandiego.com.
Before we uncork the Prosecco in victory, let me offer a more dir…
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Last Friday, our community got some good news from the San Diego Association of Realtors (SDAR) which decided to suspend its endorsement of Lorie Zapf for City Council. Zapf failed to disclose a number of crippling personal details including her open gay-hatred and her operation of a short sale scam with husband Eric. Zapf is now forced to remove the Realtor thumbs-up from all campaign material and won’t have access to the organization’s PAC funds. Thanks to all who took a moment to contact SDAR, both as Realtors and as clients. Your direct involvement helped immensely. Professional credit is owed to SD City Beat’s Dave Maass and Realtor Pat Flannery from blogofsandiego.com.
Before we uncork the Prosecco in victory, let me offer a more dir…
Read More
Mankind moves to University Avenue in Hillcrest
SAN DIEGO, California -- One of Hillcrest?s most popular gay adult retailers has finally settled into a new location on University Avenue.
Mankind opened its doors at 1295 University Ave. on July 5. The store sells men?s designer clothing, sex toys, pornography DVDs and accessories.
Mankind opened its doors at 1295 University Ave. on July 5. The store sells men?s designer clothing, sex toys, pornography DVDs and accessories.
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Mankind opened its doors at 1295 University Ave. on July 5. The store sells men?s designer clothing, sex toys, pornography DVDs and accessories.
Mankind opened its doors at 1295 University Ave. on July 5. The store sells men?s designer clothing, sex toys, pornography DVDs and accessories.
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New Flower Service
As workmen begin installing the flowers for the Prince William and Catherine Middleton's Royal wedding, uur friends at The Garden Party Flower Service launched a new Flower Service today at http://www.thegardenparty.co.uk/ Head over and take a look.
Image by shannonpatrick17 via Flickr
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Image by shannonpatrick17 via Flickr
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
(65) ?Outrage? Director Kirby Dick
Interview with prolific filmmaker Kirby Dick on his controversial movie Outrage, which outs closeted gay politicians who vote to pass anti-gay legislation. His film SICK (1997) won the Special Jury Prize at Sundance and the Grand Prize at the Los Angeles Film Festival. Dick also directed the controversial TWIST OF FAITH (2005), a film about […]
The Pope Books Take That for the Next Vatican Show
After this weeks Royal Variety Performance (the one where Duchess Camilla was attacked with a stick when caught up in the London riots), the Pope has booked Take That. The show included hundreds of near naked male dancers.
Naked from the back
The five Take That members sang on top of a raised platform while the remainder of the stage was covered in male dancers wearing nothing but flesh-coloured jockstraps.
As the song continued the men re-enacted the five poses on the front of the band?s new album, Progress.
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Naked from the back
The five Take That members sang on top of a raised platform while the remainder of the stage was covered in male dancers wearing nothing but flesh-coloured jockstraps.
As the song continued the men re-enacted the five poses on the front of the band?s new album, Progress.
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Friday, July 25, 2014
Colorado appeals court denies bid to block same-sex marriages in Boulder County
A Colorado appeals court on Thursday denied a motion by the state's top lawyer seeking to block a county clerk from issuing same-sex marriage licenses until the long-running legal battle is resolved by higher courts.
GLBT History Month 2010
Annise Parker
Mayor of Houston
b. May 17, 1956
““The voters of Houston have opened the door to history. I know what this means to many of us who never thought we could achieve high office.””
In 2009, when Annise Parker was elected, Houston became the largest city in the nation with an openly gay mayor.
In 1997, Parker won a seat on the Houston City Council, making her Houston’s first out elected official. In 2003, Parker was elected City Controller. She served two additional terms before being elected mayor.
Catherine Opie
Photographer
b. April 14, 1961
““Let’s push the boundaries a little bit here about what you guys think normal is.””
For over a decade, photographer Catherine …
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Mayor of Houston
b. May 17, 1956
““The voters of Houston have opened the door to history. I know what this means to many of us who never thought we could achieve high office.””
In 2009, when Annise Parker was elected, Houston became the largest city in the nation with an openly gay mayor.
In 1997, Parker won a seat on the Houston City Council, making her Houston’s first out elected official. In 2003, Parker was elected City Controller. She served two additional terms before being elected mayor.
Catherine Opie
Photographer
b. April 14, 1961
““Let’s push the boundaries a little bit here about what you guys think normal is.””
For over a decade, photographer Catherine …
Read More
Out.com's Queering Comic-Con: LGBT highlights at San Diego Comic Con
Out.com has posted a day by day guide to some of the LGBT highlights at this week's San Diego Comic Con and helpful tips for first time convention goers. Matt Kane, GLAAD's Director of Entertainment Media, will be speaking as part of Thursday's "LGBT Geek Year in Review" panel covering the latest trends in LGBT pop culture and what we can look forward to in Room 28DE at 6:00pm.
"For the 44th year in a row, the geek masses of the world will convene at the San Diego Convention Center for Comic-Con International. A four-day tour de force of superheroes, cosplayers, anime fans, and even the occasional Trekkie, the Con of Cons can be overwhelming, especially if you're looking for LGBT content. Fear not, weary queer nerd! We?ve found dozens of panels with queer celebrities and experts, offering you everything from a history of anti-LGBT censorship to discussions on the current landscape of diversity in pop culture."
Check out Out.com's full guide to LGBT at SDCC at their website now.
July 22, 2014
Issues:
Entertainment
"For the 44th year in a row, the geek masses of the world will convene at the San Diego Convention Center for Comic-Con International. A four-day tour de force of superheroes, cosplayers, anime fans, and even the occasional Trekkie, the Con of Cons can be overwhelming, especially if you're looking for LGBT content. Fear not, weary queer nerd! We?ve found dozens of panels with queer celebrities and experts, offering you everything from a history of anti-LGBT censorship to discussions on the current landscape of diversity in pop culture."
Check out Out.com's full guide to LGBT at SDCC at their website now.
July 22, 2014
Issues:
Entertainment
What do you wear to dress up if you're androgynous?
Looking for something in between gowns and suits. My partner doesn't really identify as masculine or feminine. She has an androgynous, casual style that works really well in normal life - think jeans, v-neck t-shirts, button-ups, sneakers or loafers, etc. She describes her style as being "tomboy." However from time to time we need to dress up for an event (weddings, usually) and it's really hard to come up with what to wear. She would be equally uncomfortable looking like a "man" (suit and tie) or a "woman" (dress...of any kind.) She usually defaults to more on the manly side of things because it's slightly better than wearing a dress. Right now our working look is a slim blazer over a button-up and some sort of slacks (that don't match the blazer so as to avoid the suit look.)
