I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. I don't want to be with men. I don't like men as well as women, I prefer women sexually, and I love my girlfriend an extreme amount. We're very happy and healthy. I like the idea of being with men, and I had a good experience with the one guy I've seen (see next paragraph). I just know I'm happiest with her, and the few benefits of dating guys wouldn't make up for how much I care about her and how happy she makes me.
This doesn't bother me often. But the last time I had these urges, I ended up breaking it off with her abruptly, seeing the guy for a few weeks, and then ending that because it wasn't what I wanted. She took me back. I will not do that again. I don't want to break up ever, but I definitely won't break up with her for a stupid fling.
How do I ignore these feelings? I don't care that I'm sexually attracted to both genders. Not a big deal. The problem is that I start to think about men too much in what-if hypotheticals, and that makes me anxious. That anxiety makes me question the relationship in ways I wouldn't if I were thinking clearly. And then that leads to me distancing myself from my girlfriend. And then it snowballs.
I know I need to talk to someone about this, but I don't want to bring it up with her because of last time. I just need tips on how to rationalize this to myself and convince myself that this is not the end of the world that my brain wants me to think it is. And I do not want to break up with her.
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