My little sister is a lesbian, and seems misinformed about some basic sexual concepts (eg: safe sex for lesbians) .... I'm a 29 year old straight lady, with a 19 year old lesbian sister (we'll call her S) and an 18 year old straight sister (we'll call her H). I have always had a close relationship with both sisters, and the channels of communication have been very open regarding sex and other "sensitive" subjects. They look up to me, and I am supportive and try to give good advice when asked.
Recently (within the last year or so) both sisters have become sexually active. However it has become apparent over the last year that my lesbian sister S has developed something of an attitude. We've had some general talks about STD's and the like, but she acts like no one in the family has any right to say anything to her (about her sex behavior) because we "just don't understand" because we're not gay.
I COMPLETELY understand her need to be able to connect with someone who has had similar sexual experiences, but some things transcend orientation in my opinion, eg: safe sex practices!
S spent many years hiding her sexuality from my parents (but not H and I), and would have her girlfriend spend the night, while telling my parents they were just friends. I called her out on this (in my opinion inappropriate) behavior, and she dismisses it because she "can't get pregnant" and "what's the big deal anyway?" When I explain how our parents would not approve of a boy spending the night with H she get's upset and rolls her eyes and tells me I just don't get it. Well, sorry, I think it's the same thing. Now she's telling us she doesn't need to get her yearly exams at the gyno because she's not having sex with a penis, she acts like she's magically immune to STD's, and she's hooking up with random girls from a bondage bar because "she can't get pregnant!" She has loud sex in my parents house while people are there (someone actually walked in on her during my uncles retirement party!) and when you ask her to stop she has no respect and acts like we're being unreasonable and trying to stifle her gayness (no matter how accepting we are, and WE ARE, she thinks we are trying to stifle her gayness). My parents have told her this is unacceptable, but she sneaks around and does it anyway, and now they've asked me to help.
I really want some resources to point her in the right direction, mainly about how being a sexually active lesbian doesn't mean you can neglect your body and your safety ... which is what she is currently doing. Books, interwebs, penpals ... anything! I am really frustrated because she completely disregards me and everyone around her because we're straight. (again, I completely understand and agree with the real need to have a friend/mentor that is a lesbian to have some good talks with her). Any advice about her attitude would also be helpful!
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