Is there anything out there for people like my partner? Blogs, resources, shops, etc. I have definitely seen "butch" style blogs but that's not really right. She's not interested in things like bow-ties, suspenders, and other masculine trappings any more than she is interested in skirts or earrings. And to be clear we are NOT interested in looks that play with mixing both genders (for instance a tux with heels and a sparkly necklace) but rather in styles/looks that leave out gender completely.
Thanks for any recommendations you might have.
*I am taking some shortcuts here in referring to "masculine" and "feminine" and things like that, not because I don't respect all the variations of these two things, but because my question is about trying to find our way out of those conceptual boxes that culture has constructed for us.*
Is there anything out there for people like my partner? Blogs, resources, shops, etc. I have definitely seen "butch" style blogs but that's not really right. She's not interested in things like bow-ties, suspenders, and other masculine trappings any more than she is interested in skirts or earrings. And to be clear we are NOT interested in looks that play with mixing both genders (for instance a tux with heels and a sparkly necklace) but rather in styles/looks that leave out gender completely.
Thanks for any recommendations you might have.
*I am taking some shortcuts here in referring to "masculine" and "feminine" and things like that, not because I don't respect all the variations of these two things, but because my question is about trying to find our way out of those conceptual boxes that culture has constructed for us.*
Thursday, July 24, 2014
The best Gay bars in Phoenix in my experiences
I have had plenty of nights out clubbing with gay and non gay friends and I can tell you that I had some awesome and very memorable experiences at these clubs i list below. I am not going to go into to much detail about my wild nights through out my twenties but rather tell […]
I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what?
I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what?
Yes, I know it seems unlikely, and the nearest I can figure is my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired, rather than finding someone hot in advance. I was married for a very long time, and possibly oblivious to any gay come-ons, in my premarital time. For the sake of the information I seek, can we please assume that I am correct - that I am bi, and that this wasn't just experimental? (which has been suggested to me by a straight friend). I had very satisfying sex with a close friend a week ago after she flirted relentlessly with me for 6 weeks (yes, I'm clueless). I find I want more, and not just/necessarily with her. There were aspects of it very different to sex with a man (which I also enjoy immensely) which were just delightful, not least the emotional closeness, the softer kisses, the different body to hold in my arms, the feel of ... yeah, you get the idea.
So I don't know where to start, and feel like a near virgin again, but old enough this time to realise there's so many complications.
Here's some:
I'm concerned about coming out at some stage to my adult but somewhat innocent children, who still don't cope well with me having sex with someone other than their father, particular as their father and I didn't share a bedroom for most of our marriage.
I'm wondering if I should come out to my siblings - or is my sex-life none of their business, until I turn up at a barbecue with a female companion? They're not homophobic, but I think it will be a shock to them, simply because I've never identified that way.
I've heard that some lesbian women find bi-women problematic.
I don't know how to present my lack of experience at this age to potential female lovers. I don't know how to indicate my interest in a woman, in a way that is different to overtures of friendship. I really don't know know what to do in bed. I'm not sure lesbian porn is the way to go, if I could find it, because like, I wouldn't recommend porn to anyone to learn about sex.
I wonder if I should tell my friends, and long-term colleagues and I do work in a very gay-friendly workplace, but is my sexuality an inappropriate topic at work?
I'm a student and could join the uni queer support group, but the members are likely to be much younger than me, and with very different issues.
I'm confused that it took me this long to find out. I feel somewhat guilty that I didn't have to go through discrimination in my youth because I didn't know.
I'm kind of horrified that I'm so clueless about myself that I didn't know. I feel my self-identity has just been turned upside, and I'm not sure who I am anymore, and it feels awfully late to go looking for myself.
I wonder if I should go to gay clubs.
The very few straight friends that I've shared with seem to think it's no big deal, the males saying most women are bi, and whatever, the females telling me I'm still the same person I was before and they love me, which is nice and accepting of both sets, but not very helpful if you know what I mean.
I don't know where to start. I don't know what I don't know. I wonder if I'm making too big a deal of this.
Bonus question: my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired - this probably explains why I have such difficulty masturbating to orgasm without company (and I do have a very good imagination, also can come very easily with a partner), but also makes me further question my sexuality - why is it so much tied into external influences. What's up with that?
Location: Brisbane Queensland Australia
Yes, I know it seems unlikely, and the nearest I can figure is my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired, rather than finding someone hot in advance. I was married for a very long time, and possibly oblivious to any gay come-ons, in my premarital time. For the sake of the information I seek, can we please assume that I am correct - that I am bi, and that this wasn't just experimental? (which has been suggested to me by a straight friend). I had very satisfying sex with a close friend a week ago after she flirted relentlessly with me for 6 weeks (yes, I'm clueless). I find I want more, and not just/necessarily with her. There were aspects of it very different to sex with a man (which I also enjoy immensely) which were just delightful, not least the emotional closeness, the softer kisses, the different body to hold in my arms, the feel of ... yeah, you get the idea.
So I don't know where to start, and feel like a near virgin again, but old enough this time to realise there's so many complications.
Here's some:
I'm concerned about coming out at some stage to my adult but somewhat innocent children, who still don't cope well with me having sex with someone other than their father, particular as their father and I didn't share a bedroom for most of our marriage.
I'm wondering if I should come out to my siblings - or is my sex-life none of their business, until I turn up at a barbecue with a female companion? They're not homophobic, but I think it will be a shock to them, simply because I've never identified that way.
I've heard that some lesbian women find bi-women problematic.
I don't know how to present my lack of experience at this age to potential female lovers. I don't know how to indicate my interest in a woman, in a way that is different to overtures of friendship. I really don't know know what to do in bed. I'm not sure lesbian porn is the way to go, if I could find it, because like, I wouldn't recommend porn to anyone to learn about sex.
I wonder if I should tell my friends, and long-term colleagues and I do work in a very gay-friendly workplace, but is my sexuality an inappropriate topic at work?
I'm a student and could join the uni queer support group, but the members are likely to be much younger than me, and with very different issues.
I'm confused that it took me this long to find out. I feel somewhat guilty that I didn't have to go through discrimination in my youth because I didn't know.
I'm kind of horrified that I'm so clueless about myself that I didn't know. I feel my self-identity has just been turned upside, and I'm not sure who I am anymore, and it feels awfully late to go looking for myself.
