Sunday, June 26, 2011

Is there any going back?

I think I'm a lesbian. I'm married. I have no gay friends. My family is Conservative Christian. What do I do? Pretty much just like the title. I've been noticing an increasingly hard to ignore attraction to women, and a lessening (almost to the point of absence) in attraction to men in general and my husband. I still love him. I still want him in my life. I'm frightened. The thought of divorce makes me nauseous. Other than this blip, we have a pretty normal and comfortable life together. We talk, we fight, we make up, we laugh, we're happy, and even sometimes have enjoyable sex. I think I've known about my attraction to women for a while, internally. I just don't know what suddenly made it all click in my head.

I have no idea where to go from here and I'm scared. I really don't want this, but it feels too big to ignore.

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