A Menstrual Conversation

Men, don't bother to read this.....Ladies, over the last year or two, I've been having increasingly heavy menstrual cycles. They used to be relatively mild, but as of late, they could be likened to the draining of a main artery. I have been discussing the issues of how extreme the flow has been with my wife, Melissa. She has been a sympathetic ear because hers used to be this bad all of the time until she had surgery for it..Having a sense of humor about it has been important. The last thing I would want is for her to go into the bathroom and think I murdered someone in there. She can laugh about how fast I can kill a box of tampons. And they aren't the wussy little "Regulars". I buy "Mrs. Kong" sized tampons. Even with that kind of protection, I have had a few leaky emergencies this week..Tonight, we went out to a gathering and when we were getting ready to leave, I had that feeling of "FULL!" so I went to check on things. Yep, FULL. Oops. No replacement tampon. Shit. I'll have to make a make-shift pad from toilet paper to get me through the drive home. I found a plastic Target bag in my car to sit on just in case there was an outpouring of love from good ole Aunt Flo..Driving home, I was discussing my situation with Melissa. ."I feel like I should be getting a transfusion from all of this blood loss. This is crazy! I wanted to stop at the Marietta Gay Pride festival on the way home but can't even do that because I have a geyser in my panties!" ."Well, when you have these heavy periods, just wear a pad as a back-up" she advised.."I just hate pads! They are bulky and hot and itchy. I really, really have a strong aversion to them." I said.."Fine if you don't want to wear them at home, but when we go out tomorrow, you better man up and put your pad on so we don't end up in this predicament again!"

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