I wonder if I should go to gay clubs.
The very few straight friends that I've shared with seem to think it's no big deal, the males saying most women are bi, and whatever, the females telling me I'm still the same person I was before and they love me, which is nice and accepting of both sets, but not very helpful if you know what I mean.
I don't know where to start. I don't know what I don't know. I wonder if I'm making too big a deal of this.
Bonus question: my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired - this probably explains why I have such difficulty masturbating to orgasm without company (and I do have a very good imagination, also can come very easily with a partner), but also makes me further question my sexuality - why is it so much tied into external influences. What's up with that?
Location: Brisbane Queensland Australia
What to Watch Tuesday 7/22: New episodes of 'Pretty Little Liars,' 'Chasing Life' and 'Motor City Masters'
Tonight catch all new episodes of Pretty Little Liars, Chasing Life and Motor City Masters.
What to Watch: Tuesday, July 22
8:00pm: Pretty Little Liars, ABC Family (1 hr) NEW
Aria volunteers at a hospital and deals with an unruly patient. Meanwhile, Ezra gives Spencer some spy tools.
9:00pm: Chasing Life, ABC Family (1 hr) NEW
Before starting chemotherapy, April visits a fertility doctor. Meanwhile, Sara seeks help from George to deal with the pressure she is facing.
10:00pm: Motor City Masters, TruTV (1 hr) NEW
10 designers with different automotive backgrounds compete to design new, fully-functional cars based around a theme. The series cast includes out auto designer Bryan Thompson.
This morning and afternoon,�check your local listings for information about�Ellen,�The Talk�(CBS), The Gossip Table (VH1) and�The Chew�(ABC). Soap operas Days of Our Lives�on NBC and General Hospital on ABC (check local listings for time) both feature out characters.
____________________________________________________
About What to Watch on TV
Grab the remote or set your DVR!�GLAAD�brings you the most up-to-date listing of LGBT content on television every weekday. Check�GLAAD Blog�for daily What to Watch on TV posts!
About GLAADGLAAD amplifies the voice of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community by empowering real people to share their stories, holding the media accountable for the words and images they present, and helping grassroots organizations communicate effectively. By ensuring that the stories of LGBT people are heard through the media, GLAAD promotes understanding, increases acceptance, and advances equality. For more information, see�www.glaad.org,�www.facebook.com/glaad,�www.twitter.com/glaad�and�www.glaad.tumblr.com.
July 22, 2014
Issues:
What to Watch on TV
What to Watch: Tuesday, July 22
8:00pm: Pretty Little Liars, ABC Family (1 hr) NEW
Aria volunteers at a hospital and deals with an unruly patient. Meanwhile, Ezra gives Spencer some spy tools.
9:00pm: Chasing Life, ABC Family (1 hr) NEW
Before starting chemotherapy, April visits a fertility doctor. Meanwhile, Sara seeks help from George to deal with the pressure she is facing.
10:00pm: Motor City Masters, TruTV (1 hr) NEW
10 designers with different automotive backgrounds compete to design new, fully-functional cars based around a theme. The series cast includes out auto designer Bryan Thompson.
This morning and afternoon,�check your local listings for information about�Ellen,�The Talk�(CBS), The Gossip Table (VH1) and�The Chew�(ABC). Soap operas Days of Our Lives�on NBC and General Hospital on ABC (check local listings for time) both feature out characters.
____________________________________________________
About What to Watch on TV
Grab the remote or set your DVR!�GLAAD�brings you the most up-to-date listing of LGBT content on television every weekday. Check�GLAAD Blog�for daily What to Watch on TV posts!
About GLAADGLAAD amplifies the voice of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community by empowering real people to share their stories, holding the media accountable for the words and images they present, and helping grassroots organizations communicate effectively. By ensuring that the stories of LGBT people are heard through the media, GLAAD promotes understanding, increases acceptance, and advances equality. For more information, see�www.glaad.org,�www.facebook.com/glaad,�www.twitter.com/glaad�and�www.glaad.tumblr.com.
July 22, 2014
Issues:
What to Watch on TV
Family Ties... Again
My Mormon parents won't let me bring my lesbian partner to my brother's wedding (and other big events in our lives). How do we get through this? Natasha and I live together in Salt Lake City. We've been together for just over a year now and I love her. My partner and parents have met exactly once. My parents are Mormon, and live an hour away.
Since I wrote this question my brother has met the girl of his dreams and they are getting married this weekend. In addition, a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee has come and gone, and my grandpa died two weeks ago.
Navigating this zone of family events has been difficult because these are all events I would want my partner to go with me to, but she is explicitly NOT invited. When I wrote the question in June, I was just thinking of Thanksgiving and the Fourth. I wasn't thinking about the Big Events (i.e. Funerals and Weddings). Silly me.
About a month after I wrote the question to MeFi, my parents and Natasha met for a brief dinner and had a pleasant conversation. It went well enough. They told me later that they thought she was charming that they could tell she made me happy. I took this as a step in the right direction but it was the last direct contact they have had since then.
Since this meeting some events have taken place.
In October, there was a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee that we were both invited to by the fiancee. My mom called me as Natasha and I pulled into the parking lot at the bridal shower. My mom told me Natasha was not welcome. I told her Natasha was invited by the hostess, as I was. Despite her protesting, we went in, had some cider. My mom sulked at a table. We hung out with my sisters and then we left.
Fast forward another month. There was a funeral for my mom's dad this past weekend. My mom told me my partner was not invited. Natasha offered to drive me out of state to the funeral, so I wouldn't have to drive in the same car as my mom- even though she wasn't invited to the funeral. It was hard to walk up to that casket alone.
I don't want Natasha to go where she's not welcome. I don't want her to feel she's not accepted. Plenty of people love us and think we're awesome. But we need to be present when Life Events happen. I don't want to endure Life Events alone without my partner.
TLdr: My brother is getting married this Saturday. Natasha is not invited to the wedding. I am aware that my parents' viewpoint is shocking, outdated even for most Mormons, and just plain tacky. My partner comes first, and my parents' homophobia is ridiculous. I am going to the wedding to support my brother and his new love.
1) What mantra can I repeat to people to explain my mom's bad behavior?
2) How do we get through this?
3) Any advice for the future?
Thank you.
Since I wrote this question my brother has met the girl of his dreams and they are getting married this weekend. In addition, a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee has come and gone, and my grandpa died two weeks ago.
