Texts from Lindsey

 Yeah, she has her own little pic now.  I spent a cajillion dollars on her senior pics so I am getting my money's worth from it, I can assure you.  Time to empty out the texts and tweets in my phone.  Here they are for your reading enjoyment: -------------------------------------------------------Her dad pays big bucks to send her to a good Christian charter school where she goes for instruction 2 days per week and does the remainder of her work at home.  Today was an instruction day and I got his little gem this morning:."My Bible teacher told us to have a 'threesome.'  She was talking about Bible study groups.  She didn't get why we were giggling.  Poor teacher.".(Poor, indeed!)-------------------------------------------------------Nothing is as sad as a sick kid.  Lindsey got sick over the weekend and was texting me to come get her from her dads house to come rescue her and bring her home:."You can't see my face right now.  It is utterly pathetic and woeful.  Plus, I am super-sick and, therefore, should be babied to no end.".I asked her "Are you running a fever?" to which she replied:."You don't have to be running a fever to start an outbreak.  Ask any epidemiologist."------------------------------------------------------I don't even know what went down here but it did make me giggle:."Dear Dad, YEAH.  NOW YOU KNOW NOT TO STALK ME DON'T YOU?".---------------------------------------------------------------Awkwardly, Miss & I went to our favorite Mexican restaurant this past Saturday.  Neither of us had kids which is a miracle!  Well, not so much for me since I only have a 17 year old at home now but that's beside the point.  We had 2 fantastic (re: STRONG) frozen Margaritas.  Towards the end of our meal, who should be seated behind us but my ex husband, his girlfriend and our 2 children.  Of course the first thing I hear his his LOUD voice asking the waiter to turn the station to show the Alabama game.  There goes my appetite!  Before Lindsey saw me sitting behind her, she tweeted:."Mexican food and football...it's like my own personal purgatory.".When I reached between the slats of the seat to pinch her tushie, she turned around and realized it was me.  Then, I got this text:."Stop touching me.  I almost screamed RAPE and socked you in the head.".That (plus the margarita).. (mostly the margarita) made me giggle.------------------------------------------------------My kids know that I hate talking about the cold, being cold or looking at things that look cold.  So they love to torture me and Lindsey took the opportunity to do so on Friday night when it was cold and she was going to a football game with her brother.  Here is that text:."Your son is wearing short sleeves.  He wants you to know that he is bringing a jacket.  I'm pretty sure it's getting left in the car.".-------------------------------------------------------A few weeks ago, Lindsey went with me to visit her brother in college.  As we had lunch together, I was talking about when they would get married one day and then left to go get our drinks.  When I came back, they were engrossed in wedding conversation.  "How mature of them to be having this adult conversation about weddings" I thought.  Then, my phone beeped and I saw that Lindsey had tweeted: ."Discussing with my brother how to organize the best Minecraft-themed wedding.  We are hereby cooler than you." .followed by:."We should never be allowed to be adults!"  ------------------------------------------------------Finally, a text from her while she was in school:."We're doing radicals withing radicals now!  WHAT THE CRAP!  THIS IS LIKE MATH INCEPTION -.-"

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