Navigating this zone of family events has been difficult because these are all events I would want my partner to go with me to, but she is explicitly NOT invited. When I wrote the question in June, I was just thinking of Thanksgiving and the Fourth. I wasn't thinking about the Big Events (i.e. Funerals and Weddings). Silly me.
About a month after I wrote the question to MeFi, my parents and Natasha met for a brief dinner and had a pleasant conversation. It went well enough. They told me later that they thought she was charming that they could tell she made me happy. I took this as a step in the right direction but it was the last direct contact they have had since then.
Since this meeting some events have taken place.
In October, there was a bridal shower for my brother's fiancee that we were both invited to by the fiancee. My mom called me as Natasha and I pulled into the parking lot at the bridal shower. My mom told me Natasha was not welcome. I told her Natasha was invited by the hostess, as I was. Despite her protesting, we went in, had some cider. My mom sulked at a table. We hung out with my sisters and then we left.
Fast forward another month. There was a funeral for my mom's dad this past weekend. My mom told me my partner was not invited. Natasha offered to drive me out of state to the funeral, so I wouldn't have to drive in the same car as my mom- even though she wasn't invited to the funeral. It was hard to walk up to that casket alone.
I don't want Natasha to go where she's not welcome. I don't want her to feel she's not accepted. Plenty of people love us and think we're awesome. But we need to be present when Life Events happen. I don't want to endure Life Events alone without my partner.
TLdr: My brother is getting married this Saturday. Natasha is not invited to the wedding. I am aware that my parents' viewpoint is shocking, outdated even for most Mormons, and just plain tacky. My partner comes first, and my parents' homophobia is ridiculous. I am going to the wedding to support my brother and his new love.
1) What mantra can I repeat to people to explain my mom's bad behavior?
2) How do we get through this?
3) Any advice for the future?
Thank you.
Help me at least TRY to flirt with my friend
Seeing as how I was an utter failure at my LAST crush, I?m determined to do things differently and boy do I want to move on from that nightmare. Help me figure out how to do it. Mini backstory ? 28 year old lesbian just starting to come out (it?s been a little over a year) and navigate dating and flirting with intent. Very slim dating history with guys, and they did all the work anyway. Still have not been with a girl. Making a first move scares the *%@# out of me. Being single for so long is beginning to really wear on me - I'm increasingly lonely and it makes rejection all the worse.
I?ve recently been hanging out with someone that I?ve known for a little more than a year. She is also a lesbian. We hadn?t really hung out one on one much or anything, and she got into a fight with some of my friends and they all had a falling out, which led to me kind of avoiding her a bit. Not being mean to her or anything like that, just not really engaging her. I didn?t know her very well at the time anyway, so it wasn?t like I was ditching her or something. Recently though she has moved into my town and we have more mutual friends.
She reached out to me to hang out a couple times and I accepted and we had fun. Mostly in groups and such. But recently we?ve been in touch/hanging out a bit more, mainly with other friends, and both initiating plans. And wouldn?t you know it, I?m kinda crushing on her. It?s probably because I always had a seed of a crush/attraction to her, and I guess the fact that she was suddenly hitting me up a lot, and then us having a few deep conversations about our mutual friends, made that grow into a regular crush.
So, what are some things I can do to steer this in a more romantic direction before I suddenly get lost in friend-ville and am doomed to suffer there for all eternity? This is pretty much all just starting so I have a fresh slate to work with here. There's good signs and bad signs from her end, and she's kind of hard to read at the moment. I probably am too.
I am suspicious of a friend of hers that she seems to be texting a lot, and that is giving a huge blow to my confidence here. I know she?s not dating her or in a serious relationship, and she might just be friends with her, but the thought that she might be interested in someone else destroys my resolve and is upsetting me more than I thought it would (whoops, guess my crush is bigger than I thought). I guess I?ll find out about that soon enough. And if she IS into someone else and hasn?t really thought of me that way, is it possible to spark an attraction in her?
I guess some people are going to say "ask her on a date." And that's a possibility, but I guess I'd like to see if I can make this a bit...smoother. I feel like the timing is not right to just ask her out just yet and it would be a little awkward, especially since we started out on the friends foot. I guess I want to gauge or provoke interest a bit more, if possible.
I've been doing a bit more than with my last crush, and we communicate better so I'm a bit more confident. I?ve been trying to do the eye contact thing. Today I mentioned something that made me think of her while I was with family for Christmas. I am going to try to hang out with her one on one more. Any other brilliant ideas? The problem is that when it?s another girl it?s always kind of hazy because you can think YOU?RE being flirty and the other person thinks you?re just being friendly. The thing is, it?s so hard for me to be direct with flirting. Guess I?m just wondering if anyone has any great ideas on how the progression should be, or even if there?s any other lesbians out there with anecdotes about what they did or do in this type of situation.
I?ve recently been hanging out with someone that I?ve known for a little more than a year. She is also a lesbian. We hadn?t really hung out one on one much or anything, and she got into a fight with some of my friends and they all had a falling out, which led to me kind of avoiding her a bit. Not being mean to her or anything like that, just not really engaging her. I didn?t know her very well at the time anyway, so it wasn?t like I was ditching her or something. Recently though she has moved into my town and we have more mutual friends.
She reached out to me to hang out a couple times and I accepted and we had fun. Mostly in groups and such. But recently we?ve been in touch/hanging out a bit more, mainly with other friends, and both initiating plans. And wouldn?t you know it, I?m kinda crushing on her. It?s probably because I always had a seed of a crush/attraction to her, and I guess the fact that she was suddenly hitting me up a lot, and then us having a few deep conversations about our mutual friends, made that grow into a regular crush.
So, what are some things I can do to steer this in a more romantic direction before I suddenly get lost in friend-ville and am doomed to suffer there for all eternity? This is pretty much all just starting so I have a fresh slate to work with here. There's good signs and bad signs from her end, and she's kind of hard to read at the moment. I probably am too.
I am suspicious of a friend of hers that she seems to be texting a lot, and that is giving a huge blow to my confidence here. I know she?s not dating her or in a serious relationship, and she might just be friends with her, but the thought that she might be interested in someone else destroys my resolve and is upsetting me more than I thought it would (whoops, guess my crush is bigger than I thought). I guess I?ll find out about that soon enough. And if she IS into someone else and hasn?t really thought of me that way, is it possible to spark an attraction in her?
I guess some people are going to say "ask her on a date." And that's a possibility, but I guess I'd like to see if I can make this a bit...smoother. I feel like the timing is not right to just ask her out just yet and it would be a little awkward, especially since we started out on the friends foot. I guess I want to gauge or provoke interest a bit more, if possible.
I've been doing a bit more than with my last crush, and we communicate better so I'm a bit more confident. I?ve been trying to do the eye contact thing. Today I mentioned something that made me think of her while I was with family for Christmas. I am going to try to hang out with her one on one more. Any other brilliant ideas? The problem is that when it?s another girl it?s always kind of hazy because you can think YOU?RE being flirty and the other person thinks you?re just being friendly. The thing is, it?s so hard for me to be direct with flirting. Guess I?m just wondering if anyone has any great ideas on how the progression should be, or even if there?s any other lesbians out there with anecdotes about what they did or do in this type of situation.
Gay engineers hide sexuality to safeguard career, finds UK study
Nearly half of gay and lesbian engineers in a survey said they hid their sexuality from their colleagues.
'The Imitation Game' releases first trailer; set to open BFI London Film Fest
The Weinstein Company has released the first official trailer for The Imitation Game, a film about Alan Turing who was the genius and closeted mathematician leading the team that cracked the German Enigma Code during World War II. The film was directed by Morten Tyldum and stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Turing, Keira Knightley as his fellow code-breaker Joan Clarke, Matthew Goode, Mark Strong and Rory Kinnear. Watch the trailer below:
Turing is known as a pioneer of modern-day computing and is credited with cracking the German Enigma code and contributing to the production of the first computer. During World War II, he became part of Britain's top-secret code-breaking center and his contributions significantly shortened the war and saved countless lives. Turing eventually became a victim of an unenlightened British establishment when he was prosecuted for being gay and ultimately took his own life. Nonetheless, he is undoubtedly one of the most legendary and influential computer scientists in history.
The Imitation Game will premiere as the opening film at the 58th annual BFI London Film Festival on October 8. It will be released in the US on November 21.
July 21, 2014
Issues:
Entertainment,
Film
Turing is known as a pioneer of modern-day computing and is credited with cracking the German Enigma code and contributing to the production of the first computer. During World War II, he became part of Britain's top-secret code-breaking center and his contributions significantly shortened the war and saved countless lives. Turing eventually became a victim of an unenlightened British establishment when he was prosecuted for being gay and ultimately took his own life. Nonetheless, he is undoubtedly one of the most legendary and influential computer scientists in history.
The Imitation Game will premiere as the opening film at the 58th annual BFI London Film Festival on October 8. It will be released in the US on November 21.
July 21, 2014
Issues:
Entertainment,
Film
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
(79) Chica Bomb
(Sorry guys, comments are disabled on this post while we work on site issues.) Finally been bullied into posting a new show, it’s been forever! Been having some technical issues with the site, PLEASE ignore the hideous colors on the audio player, they’re DEFINITELY temporary, but we ARE going to try to post more regularly […]
Armond White: The Long Day Closes Is The Greatest Gay Film Ever Made
Filmmaker Terence Davies? longing and sublime look back at his youth, now on Criterion.
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If she tells me I'm same-sex attracted one more time, I will scream!
Even after taking a year off with no contact, my mother is continuing her negative comments toward my relationship with my lesbian partner. We followed much of the advice in this previous AskMe, and did the year of no contact and it actually seemed to work for a while. It seems to be wearing off and my mother is now making remarks to various siblings of mine (I come from a big Mormon family) that "Natasha's" and my children will not turn out right, comparing the situation to my cousin's who grew up with a single mom and how they turned out without a father home, that she just can't get comfortable with the arrangement, etc. How do I specifically tell my mom this is Not Ok and get her to knock it off? After the year of no contact (ended 8 months ago) my parents invited us over to their house for dinner, my dad apologized for a lot of the stuff he and my mom said during that time. We've had several get togethers since then.
Fast forward to yesterday. Things have been going...better in a sense that they don't treat Natasha half as rudely as they did before, but it's still a bit weird. However, my family just returned from a 2 week European vacation two days ago (that we were not invited on... my mother told my sister that it was because we had told her that we would only sleep in the same bed during the trip, and had declined. We never got the chance to make a decision either way, as, we weren't ever invited. It's better we didn't go, but that's another story for another day).
My mom keeps telling different siblings of mine (who relate this to me in one way or another) that she just doesn't approve of Natasha, that our children are going to suffer (if she only knew we are seriously considering getting pregnant by the end of the year), and that "living this way is going to have serious consequences down the road." Direct quote.
I've been out since I was 21- to the whole world but this is my first serious relationship where marriage and babies have been discussed. My mother called yesterday and I didn't pick up her call- since they have been gone 2 weeks it's been a while since I talked to her. I screened her call and am now writing this AskMe.
What is a reasonable way to interact with my mother on this? I want to call her out for her bad behavior and I don't really have the words to do it. My mom does intimidate me a little but I have always been known to stand up to bullies so this shouldn't be any different. As of this month, Natasha and I have since moved out of state and so contact with them will be even less frequent, but this all sucks so much. I still have siblings living at home that she's influencing.
I'm just your standard lesbian with a beautiful partner that I love dearly. Nothing to write home about, so why is my mother (and my dad more removed) having such a hard time coming to grips with "life"? I don't understand and I don't know how to cope. I've been going through this for almost two years with them and the stress and worry have become overwhelming. Natasha has been so understanding through all of this but I worry about the impact it has on her. I thought the Dan Savage "year off" would do the trick, and it worked for a little while but there are deeper seated feelings about my partnership with Natasha than I ever thought were actually possible. Thank you in advance for reading.
Fast forward to yesterday. Things have been going...better in a sense that they don't treat Natasha half as rudely as they did before, but it's still a bit weird. However, my family just returned from a 2 week European vacation two days ago (that we were not invited on... my mother told my sister that it was because we had told her that we would only sleep in the same bed during the trip, and had declined. We never got the chance to make a decision either way, as, we weren't ever invited. It's better we didn't go, but that's another story for another day).
My mom keeps telling different siblings of mine (who relate this to me in one way or another) that she just doesn't approve of Natasha, that our children are going to suffer (if she only knew we are seriously considering getting pregnant by the end of the year), and that "living this way is going to have serious consequences down the road." Direct quote.
I've been out since I was 21- to the whole world but this is my first serious relationship where marriage and babies have been discussed. My mother called yesterday and I didn't pick up her call- since they have been gone 2 weeks it's been a while since I talked to her. I screened her call and am now writing this AskMe.
What is a reasonable way to interact with my mother on this? I want to call her out for her bad behavior and I don't really have the words to do it. My mom does intimidate me a little but I have always been known to stand up to bullies so this shouldn't be any different. As of this month, Natasha and I have since moved out of state and so contact with them will be even less frequent, but this all sucks so much. I still have siblings living at home that she's influencing.
I'm just your standard lesbian with a beautiful partner that I love dearly. Nothing to write home about, so why is my mother (and my dad more removed) having such a hard time coming to grips with "life"? I don't understand and I don't know how to cope. I've been going through this for almost two years with them and the stress and worry have become overwhelming. Natasha has been so understanding through all of this but I worry about the impact it has on her. I thought the Dan Savage "year off" would do the trick, and it worked for a little while but there are deeper seated feelings about my partnership with Natasha than I ever thought were actually possible. Thank you in advance for reading.
Armond White: The Long Day Closes Is The Greatest Gay Film Ever Made
Filmmaker Terence Davies? longing and sublime look back at his youth, now on Criterion.
read more
read more
This Just In: The live LGBT news blog for Friday, July 18, 2014
("This Just In" is GLBTNN's daily blog about news affecting the LGBT community. Check back often as the blog is updated when news breaks.)
Gay marriage stirs backlash as businesses assert religion
The rise of gay marriage has opened a new front in the U.S. culture wars, pitting small-business owners with religious objections against customers seeking to shop without fear of discrimination.
Keep up with LGBT news from the U.S. and around the world. Read the popular LGBT news blog by Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender News Network, a media partner with SDGLN.
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Gay marriage stirs backlash as businesses assert religion
The rise of gay marriage has opened a new front in the U.S. culture wars, pitting small-business owners with religious objections against customers seeking to shop without fear of discrimination.
Keep up with LGBT news from the U.S. and around the world. Read the popular LGBT news blog by Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender News Network, a media partner with SDGLN.
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The Astonishing Actual History Of The Gay Rights Movement
In no case is this truer than for gay America. Our story, if presented as a Hollywood screenplay, would be dismissed as too outlandish, too melodramatic and implausible, to be taken seriously. And yet it happened, and remains with us � so close it is hard to see it, and with several sharp twists and turns.
SLDN Releases Statement on Major Margaret Witt Ruling
Statement from Aubrey Sarvis, Army veteran and executive director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network:
“This is a stunning victory for Major Witt and all gay and lesbian patriots serving our country today. Clearly federal courts are trending towards allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly. It is only a matter of time before this happens throughout the armed forces, but these cases are slowly working their way through the legal process and it could well be years before there is finality in the courts. The favorable Witt decision, like the Log Cabin Republicans ruling, only underscores the urgent need for the Senate to take up repeal in the lame duck session.”
Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (www.sldn.org) is a national, non-profit …
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“This is a stunning victory for Major Witt and all gay and lesbian patriots serving our country today. Clearly federal courts are trending towards allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly. It is only a matter of time before this happens throughout the armed forces, but these cases are slowly working their way through the legal process and it could well be years before there is finality in the courts. The favorable Witt decision, like the Log Cabin Republicans ruling, only underscores the urgent need for the Senate to take up repeal in the lame duck session.”
Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (www.sldn.org) is a national, non-profit …
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At a critical time for our nation's economy, we need all of our workers to be focused on making the most of their talent, skill and ingenuity, rather than worrying about losing their job due to discrimination.
Valerie Jarrett, senior adviser to the president, discussing President Obama's executive order protecting LGBT employees of f -More-
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
At a critical time for our nation's economy, we need all of our workers to be focused on making the most of their talent, skill and ingenuity, rather than worrying about losing their job due to discrimination.
Valerie Jarrett, senior adviser to the president, discussing President Obama's executive order protecting LGBT employees of f -More-
Hedy's Hints: How to keep your summer utility bills down
As the temperature begins to rise, so do the numbers on your electric bill. Even in the beautiful city of San Diego, where the average temperature is right around 70 degrees all year, air conditioning can become necessary in the heat of the summer. The more you use your appliances and air conditioning units, the more money you?re spending on your utility bill. With the longer days and summer fun come bigger bills. Fortunately, there are steps that you can take to keep your utility bills down in the summer months.
As the temperature begins to rise, so do the numbers on your electric bill. Even in the beautiful city of San Diego, where the average temperature is right around 70 degrees all year, air conditioning can become necessary in the heat of the summer.
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As the temperature begins to rise, so do the numbers on your electric bill. Even in the beautiful city of San Diego, where the average temperature is right around 70 degrees all year, air conditioning can become necessary in the heat of the summer.
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Out and About
Friday, September 24
Come and get WIRED this Friday at the Brass Rail with Ashley Matte at 9:30 p.m. followed by Dj Kiki Koenig at 11:00 p.m. , The Brass Rail, 3796 Fifth Avenue - San Diego 92103. Great Drink Specials, Live Music and amazing DJs!!!- (619) 298 - 2233
Saturday, September 25
Tony and Pulitzer Award winner Neil Simon’s semi-autobiographical plays follow the life of Eugene Morris Jerome from the foibles of youth in late-1930s Brooklyn to a career as a comedy writer for radio. Brighton Beach Memoirs and Broadway Bound are performed in a rotating repertory schedule at The Old Globe Theatre. Brighton Beach Memoirs first regular performance is on Saturday, September 25 at 2:00 p.m. Broadway Bound first regular performance is on Sunday, Septe…
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Come and get WIRED this Friday at the Brass Rail with Ashley Matte at 9:30 p.m. followed by Dj Kiki Koenig at 11:00 p.m. , The Brass Rail, 3796 Fifth Avenue - San Diego 92103. Great Drink Specials, Live Music and amazing DJs!!!- (619) 298 - 2233
Saturday, September 25
Tony and Pulitzer Award winner Neil Simon’s semi-autobiographical plays follow the life of Eugene Morris Jerome from the foibles of youth in late-1930s Brooklyn to a career as a comedy writer for radio. Brighton Beach Memoirs and Broadway Bound are performed in a rotating repertory schedule at The Old Globe Theatre. Brighton Beach Memoirs first regular performance is on Saturday, September 25 at 2:00 p.m. Broadway Bound first regular performance is on Sunday, Septe…
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Dining, Drinks & Desserts
Supper and a beer with “Little Nicky”
With just a few short weeks left to the Mid Term Elections I encourage everyone to vote and make a commitment to get their family and friends out to cast their ballots. At the printing of this article the San Diego County Registrar of Voters opened for early voting. Please get out and vote!
This week my scheduled guest was Community Volunteer Extraordinaire, Mr. Mike Williams. Unfortunately he was ill so I thought it would be fun to ask “Little Nicky” to join me. We selected Bourbon Street Bar & Grill. Our freakish thunder and rain storm last week created the desire for some good old fashion comfort food.
Ready to debrief from our work day and everything else we opted for a couple of items that do a great job in satisfying those cravings. …
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With just a few short weeks left to the Mid Term Elections I encourage everyone to vote and make a commitment to get their family and friends out to cast their ballots. At the printing of this article the San Diego County Registrar of Voters opened for early voting. Please get out and vote!
This week my scheduled guest was Community Volunteer Extraordinaire, Mr. Mike Williams. Unfortunately he was ill so I thought it would be fun to ask “Little Nicky” to join me. We selected Bourbon Street Bar & Grill. Our freakish thunder and rain storm last week created the desire for some good old fashion comfort food.
Ready to debrief from our work day and everything else we opted for a couple of items that do a great job in satisfying those cravings. …
Read More
Sweet: My Sister is a Star!
In the Life was aboard the Sweet Cruise that Lipstick & I were on in November. They made an awesome video and Dipstick's sister Mary Belge is interviewed. Check it out!
Horoscope
Breathe, Aries!
Saturn in Libra is squaring the lunar nodes, showing necessary steps in the relationships that are most important in our life’s lessons. Mars is in Scorpio, offering insights to those problems, but those insights can feel more urgent and be more complex and distracting than strictly helpful.
ARIES
March 20 – April 19
Your control issues can wreck your relationship. Step back. Breathe. Be responsible for yourself, and let your partner do the same. Domestic issues are an easy distraction. Work is where you need to focus your energies and sense of mastery.
TAURUS
April 20 – May 20
You’re fine on the details; don’t worry about those! Work on seeing the big picture. There, you need some help that you’ll …
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Saturn in Libra is squaring the lunar nodes, showing necessary steps in the relationships that are most important in our life’s lessons. Mars is in Scorpio, offering insights to those problems, but those insights can feel more urgent and be more complex and distracting than strictly helpful.
ARIES
March 20 – April 19
Your control issues can wreck your relationship. Step back. Breathe. Be responsible for yourself, and let your partner do the same. Domestic issues are an easy distraction. Work is where you need to focus your energies and sense of mastery.
TAURUS
April 20 – May 20
You’re fine on the details; don’t worry about those! Work on seeing the big picture. There, you need some help that you’ll …
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Monday, July 21, 2014
Lambda Legal: Halt HIV-based criminal prosecutions in wake of DOJ guidance
Lambda Legal today called for a moratorium on all HIV-based criminal prosecutions until state legislatures take action to implement the reforms recommended in the recent Department of Justice (DOJ) guidance advising states to eliminate such prosecutions absent clear evidence of an intent to harm and a significant risk of actual transmission.
?This is a watershed moment in the fight to decriminalize HIV."
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?This is a watershed moment in the fight to decriminalize HIV."
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POZitively Speaking
According to the Centers for Disease Control data collected in 2007/08 of the estimated number of diagnoses of HIV infection among MEN* in the 37 states with confidential name-based HIV infection, reporting by transmission category MSWM or (men who have sex with men), was 17,758. That’s up from years previous which was 16,992. Although not too much of a difference it seems the message of safe sex is getting out there. Some of the cultural behavior is much harder to break through, for example GLBT people of color lead among new HIV infection cases and in the category among Latinos it was 7,121.
This need for seed, so to speak, seems to be more of a headline grabber or attention getter. A cultural phenomenon is the BUG CHASERS, those from within the …
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This need for seed, so to speak, seems to be more of a headline grabber or attention getter. A cultural phenomenon is the BUG CHASERS, those from within the …
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For LGBT People, Online Communication & Community Combine to Create ... The Gospel According to Facebook
STURGEON BAY, WI (04-17-14) -- Area resident Bruce Joffe had been working on his new book, The Gospel According to Facebook: Social Media and the Good News, for nearly two years when a series of Letters to the Editor published in a local newspaper motivated him to complete his message of how God?s grace, love and reconciliation is being shared anew courtesy of today?s social media.
Life Beyond Therapy
DADT and Mental health
Over the years, I have been the psychotherapist for many active and retired military personnel. It has been my privilege and honor to be able to support these fine men and women in whatever ways I can. It is clear to me, however, that DADT has been a major roadblock to their mental health.
As a federal law, DADT institutionalizes several phenomena:
• Forcing active and retired servicemen/women to lie, deny and hide who they are as LGBT people
• Making it crucial that LGBT servicemen/women take on a false identity, e.g. pretend they’re heterosexual
• Labeling LGBT people as unacceptable
• Putting extreme social/financial/emotional pressure on servicemen/women to keep pretending, lying, denying and hiding
In essence, DADT is a …
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Over the years, I have been the psychotherapist for many active and retired military personnel. It has been my privilege and honor to be able to support these fine men and women in whatever ways I can. It is clear to me, however, that DADT has been a major roadblock to their mental health.
As a federal law, DADT institutionalizes several phenomena:
• Forcing active and retired servicemen/women to lie, deny and hide who they are as LGBT people
• Making it crucial that LGBT servicemen/women take on a false identity, e.g. pretend they’re heterosexual
• Labeling LGBT people as unacceptable
• Putting extreme social/financial/emotional pressure on servicemen/women to keep pretending, lying, denying and hiding
In essence, DADT is a …
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Hobby Lobby still fighting to deny trans* woman's rights
In a June 30 ruling in favor of the religious beliefs of national chain Hobby Lobby superseding contraceptive care for its female employees, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito determined that "corporations are people."
Ace Hotel Plans "International Pride Roadshow" for LA, London, NYC, and Palm Springs
Well here's a fun approach by a hotel to help guests celebrate Gay Pride events in a few fab cities around the United States as well as in London. The hipster-chic Ace Hotel brand is launching a four-city "International Pride Road Show" that will bring a group of DJs and musical guests to the Ace Hotels in Los Angeles, London, New York City, and Palm Springs during these cities' Pride weekends. The dates are June 7 and 8 in Los Angeles, June 26 in London, June 28 in New York City, and November 7 and 8 in Palm Springs....Read Full Post
Sunday, July 20, 2014
(63) Stop the Insanity! w/Susan Powter
Out Three-time New York Times best-selling author and creator of the ?Stop the Insanity!? movement, Susan Powter, like you’ve never heard her before. We talk Wellness, Radical Feminism, Lesbian Culture, her new book The Politics of Stupid and more … http://susanpowteronline.com ____________________________ PS. The Trevor Project crisis and suicide prevention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender […]
(69) The Lesma Files: Snotty and Shitty
More hostility, fights, and internal chaos�from The Lesma Files;�a random solo anti-soy rant in between spats, so hold on to your nun�habits. Truthfully, this is a positively disgusting podcast�including potty humor. Don’t listen while eating. Enjoy! 8) Disclaimer: Soy�is�especially toxic�for people with�Thyroid issues. (some would argue it is the cause) If�a person doesn’t�know�they have Thyroid […]
CDC educates on dangers of smoking for HIV+
Ft. Lauderdale, FL; July 16, 2014-The CDC's Tips From Former Smokers Campaign marks a historic partnership between the CDC's tobacco and HIV divisions to spread the news about the synergistic bad effects of smoking while HIV+.
Help Curve Keep Publishing!
We know these are tough economic times. And print media is struggling to figure out its place in the wide world of instant internet gratification. If you value Curve magazine, the place that gave Lipstick & Dipstick it's start and the place that continues to publish our monthly column, please do what you can to help out.This year Curve is celebrating it's 20th year. But unless the community comes out to support it, Curve will not make it to its 21st birthday. Curve is struggling financially. There are a few ways you can help.Make a donation. Subscribe. And when you do, you're entered to win a trip to Cozumel with Sweet Vacations. Unlike most magazines that rely on advertising dollars to sustain them, Curve relies on its subscribers. So don't just pick an issue up at the newsstand. Become a regular subscriber. Advertise. If you own a business, consider advertising in Curve magazine. Buy your tickets to the 20th anniversary gala in San Francisco. We love Curve and we know you do too. So please, do what you can. If you already subscribe, consider buying one for a friend. Where would our community be without Curve?
Zayn Malik Shirtless Again
Yet another photo of Zayn Malik Shirtless. People keep asking me for them...
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
No gays at the Chymorvah guesthouse Cornwall
Martin Hall and his civil partner Stephen Preddy, were turned away from a homophobic guesthouse at Marizion in Corwall, on the grounds of "we dont allow unmarried couples to sleep in our guesthouse". Given that Hall and Preddy are in a civil partnership, this is a bit hard to believe.
It transpires that the owners are some sort of religious nut cases who have taken some line from the Bible a little to far. It is incredible in this day and age that people still think this way. It is obviously far more important to ignore the "LOVE" and "ACCEPTANCE" message from their faith and focus on - shock horror - the possibility that two people might actually have SEX.
Peter and Hazelmary Bull denied the allegation that they discriminated against Martyn Hall and Steven Preddy because they were gay, but insisted their faith meant they believed unmarried couples should not share a room under their roof.
A second case of homophobic prejudice. Sad old couple!
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
It transpires that the owners are some sort of religious nut cases who have taken some line from the Bible a little to far. It is incredible in this day and age that people still think this way. It is obviously far more important to ignore the "LOVE" and "ACCEPTANCE" message from their faith and focus on - shock horror - the possibility that two people might actually have SEX.
Peter and Hazelmary Bull denied the allegation that they discriminated against Martyn Hall and Steven Preddy because they were gay, but insisted their faith meant they believed unmarried couples should not share a room under their roof.
A second case of homophobic prejudice. Sad old couple!
Gay newsView Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
(16) New Year, Same Ol? Foolishness ?
Republican Pizza Pies, Nipple Clamps, Porn Virgins, Naughty Blue Chippers, Ear Piercing Karaoke … does any of it really have any meaning?
Chicago's Hotel Palomar Creates Gay Pride Package
Chicago's hip and gay-popular Hotel Palomar, which is part of the exceptional Kimpton boutique hotel brand, is offering a special deal and cheeky welcome to those visiting during the Chicago Gay Pride Festival this year. Good for stays from June 19 through June 23, the Palomar Pride package contains the following perks: guests receive 10% off the best available rate (the hotel will donate the difference to the Red Ribbon Campaign); a $30 beverage credit at the sleek and sexy Sable Kitchen & Bar; an "Essential Hangover Kit"; and a late checkout. It's a pretty fun and reasonably priced way to experience one of the city's most stylish accommodations during one of the Midwest's premier events.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
It Starts With A 'D', Aunt Mama
Tonight, I was talking to my 13 year old niece, Mackenzie.She was bringing me up to date on how she is spending her summer, the pool that she frequents and the many delights of Chinese take out. Then, she suddenly remembered that she was doing a thing tomorrow...Mackenzie: "Guess where I'm going tomorrow?"Me: "Ummmm, to an ashram to take a systematic course in ancient techniques of yoga and kriya?"Mackenzie, "No. It starts with a 'D', Aunt Mama. It has to do with teeth."Me: "A dungeon? You're going to a dungeon to get your teeth knocked out by a professional torturer?"Mackenzie: "No, Aunt Mama! I'm going to the dentist... sheesh!"
(18) Xanax and Rehab ?All In One? Trip
Sandi’s shares her Xanax experience in a “1″ minute commentary.
Oh Dear John Travolta in another Gay legal case
Image via Wikipedia
Who cares (but John Travolta) is John Travolta is gay or not? In an interview with The Advocate, Carry Fisher answered questions about Johns sexuality. Fisher and Travolta go way back. On a question about whether Travolta was gay, Fisher said:-
?Wow! I mean, my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don?t care. Look, I?m sorry that he?s uncomfortable with it, and that?s all I can say. It only draws more attention to it when you make that kind of legal fuss. Just leave it be.
There have been a number of guys who have alleged that they have had relationships with Travolta.
Image via Wikipedia
On being gay John , get over it!
Gay news
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
Who cares (but John Travolta) is John Travolta is gay or not? In an interview with The Advocate, Carry Fisher answered questions about Johns sexuality. Fisher and Travolta go way back. On a question about whether Travolta was gay, Fisher said:-
?Wow! I mean, my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don?t care. Look, I?m sorry that he?s uncomfortable with it, and that?s all I can say. It only draws more attention to it when you make that kind of legal fuss. Just leave it be.
There have been a number of guys who have alleged that they have had relationships with Travolta.
Image via Wikipedia
On being gay John , get over it!
Gay news
View Australian Queer News on the web at Gay News Blog
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